a/n: i always seem to write the most when i'm supposed to be doing my precalc homework. anyway. listened to this (turtleducklings dot tumblr dot com slash post slash 35036250703) while i wrote. title is from florence + the machine, summary is from howl's moving castle.
I want to hide my face so you can't see the adoration in it, the sickly sweet scent of infatuation permeating your senses. I wish for a mirror whenever I see you, so that I can see for myself the love that's plain in my face.
I want to hide my eyes so I can't see yours, so my heart won't skip a beat when you say my name and your baby blues crinkle at the corners. Your eyes are so expressive and I can only wish that one day they'll express the love I feel for you back to me, so that I can know you feel the same.
I want to cover my mouth and whisper I love you into my hands, so quietly you won't hear. I want to mumble what I feel into the lines of my palms, the words I wish to whisper against your lips.
I want to cover my ears so that when you talk, your voice rough and deep and soft all at the same time, gravel climbing up your throat, I won't close my eyes and lose myself in the dips and peaks of your words. So that your voice won't rip the words from my throat: I love you I love you I love you!
I don't want you to know, and I don't know why. But you mustn't know. Perhaps it's because the magic of secretly loving you will be ruined once you know.
So for now I'll use my hands to cover my face so my fingers won't itch to twine with yours, to touch your eyes and mouth and ears.
One day perhaps, I'll tell you. And perhaps you'll be happy: perhaps your eyes will soften and your lips will turn upwards into a smile and your voice will reach my ears and you will say, I love you, too.