I'm trying to let the words flow

Let my hand make flowing shapes

Immerse myself in printed words

Leading to faraway lands

Found myself an addiction

Neither heroin nor cigarettes

But the soft, harsh, white glow

Of the internet

Humor and comfort fics

Something to remember

As I lay awake at night

And the clocks tick, tock

As I lay awake at night

And the clocks tick, tock

Tears and little sobs let out

A messy scrawl of pent up words

Pretended scenarios

Flying through in vivid picture

Looking at the mess the next day

And feeling

That sorrow

At the self-pity stark white against black

As I lay awake at night

And the clocks tick, tock

The awful clarity of insight

On the flaws riddled throughout a soul

Little things that we turn a blind eye on

Larger things covered up

Feeling that numbness

Of grudging screaming acknowledgement

Merely the acknowledgement

And maybe

Acceptance

And lest my words become too flowery and sweet

Of a fairy tale or lore

Of an ancient forest sitting by the shoreline with moonlight from above

Rarely do we see those things and let them out to light

And few even fewer

Accepted

It's too easy

Frighteningly easy

To be swept up in the little things of life

Of the paper you had to turn in this morning

Of the lunch you had to make

The meeting you have late afternoon

Or maybe even a hot date

I'd hardly know

And it goes to show

In the changing style of this writing

Did you notice it, dear reader?

The changing of the rhythm

Of the melody I sing

Even in the word choices and structuring

It changed just now, yet again

To that of the children's poet

Or of a storyteller

Hardly there is a difference but in the viewer

That I think

This was my outlet

My little escape

To write some meanderings

And listen

Dance

To a song, faint yet strong

Putting words as I see fit

Without a care for how it sounds

Except for in my head

Where the melody

Strange as it is

And the rhythm

As often as it changes

Are the only things that confine me

In this poem

This outlet

As I lay awake at night

And the clocks tick, tock