Somewhere along the way
I learned not to live deeply

There was a time, a life before this
When I did not know
Any other way than to swim
Full-lunged and tidal in time

Then words flew from my fingers
Dripped blue oxygen rich blood
All my days were new pages

It takes time. It always takes time

I couldn't tell you the hour or even the year
When I started clinging to the surface
When the ache in my lungs
Grew too great to keep diving
When enough harpoon scars made the math
To leave a permanent ache in my ribs

But this is where I live now
Once I would have peered, insatiable
To know what it was that roared in my chest

Now I fear the great sea in me
And what lustrous whisper or
Lusty scream she might sing
In the dark moonless night

So I do not write
So as not to know
Myself in the mirror