Self Reflection.

Empty feeling
worthless, lost
Confused and annoyed
Cut myself
at any
cost
Shattered,
torn
ache after ache
Not at my best
Most likely
depressed
Hungry,
no appetite
Tired,
Can't shut my eyes
In this darkness,
Confide in lies
See everything
but I'm blind to you
Crying,
forgotten
Self mutilation
Can't take much
more
I need air,
I'm suffocating
I'm just trying to get by
But I have obstacles in my way
Feeling like this
day after day
Why'd I wake up?
Why'd I fall asleep?
Here I go,
Falling on my knees
Pleading,
in pain
Starting to go insane
Laughing,
but I'm not happy
My emotions are out of whack!
Depression's back
feel like shit
hurt eating me,
bit by bit
Mad
and sad
Don't know what to do
My arms are so abused
and I'm running out of places
for these cuts
Hurting,
Can't stop
Needing,
but I don't know what
Safety is taken
And I doubt my life is worth saving
more aches in my chest
aches in my head,
my arms are scarring
And I'm sinking
quicker than lead
Can't escape
Adrenaline's over powering
-as another slice in my skin
Cutting over scabs
Don't know where my mind's been
null and void
thoughts are dull
but come back
in a flash
blood rushing
down my arm
as I slice some more flesh
Everything falls
Cause I'm a mess
I'm worthless
And now left screaming
Alone in bliss
In my own little abyss
And as I start to feel dread,
I ask,
"Why can't I just fall dead?"

11-6-06