A Gabby Gossip's Tactics

Every neighborhood has one. I'm sure you've encountered this gabby fiend at least once in your lifetime. Her bright, cross-stitched sweaters, ringing hands, and considerate semblance make her a dead giveaway to any perceptive spectator.

This certain individual is an avid conversationalist, having been born with the quality of charismatic correspondence. She's not the casual acquaintance who's apt to mention, in passing, something or other about the weather prediction. No, she couldn't care less about the weather as long as it's reasonable enough to permit a visitation to her friend's house. What really matters to her and what she seeks after is the knowledge of your dirtiest secrets, worst nightmares, and innermost feelings, especially if they pertain to someone else, and she has the maniacal tactics to procure what she desires from any unguarded victim.

Her most influential tactic is to suddenly appear when she's least wanted, when you're at your breaking point, fuming over the recent argument between you and your former best friend. While your tantrum is heated to the point of extremity, she quiets you, agreeing that you were in the right and that your friend was most assuredly the culprit of your upheaval, but all the while, she is taking notes, penning your words into her mind, coaxing from your heated, unrestrained lips every detail of the event, so that she may return to her other friends, prepared to pass-on the ardent news of your rant. The fickleness of her attitudes and prying concern is unmatched even in the soap operas with which she's an addict.

Her second and more devious attack is seldom used and often avoided even by the most maniacal of gossipers, for it is very despicable, but even the most caring of the nature can resort to this malicious tactic, if compelled. If you remain guarded toward her attacks and refuse her the gossip which is her muse, she may be forced into this filthy method of twisting the truth. Devious, yes, but affective. She will twist what little you say or exaggerate the dynamism with which you spoke, making it seem as though you were overly animated by something you merely and casual mentioned.

Whether by lending a prying ear and a coaxing tongue or by deceitfully truth-twisting, the average gabby gossip will get what she desires. Be warned, her tactics are sly, but if you'll keep a guarded spirit and don't involve yourself with those who partake in fiendishly prying into another's business, you'll be able to avoid the adversities of a gabby nature.