The few more months that had passed by were becoming more and more like hell at every passing second. And every moment that went by, I always wondered why I always found myself asking more frequently in why I was doing all this. Why I was keep fighting for the sake of mankind when it was so corrupted for who knows how long. And the past few weeks that were spent in the one of the few condominiums in a secluded island of Area 18, there was something deep inside that felt empty. Just like the condominium that Carlo and I took charge of that seemed to be abandoned some time ago when the warlocks that once used to reside there took off with majority of their clothing and all the pictures from the picture frames that lay all around the house.
But I began to remember the reason to why like all the other times when Trent came around to see me. As the footsteps rang throughout the empty place, I heard his voice calling, "Zoey? You in?"
Tracing my fingers down the urn that held Chris's ashes that sat on the shelves, I waited until Trent came into the room that seemed to have been used as an office in the past. When I heard the footsteps stop by the entrance of the room, I quietly asked, "How'd you know where to come and find me here?"
"You kept hiding yourself away at night, and I was getting worried about you," Trent told me. "You've gotten so soft spoken over the course of past few months, and you've been keeping your distance even from me. So I had to ask Carlo for awhile to get him to tell me where you guys resided."
I turned only half way around, but I still didn't turn my head to look at Trent. Instead, I kept my eyes on the ground as I breathed, "And why and what would you need to see me for? You've seen yourself how much of a mess I've been becoming past few months."
Trent walked past me and over to the desk that was left behind by the last resident. With a thoughtful look on his face as he leaned against the edge of the desk, he told me, "Yeah, and just like you may see me as a brother, you're like a sister to me, too. I have rights to be worried about you. Now, talk to me."
"Trent," I sighed pleadingly. I didn't feel like talking, and knowing him as well as I did, I'm sure he knew as well that there honestly wasn't anything that I wanted to say.
Shaking his head, he sternly told me, "No, Zoe. I'm not hearing any of it. Now, talk. That Carlo guy's told me that you're not talking much to him, and if you're not going to talk to the guy you share a residence with, then I'll make sure you talk to me. Now spill it or I'm not leaving until you do." With a small shrug as he bobbed his head from side to side with as a look of slight uncertainty came across his face, "Maybe not even after. Either way, I'm staying to make sure you are and will be alright."
Walking over and jumping onto the desk to sit beside Trent, I looked towards the ground as a few things ran through my mind. There was a part of me that didn't want to tell what was bothering me for not wanting to bother others, Trent included, much. The part of me that wanted to get everything off my chest, however, if it weren't Carlo, then Trent was the perfect person for it. I would have been a fool to push him away to the ends of the earth, allowing myself to slowly drive myself to the brinks of insanity.
Keeping my eyes on the ground, I heavily sighed, "Why? Why does all of this have to be so much easier with you? With the talking and having to be around." Looking up at him, I threw my hands in the air as I exclaimed, "And you're not even a chick! You're a guy!"
With a sheepish smile and shrug to match it, he jokingly said, "I'm not exactly sure if you actually noticed, Zoey, but that just may be because I'm quite good looking. And if you haven't noticed, I think this just may be the first sign to actually noticing." As he motioned his hands as if to tell me to come over, Trent urged me, "C'mon. Talk to me, Zoe. You're going to have to talk to someone sooner or later. And I'm sure as hell that you're not gonna start talking to that Carlo fellow any time soon by the looks of him telling me that he can't seem to get a single peep outta you."
I hesitated as I told him, "I just don't know, Trent." When he looked at me with curiosity, I struggled to find the right words of my situation and all that was going through my mind. If I had to be honest with even myself, I couldn't quite seem to exactly figure out how to put it into words when actually having to tell it out loud. "It's just that I feel like my entire life's nothing but a mess." Looking down at my hands with a weak, forced laugh, I barely managed to say, "Even though it probably sounds really weird right about now."
Trent put an arm around me and pulled me in close as he let me rest my head on his shoulder. Even without having to look up at him, I could tell that he was rolling his eyes at me as he sighed heavily, "And have I ever given a damn about how stupid or ridiculous you sound? Now, talk to me, Crazy Cat Lady."
I gave him a shove as I made a face at him and a look between telling him to back and asking if he had finally lost all his marbles. "One, stop calling me that," I told him.
And before I could continue, Trent shot back, "One, back at you, you are crazy. And you can make some wicked cat noises. Real like at that. I'd say that's a Crazy Cat Lady material."
"Two, I hate you," I remarked.
Trent raised his brows as he responded almost immediately, "Two, no, you don't. And I think it's safe to say that even you know that you don't. You love me, and I love you, too. But, please. Do continue with what's bothering you."
"Three," I heavily sighed, "I honestly don't know what to do with myself. With the war." Waving my arms around, I wasn't sure what to say. However, it didn't take long before I went on, "With everything, Trent. I honestly don't know what I'm doing with myself." Straightening myself up as I pulled myself away from Trent, I stretched out my back for a bit before slouching with a heavy inward sigh. "My entire life, I grew up lying to myself that I was just a human. A mortal. And even though I knew that I was a warlock and kept on training as a Healer to get into an advanced Priest class, I always told myself I'm a mortal. All so I could keep my sanity in tact in a very odd way. Even though extremely strange, may not be for an odd ball like me, I guess. But that being asides to point, I really don't know what I'm doing with myself, Trent. I mean, I've put myself in such a mess in the mist of insanities. The insanities of this war. And I know that I have to finish what I started. But there's a part of me that doesn't."
I opened my mouth several times to continue, but no matter how hard I tried, no words came. How was I supposed to tell him that I wanted to end it all for me? As in that I wanted to just stop all of this in sense that I wanted out in this mess? Even if by the means of committing suicide? Trent was my best friend, and was deeming himself worthy when Tricia couldn't seem to just be there for me when I was in the moment of need. To Tricia, it was almost as if though it didn't matter to her, not even in by the slightest. Not even after the countless amount if times that I have been there for her.
"So," Trent quietly said, and his voice almost sounded saddened. "Where does that put all of this work that you've put in? The distance that you've come? I mean, I remember the very first night we spent together when the Survival competition started. We were up on that hill, looking up at the stars, and exchanging stories as if we're old pals. You told me that in course of the half a year that you spent in your first Survival game that you trained to become a Necromancer. Which level, uncertain, but from what I've seen, an intermediate to advanced at this point. But where does all that hard work go if you don't know what to do with yourself? But more importantly than your work, what about you? What are you trying to tell me, Zoey?"
I clutched my head as I quietly told him in confusion, "I don't know, Trent. I don't know where I see myself in all of this. I'm not even sure if I should even exist."
I jumped and nearly fell over from the desk with a startle at a loud bang between me and Trent. I hadn't even noticed his hand slamming down onto the desk before he began to shake a bit as his voice hissed, "What are you trying to say, Zoey? What are you trying to tell me right now? That you just may be better off dead? Better off gone?"
"Yeah, Trent," I whispered as tears began to sting my eyes. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, and if I couldn't at least look at my feet without having to tear up, it was better off that I had my eyes shut as tightly as I possibly could. Clutching onto the edge of the desk as tightly as my hands would allow me, I continued, "I don't know about living anymore. I killed my own sister because she turned against me. Or at least I think she did. I don't know. And Chris. Chris Suh did absolutely nothing wrong except trying to lend a hand. He actually cared, and all he was trying to do was help. But he got murdered by his own brother because Luke had a different idea of how this world should be. A completely opposing idea at that. I lost Michael because we couldn't arrive here in time. Tricia has her back turned against me because she thinks it's all my fault that even she got completely dragged into this hellhole. How many more people that I care about must die for this cause, Trent? Because I'm not sure if I can handle any more deaths for what I started. I'm not willing to lose you. Nor Tricia, even if she hates my guts. Nor do I want to have to lose Carlo. Yet, you guys are all in just great of a danger as the next person in line."
"Do you even hear yourself talking, Zoey?" Trent's voice yelled. Trembling. His voice was trembling, and so was he. He couldn't even seem to stop himself as he continued, "Have you even thought about the rest of us? How bad of a state you may end up leaving all of us in? Tricia obviously in her right state of mind if you two really have been leaning on one another as long as you have told me! Mueller died because of a lie fed to him as a scare tactic! And all he did was to try and help even our side! Suh knew he was putting himself in danger, but he was still willing to sacrifice his life for our sake! To try and help us gain our victory! That Carlo guy's counting on you as much as the next person, and he really cares about you! And so do I! Yet, all you can think about is wanting to commit suicide? Because all of this feels like your fault? How about the ripple effect of what you started? The hopes you gave? Don't you think if you killed yourself, it would have another ripple effect? Perhaps hope that will be forever taken away from the world? The path that's being paved coming to an abrupt stop, never to know where it will lead us all? What it would mean for the world?"
"I didn't make any difference in the world!" I screamed back at him as I felt tears falling down my cheeks. "And I sure as hell ain't gonna be making that much effect on the world just because I'm to take my own life!"
With slightly angered look, he huffed, "If you weren't a girl, I'd probably slap you across your face silly just about now. Look, Zoe. If you didn't matter, I don't think I'd be willing to hang out with you. Or even willing to talk to you. What you don't realize is that you do matter, alright? So why don't you get the thought like you're nothing out of that thick skull of yours?"
I stared at the one guy that I was actually able to call my brother, trying to figure out still exactly what made him tick. But no matter how much time has passed and no matter how much I've gotten to know him, let alone grown fond of Trent as a friend and as a brother figure, it just seemed near impossible to actually know what made the wheels in his head turn. What was it about me that made him care so much? No matter what he said nor how he phrased his words, there was a part of me that said I would never come to accept it.
"Fine," I heavily sighed as I looked towards the window. "Fine, Trent. If that's what'll get you off my back and going to make you happy, I won't go doing something foolish. But only under one condition. Just promise me one thing." When no response came, I quietly asked, "Are you going to promise or not?"
"Alright, alright!" he exclaimed. "What is it that you want from me?"
I hesitated about even just requesting such a ridiculous promise. But I wanted to know if Trent would have been willing. More so than I wanted to know, it was more so of the fact that I had to know. Turning my head over to him to look straight at him in the eyes with a serious look that was reflected even in my eyes, I asked, "Always stay by my side and fight with me. Always promise to watch my back just as I'll always watch yours."
Shoving my head away in a playful manner, Trent rolled his eyes with a heave of sigh. "Are you really that stupid that you actually had to ask? Look, Zoey. I'm not planning on leaving this operation any time soon, and I sure as hell as am not planning on leaving your side either. For all the times that Suarez fellow can't watch your back, somebody's gotta be there to catch you when you fall."
"As long as I know that I'll always have you to count on," I murmured as I rested on my head on his shoulder with a smile.
As the front door opened, Carlo's voice rang throughout the place, "Which halfer stopped by? Their scent's still lingering around."
"Zoey's cheating on you with me, m'good sire!" Trent called with a heavy fake British accent as he tried so hard to cover up his snicker.
With mix of outraged and amused look, I slapped Trent across his shoulder as I raised my head to look at him with gaped mouth that was a partial smile that seemed impossible to hide. "What the hell, Trent?" I exclaimed with an escaped laughter. When Carlo showed up around the corner and entered the room, I smiled brightly up at the vampire as I chimed, "Trent stopped by to talk for awhile." I soon furrowed my brows at him and I felt the corners of my lips fall into a deep frown. "Did you really tell him that we were here, Carlo? I thought you said you wouldn't tell anyone so I could have some time for myself without anyone trying to cheer me up."
Giving me a slightly sarcastic smile, Carlo replied, "And because you were keep refusing to smile when even I tried to cheer you up, I had to get someone in as a backup." With a slight frown and serious look in his eyes, Carlo gave a slight shrug and nodded over to Trent, adding, "And since you seemed real close to him, that half-blood friend of yours didn't seem like such a bad idea. And it also didn't help when he kept nagging at me for information on your location."
When I glared at Trent, his lips formed into a pout as he gave me a small shrug. "A guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do to get the girl he wants," Trent tried to say as innocently as he was able to bring himself to say.
Shoving him away, I cried, "Oh, shut up!" And it was just that which caused Trent to start laughing hysterically as I looked up at Carlo, saying, "But why did you have to tell him about where we used to stay isolated from others, though?"
"Because you needed someone other than me giving you a push," Carlo grunted. "And it was obvious to even me that you would refuse to listen to anyone that wasn't Trent. Just be thankful I didn't send a kid in to try and talk to you. Who knows what even Alex would have tried to say, or if he would even have accomplished anything." A frown of concern suddenly came over the vampire's face as he snapped his attention to Trent, questioning with concern in his voice, "You did convince her to actually get out and around more, right?"
"More like saved her neck," Trent grunted with roll of his eyes. "You practically live with her, but have no clue what so freaking ever that she's depressed and on the verge of suicide?" As I elbowed Trent in the side as harshly as I could, he got up on his feet as he cried, "What? You're going through depression! It's not like I would've known unless if I came charging over like I did to talk to you!" Leaning in to give me a hug with a bright smile, he whispered, "It was good seeing you again, though." Straightening up as Trent began to head for the front door, he raised a hand as a farewell and soon called over his shoulder, "Training tonight before another fight breaks loose?"
Rolling my eyes, I called back, "Bring me a mug of coffee, you got yourself a deal!" As I tried my hardest to avoid Carlo's eyes, I could feel his eyes boring into me, almost as if he were angry. And the very fact that I tried to avoid any sort of snappy remarks didn't help at all, and I supposed I made the tense atmosphere even worse when I got up and began to walk towards the kitchen entrance, saying, "I'm gonna go get some mint tea. You want some, too, Carlo?"
Carlo took a few quick strides forward after me and soon began to wak by my side. As we entered the kitchen together, he gave me a gently push towards the table, saying, "First off, go take a seat. I'll make a pot for the two of us." As I opened my mouth to argue, his eyes darted towards me as he snapped, "Now, Zoe. I don't want any protests, your hear? Just sit and relax for once. If we go under attack, I swear I won't argue about you joining in on the action."
With a huff, I did as told and, plopping myself down on a chair as I soon crossed my legs under my body, asked, "So? What exactly is it that you want to get out of me?"
"What it is, exactly, that's going through that head of yours that you trust Trent enough to tell but not me when we pretty much have lived under the same roof for a little over a year."
Carlo answered far too casually and way more calmly than I had expected. And it was is calmness that caused me to wonder what it exactly was that was going through even Carlo's mind at that very given moment. How was he able to hold himself together so well? Yet, gave off a faint vibe that he could, and possibly would, break at any given moment.
One thing, however, was certain – I couldn't seem to bring myself to tear my eyes away from his back as Carlo boiled a potof water before grabbing two cups out of a cabinet. I got back up on my feet to grab one of many boxes of teas that were far from it sexpiration dates that were left behind, asking, "Where do you want me to start, then?"
I placed the box on the counter and looked out the window as my mind began to zone out with my eyes kept out into the sea. Where and how I was supposed to start explaining myself to him was what concerned me the most. At the same time, no matter how I began to explain myself to Carlo wouldn't have matered. Not when I felt so comfortable with the man from his company to just talking on whatever topic that was brought up as a discussion.
I felt Carlo's body leaning into my back as he brought his hands over on top of mine and our his arms gently pushed up against my own. As he rested his chin on my shoulder, I turned my head to look at him as his concerned voice quietly said, "Just tell me what's bothering you, Zoey. It's going to bother me if I don't know if I'd be able to help or not. Even if it means just by listening. I want to help in any way possible."
I turned around to face him and almost immediately did I fell my face turning bright red as I leaned back against the counter, saying, "Look, Carlo. I don't tell you certain things because I've become far too comfortable with you. I need to know where to draw my lines. And even on things like what I should share with you in terms of stories seems nearly impossible to separate from personal to allowed for access between the two of us. I mean, for crying out loud! When we're on the battleifield, even those triplets that claim themselves to be of the Yukimura Convent and relatives of mine are asking if we're dating!"
"Then why don't you tell just tell them?" Carlo questioned as he raised his head to look at me.
Rolling my eyes, I sarcastically asked, "Which answer? The lie that we are in fact in a relationship? Or the truth that we're just living under the same roof and looking out for each other? Because I'm sure whichever response I give them isn't going to give much of pretty reactions, Carlo. And it's been a lot of people that's been asking, too." Ducking my way out from being cornered between his arms and the counter, I changed the subject with a sigh, "So. How's everything out there? When are you going to see me fit to go back out and fight?"
"With your attitude, majorly your behavior, probably never," Carlo began with the later question as he took his turn to lean on the counter when turning to keep his eyes on me with crossed arms. "And as for the war itself, we're cutting in pretty close. The major question is when are you going to be willing to talk to me? You have no problem talking to Gabriel."
Turning sharply to look at him with anger, I unintentionally snapped, "What's with both of you? You don't seem to fancy the idea that I can talk to Trent so easily because I can actually see him as a brother that Hogosha could never be for me! And Trent seems so suspicious about you because you're a vampire! Do you guys even realize how sick and tired I am of having to be middle ground of it all?" Closing my eyes as I took a deep breath in, I tried my hardest to calm down. It felt like an eternity before I was able to bring myself to say in a quiet voice, "Sorry. But there are just some things easier to tell him than it's easier to tell you. It's not as if having to talk to that guy about depression was the easiest thing on earth, Carlo. You have no idea how afraid I am to lose a friend like him."
I could feel Carlo's eyes burning into my skin and it felt as if the silence would never end when he had finally asked, "And why can't you talk to Tricia?"
"Because she hates my guts!" I exclaimed. I opened my eyes once moer to look at him and I felt pain wash up over my chest as I barely managed to bring myself to tell him, "Which brings us to the next topic, Carlo! When the bloody hell are you going to realize that she actually likes you?"
Carlo's brows furrowed as he huffed back, "I've realized that the moment I've met her. The day that we first met? When I was close to shooting you to your death over at your place? She had no heartbeat. The second she walked through and saw me, I could hear her heart slowly begin to beat. Now, whenever we run into each other, it goes from slow beats to a regular beating rate that a full blood human should have to a very fast rate, almost as if she's recently come around from a jog."
Heartbeat? She had no heartbeat before I opened the door the day I had first brought him into my home? How was that even possible? All had heartbeat. Even vampires. I mean, didn't they? Vampires were also of the living, after all. So why would something such as heartbeat matter at all?
Confusion must've been obvious, and it was that I was far too easy to read or Carlo read my mind because with a heavy sigh, he explained, "We vampires may have sharp sense of smell to detect exactly who is part of which race by smell of blood. And if a mix, between which races. But at the same time, when it comes to sense of hearing for heartbeat of one another, we've got sharp sense of hearing. It's the one thing that's a dead give away to whether or not a vampire is in love." When he saw the surprised look on my face, he let out a small lighthearted laughtered as he rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at his feet, continuing, "I supposed it's the one thing that we vampires can't hide from one another if we decide to tune into the sounds of our hearts. If they're pounding away, it means we like someone or we're in love itself. And it's one of the things that we as vampires are actually glad that those that aren't either full-blooded or half vampires can't hear our heartbeats the way we're able to hear theirs and everyone else's." As he looked up at me, he added, "Of course, that beating of the heart rule when starting to fall for someone applies to even halfers like that friend Tricia of yours. Halfers or pures for the vampire race, it's all the same. Our hearts beat like any other humans and warlocks up until age of 18. After that, it stops beating unless if in love."
"Does Tricia know about this?" I couldn't help but question.
With a shake of his head, Carlo replied, "Unless if the Schofield Caln side of her family told her of all the powers that vampires are able to possess, including hearing of the hearts, then no. She wouldn't."
With a heave of inward sigh, I quietly questioned, "So you've known that she's liked you for awhile now?" Carlo nodded in response, but no words came from him. Of course, it didn't take long for me to question, "Then why didn't you just tell her off? Tell her that you had no interest?"
"I was hoping she'd actually get the hint," Carlo simply stated with a sheepish shrug.
I couldn't help but get caught up in the words of how vampires' hearts functined in terms of beating and when it came to love. Love as in for another as for someone that cuold be seen as someone that could possibly have life be spent with until death. And when I realized that he had said that Tricia's heart wasn't beating until I had opened the door for her and she laid her eyes on him, I found myself lost deep in confusion.
With my brows furrowed as the words came rolling off my lips before I could even stop them, "Did she know that her heart wasn't beating? I mean, how would it be possible if not that Tricia didn't know that her own heart hadn't stopped beating? She's had plenty of years under her belt to realize at least that much. And she's been working in a freaking hospital ever since we've become of age! It'd be stupid of her if it had completely gone over her head!"
"Unless if she was far too into her work to even think about doing a checkup on her own health and such," Carlo replied. "I mean, if she's been far too consumed with her work, then it just may as well as be possible. Losing track of things like heart beats since it's not really somehting we tend to think about as living beings. And it's not something we're actually able to feel inside of us seeing it's not pounding out of our chests as though we've been running a marathon. Besides, in order to be able to hear the heartbeat of others, we have to focus. Tune into our senses. It takes a lot of training to tune in the way it takes a lot of training and practice with spells. I'm sure Necromancy didn't come easily to you at first. Not even Elementals. It's like that. Tricia hasn't been trained from the start to focus and channel in on her senses."
I thought for awhile before asking, "And the ones that are turned into one by a vampire through being bitten?" I couldn't help but wonder if it were the same as the ones born into the race, or still remained the same.
With a shrug, Carlo replied, "I honestly don't know. It really does depend from the newly created vampire to another. Or rather how much of a vampire they become. In other words, it all depends on how much of the vampire ways they allow to consume them."
I couldn't help but sigh inward heavly and just as I opened my lips to ask how more about vampires, to learn more so that my curiosity was cleared away as much as possible, a loud sound had boomed outside. Of all places to expect attacks, this was the last place that neither Carlo nor I ever though would undergo an attack. I rushed over to the bookshelf and snatched a new staff I had managed to carve up with a large ruby crystal that was once in Chris Suh's staff that one of his warlocks had found over at his place. It was pure luck to even get the jewel out of his old staff to make the new staff as good as an experienced old staff would be. At the very least, if this were an actual attack, then it would mean I had a chance to get all my anxieties out with a certain level of violence.
It was when I threw the windows open and began to step up onto the ledge that another loud booming sound roaring through the island. In rather alarmed voice, Carlo called, "Zoey!" but we had both known that it was too late.
I allowed my animal instincts to take over. I was still in the state of mind after all these months of isolation from interaction when not training or on the actual battlefield that I had to protect something or someone. Even when there was nothing and no one around to protect. And even if it were just Carlo and myself, knowing that there was a possibility that Trent was still on the island killed me on the inside. I couldn't allow anything to happen to Trent. Not when he was always there for me for the near past year more than Hogosha could ever have been there for me.
Using the earth elemental to get myself across to a large open field, making myself even a bigger target to my own kind, I roared, "Come out and fight like real warlocks, you filthy scumbags! Let's see how much gut you have facing me face to face!" In an instance, at least two dozen warlocks showed with the head of their staffs pointed straight for my head. Spinning mine around between my hands when getting myself into a fighting stance, I growled, "Let's dance."
The least I had expected was just under half of them to turn against their own allies and lend me, their opponent, a hand in fighting one of their own off. What I thought were those of the same side I was fighting against looked almost as if inside workers that Chris had left behind for me in case of running into trouble. Almost as if he had known from beyond the grave that this would happen once in a blue moon. And if truly was one of Chris's last works that he had left behind, I couldn't help but feel grateful towards the deceased man as I barely managed to get by fighting of three Elementalists coming at me once with fire, water, and lightening.
Through the rough fight that they were putting up, a familiar woman's voice roared, "All of you! Stop the fight immediately unless if you want a few dead in a blink of an eye! Both very important to both sides!"
The entire field came to a freeze before all heads turned to look at the speaker. In the warlock's grasps were two knives, one in each hand, and the blades were held to the necks of two people. Under one blade was Luke Suh. Under the other was Carlo. Least to say, Luke seemed rather too calm whereas Carlo looked as though he was between in panic and extremely pissed. But if either any of us that were in on the fight or either of them were to make any sudden movements, it would most likely have meant death for the two that were under the blade. However, what got me under far more panic than what Carlo must've felt as the fact that the very warlock to hold the blades up against the two necks was none nother than my own sister, Violet Yukimura, herself.
"Chris Suh was quite the brilliant man to leave behind several warlocks as insiders, but he sure wasn't smart about letting me in on any of his ideas!" Caroline snarled and, turning her head sharply at me, she yelled before I could say anything, "And you keep quiet for once, Zoey!" Looking around at the entire group, she roared, "If you value the lives of either of these two folks, then I suggest you lot stop fighting and leave this grounds alone! This land belonged to the Yukimura Convent originally before the Suh Convent took over, and I don't plan on my family's old grounds being destroyed over a war! And I'll be sure to take these two as my hostages until the end of it all to make sure no fights are broken over this place ever again as a reminder to everyone that this ground isn't just some wasteland that can afford bloodshed!"
Slowly raising my hands and cautiously taking steps towards her, I said, "Violet, let Carlo go. Even I know that it's not him that you want. It's me. Let him go and take me instead. Let's talk this out from one Yukimura to another."
"Drop your staff, kid," Caroline growled at me. "Drop the staff, or your precious partner pays for your foolish actions."
Anger began to boil up inside of me as I spun the staff a few times before I brought the head of it down in a violent manner from above my head to point it directly at her head. It didn't take much for me to growl back at her, "I've practiced Necromancy for quite some time. With it, accuracy on attacking and defending with the powers of all the Elementals. Let Carlo go and take me as your hostage instead, Violet Yukimura, or die in my hands. Let me remind you, dear sister, that I've already killed our sister Maria. If you keep all of these shenanigans up, I'm sure I won't regret bloodying my hands with your death."
"Oh, like you felt no regret when you killed Maria?" Caroline laughed like a maniac as she spat the question in my face.
I roared, "Don't you dare think I felt no remorese for her! I have to live with guilt and live with the nightmare of seeing her die before my eyes all over again! Not once, but twice! You have no idea how many times I would wake every night, Violet! Screaming in my sleep! All because I see all of you die every single freaking night! Mom and dad! You! Hogosha! Maria! I have to watch you die every time I fall asleep! I've had no one to comfort me all these years whenever I woke up screaming! It wasn't until Hogosha and Maria threw me into the damn games for first time last year that I had Carlo to be there for me! To tell me that I'm just having a nightmare and that everything'll be alright! And when I kill Maria after I thought she had betrayed me when she attempted to murder me after all these years of being alive in secret, she admits just as she takes her last breath that she had always believed in me and always will! It's at her deathbed that I find out she was trying to protect me in her own way! And I have to forever live with the guilt knowing I was the one to end her life without even realizing what she really was doing! But look at you! You're taking someone I care about as a hostage? To try and hurt me even further than I am now? And for what? To break me down even further? So that it'll make it easier for you to kill me? Actually suceed in something that Maria couldn't do herself in terms of my official and true death? Or are you doing all this so that you can regain the position that the Yukimura Convent truly deserves back? Is that the seat that you're after, Violet? So that you can be in the seat as the one to rule over all mankind? Because if it is, I'll be far more than glad to make you one of my number one enemies if it means equality of all!"
"Don't act like you actually cared about Maria!" Caroline screeched. "You never once cared about her, and that's the cold truth!"
"And don't act like you actually cared about me at all!" I screeched in return. "You guys were only concerned about keeping me alive under our parents' orders! Because mom and dad specifically asked that I survivie even if rest of the family fell, Violet! And since I know it's me that you want for the dead, let Carlo go and take me in his place, damn it!"
"Zoey! Don't!" Carlo pleaded as he began to raise his hand to pry Caroline's arm away, but she had only pressed up the blade against his neck as a warning. "It's not worth it!"
Without taking my eyes off Caroline's, the anger I felt towards her was still stacked up in my voice when I answered, "No. You're the brains and I'm sure as hell you can do a lot better in leading the group even without me. If she wants to bloody her hands, it shouldn't be with your blood. It should be her own flesh and blood."
Caroline studied my face, amost as if trying to figure out if I were being sincere or if I were being a fake just like the identity I've set up for myself eversince as a small child. I didn't know how long it took before she ended up growling, "Come slowly and I'll free him for you when close enough. Try and pull anything funny, and he dies. Understood?"
With my hands raised in the air as I held tightly onto my staff in one hand, Carlo yeled as I slowly approached the three, "Zoey! Don't! Don't do this! You're the one in charge of the warlocks! Chris Suh entrusted you with his military! You know I need every single person I can trust to lead the group to see to the end of it all!"
When I was just a few steps away, Caroline roughly pushed Carlo forward just as she grabbed me. It didn't take her long to wrap her arm around my neck and gently pressing up the blade up to my neck, and Luke began to laugh menacingly, saying, "You're far more than just screwed, Lady Zoey. Miss Rivers has completely lost it, and I'm sure as hell that you'll be the one to go down far long before I do in her hands."
"All of you," Caroline growled at all the warlocks gathered. "Leave the grounds right this instant. And make sure to keep any and all the fights off and completely away from the soils of this area, as well. The second I find out that fight is brought onto this land, I'll be sure to kill both of these two off."
Two by two, all the warlocks had teleported themselves away. Even then, they all had looks of doubts written all over their faces, almost as if they weren't sure whether or not if Luke and I would truly be killed off if anything were done. Some even had the thoughtful looks all over their face, as if trying to figure out how to get either one of us free from Caroline's threat.
And when it was finally down to just Carlo, he hurriedly said, "Why not just take me and let both of them go? Zoe's your sister, Caroline!"
"Do I look like I give a damn?" Caroline growled before she transported me and Luke to elsewhere with her. With all the spinning and turning in, I felt as though I would throw up at any given time.. In fact, my insides began to churn and had come all the way up to my throat when we had come to an abrupt halt.
Caroline roughly pushed Luke forward, causing him to crash into something a bit large. It was only then that I had realized that his hands were cuffed up behind his back and when he tried to straighten up, my vision began to clear up from the dizziness. And then and only then did I see that the room, or at least the desk he was thrown towards, seemed to be enchanted. It was almost as if those that were meant to be kept as a prisoner were kept like one when brought to a place like the higher up warlocks. Or even as far as a prison cell for any warlocks or mortals all alike to make sure the prisoner were to be kept under control from attacking the warlocks.
Before she turned me around roughly to head for the door, Caroline growled at Luke, "I made sure that this room is under a spell to keep you both from using spells like the culprits that you guys are meant to feel, so don't you dare think of trying to break out of here, Suh. More so since it's not just to keep your spells restraint, but also from moving around the room freely."
Once she shoved me out into the halls and closed the door behind us, I demanded, "Why aer you doing all this, Caroline? Why try and kill me when you know that'll only anger my side to cause up a bigger riot! More so against you than 'Prtoector'!"
"Who said I would kill you, you idiot?" Caroline snapped. "I only needed a reason to get you away to talk some sense into you, and taking that mortal was my best shot in getting you to sacrificing yourself." She led me into the room one over before she roughly pushed me towards one of the two chairs in the middle of the room just as she snatched my staff out of my hands. I quickly caught my balance by grabbing onto the chair before Caroline forced me to sit down just as she placed some sort of cuffs on my wrists that nearly covered up half my forearm. As she turned the other chair around to sit backwards on it in front of me, Caroline breathed out heavily through her nose as she said, "Now that I have you alone, let's talk one-on-one. I do believe we haven't done that in a long time." Thoughtfully, she added, "Or ever, rather, with you. Perhaps with Hogosha and Maria when our dear sister was still alive. But never with you. You were far
too young before you disappeared while the rest of us Yukimura siblings were forced to go into hiding with fake names."
Looking at her with extreme bitterness, I sourly remarked, "Oh, yes. Let's have our one-on-one conversation that has been delayed for far too long, Caroline."
"Before we do, explain something to me, Lowey Zoey. Why are you keep going back and forth between my real name and alias name? I mean, when we're alone, I'm sure you know that Violet's just fine," she sighed heavily as she ran her fingers through her hair. Shaking her head, Caroline quickly said, "Actually, for now, nevermind on that."
"Yeah," I agreed interrupted her. "Nevermind on that for the time being. There are a few things I need to and want to know." Caroline's eyes narrowed as she cautious looked at me and, as I leaned abck into my seat, I leaned back into my seat with a heavy sigh. Staring back at her with the same narrowed eyes, I asked, "First thing's first. That island where Carlo and I were staking out when we're not at on the battlefield, what exactly did you mean by that piece of land belonging to the Yukimura Convent?"
With roll of her eyes, Caroline grunted, "I meant just as it sounded. That rightfully, that piece of land belongs to our family. The Yukimura Convent. It was one piece of land where our family used to go into hiding whenever wanting to be left alone by pretty much any and all that seeked for help from us. Even extreme minor assistance that just seemed far too troublesome and could have been easily sorted even without help." She tried to find the right words before saying, "Uh, haven. Kind of like a safe haven. It was pretty much our family's hiding place."
"How come there weren't any pictures in the house if that's so?"
"Because our parents made sure before they went down that the secret went down with them if anything were to happen," she snapped impatiently. "It's not as if they woud have been willing to put us in danger if we were left without them."
At her words, I couldn't help but blink with slight confusion. "Wait," I said as bitterness and anger slipped away from me. "Our parents cleared the place out? Does that mean we've been there before as well?"
With a small nod, Caroline explained, "When you were five, we went there as our last family vacation. Was supposed to be first of many, but seeing our parents died that same year, guess it's far more than obvious that it was not the case." Taking out her necklace from under her silk robe to sow it to me, she asked, "You remember the recording on this that you and the others gave me as a birthday present, right? Tha'ts the place where the recording was taken."
That's when it clicked for me why she may have valued the necklace far moer than what I originally may have thought. It wasn't just the fact that it was one of the last presents given to Caroline by her own younger siblings. It was rather because it was one of the last few memories of happiness and joy as family that she had left. Physically as a gift and visually as a recording.
But why was it that I couldn't remember the trip?
Was it because I was far too young?
Or was it because I had suppressed the memory over the years?
Had I truly been to the island once before?
There were far many other questions that ran through my mind, but I had limited time to even find answers to them. Let alone limited time to even ask Caroline about anything. However, I did know one thing – I had to know if there truly were more Yukimura Convent members out there, scattered, all over the globe. Such as our so-called uncle that had escaped to Area 47, and the Yukimura triplets that I had met in my second round of the Survival competiton.
As I opened my mouth to ask at least one of my questions on our family, Caroline asked, "What's with that look on your face? The last time I saw that expression, it was on Hogosha's when I managed to sit him down to talk to him about Maria."
"Yukimura Convent," I replied. "I want to know more about our Convent."
Straightening up in her seat as she held tightly onto the back of her chair as she leaned forward into it, Caroline curiously raised a brow at me. "I'm listening, but I'll only be willing to answer if you have enough nerves to call me by my true name the way you did in front of those warlocks. After all, it took you a lot of nerves to do so even in front of Suh before I brought you two here when he doesn't believe that I'm the eldest of the four children after the countless amount of times I've told him to his face."
"You're such a strange one," I grunted. The last thing I wanted to do was have to call her by her true name, and I would have given anything to call Caroline anything but 'Violet'. And if it meant a chance of managing to ge tmyself out of it, I was going to do what I could to try and wiggle myself out of it. "What makes you think I'd want to call you by your true name? I only did so earlier out of panic that you would actually kill Carlo."
A curious look danced around in her eyes as the flames would flicker around on a lit candle as Caroline asked, "Why do you care so much for that guy? He's nothing more than a mere mortal."
I leaned forward a bit and abruptly spit in her face, growling, "A mere mortal? He's one of the many that our parents fought for and died for. For his and many other mortals' and vampires' rights. He's not some other vampire, Caroline. He's a living being just like us that deserves to have freedom. That deserves equal rights. The very same freedom and rights that our kind took away from the vampires and mortals milleniums ago."
She wiped away the spit with look of disgust before she abruptly took hold me by my collar to pick me up slightly. "You little brat!" Caroline angrily spat. "And by trying to get them back their rights, do you even realize what happened to our parents?"
"Yeah! They died!" I roared. "At least they died fighting for something that they believed in! Why die doing something you don't believe in when you know you'll only end up regretting in your death? Especially when you can die doing something that you know isn't right and only to ultimately regretting it in the end?"
Caroline looked shaken up even further as she hissed, "Do you really think that you'll actually succeed when our own parents failed?"
"You never know until you try," I growled as I bared my teeth at her. "At least I'm willing to put my life on the line for something that we both fully well know is right. For something even our parents knew was to be right." I stepped on her toes to force her to let me go and, just as she dropped me back in the seat with a yelp of pain, huffed with annoyance, "So, let's talk about our convent, shall we not, Caroline?" I could tell that with every passing word, she was getting more and more irritated with me. But it was because I was the youngest Yukimura of the four children that she didn't dare to raise a hand up against me. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath in through my nose and slowly let it out as I reopened my eyes to look as calmly as I possibly could muster straight into her eyes. "So, did we have an uncle on our dad's side? Or even cousins that are triplets?"
Caroline grunted, "Again, call me by my true name and I'll consider talking," but all too abruptly, she seemed absolutely confused. "Wait. Hold up. Triplets? Within Yukimura Convent? What are you talking about?"
"Christine, Kris, and Christopher Yukimura," I replied. "The triplets from over in Area 47 that were in the last Survival Among the Weakest. They came to see me, and I found out from them that there were Yukimura Convent members scattered all over the world. At least one Yukimura Convent family in each Area. I want to know more about our Convent. What haven't you and the others told me in the past? What has our parents kept hush hush from me? Why didn't any of you say anything? Was it because I was too young even before their death? Was it because I seemed too incompetent to keep quiet about something so big?"
With a groan and an apologetic look as she closed her eyes, Caroline replied, "Zoey, I'm sorry. For starters, I actually didn't know anything about our extended family being alive before you brought this up to me. I actually though that our family was the last to have actually survived. That we Yukimura children, meaning you, me, Hogosha and Maria, were the last to have survived." Looking at me seriously, she asked, "But you said you met them just this past game before the war broke out, right? If so, how can you trust what they tell you? How can you believe what they say about there being at least one Yukimura placed in each Area?"
"Because if they wanted me dead seeing they're warlocks and also seemed to be filled with hate," I replied, "they would have easily killed me since I was sick when they came looking for me. When they came to challenge me during my second Survival competition. And there's something about them that makes me trust them. And if they hear what you've done, meaning having taken me like a hostage in Carlo's place, I have no doubt that they'll do whatever they can to come for me. To take me back. To try and kill you if anything were to happen to me. If it were me and even I heard one of my family members were taken a hostage for fighting for equal rights of all, even I'd go after the one that took my family a hostage."
Caroline sighed heavily through her nose as she looked at me with a grave frown, asking, "Then why partner up with Chris Suh before he died? His family killed ours."
"And I killed Maria because I didn't know she was going against me on purpose to try and keep us from getting killed by Luke and his men. Yet, I don't see you wanting to seeking vengeance for that," I huffed angrily. "I may regret that, but I don't regret having partnered up with Chris Suh. He was an honest man, Caroline. An honest and honorable one. I may not believe what his brother Luke is doing to be something that's to be looked up to, but at least I know full well what Chris has done is something I'll always remain grateful towards him for."
"Ugh! You're impossible, Zoey! You know that?" Caroline cried.
With a smirk, I replied, "I may have figured that much out when hearing that I'm far too stubborn of an Elemental Necromancer and an advanced Priest in the two rounds of games I've taken part of.
"Yet, cocky just like your brother as well, apparently," Caroline grunted with irritation. Shaking her head with a heave of sigh, she remarked, "But how can you actually believe what they say? They may just as well as be lying to gain your trust."
"And, yet, they talked of dad as though they knew him fairly well," I shot back. "Called him their Uncle Jacob. Even went as far as telling me their class. A smart warlock would never tell their class to those that they would want to try and kill or betray all too easily. It would give the opposing side a greater advantage in finding out ways to kill the fool that told his or her class. Yet again, that just may be me. I wouldn't dare to tell what my class is so that I wouldn't give the opposing side ways to kill me off far too easily. If I do tell, it'll be to those that I would be getting into a fight right then and there."
"They told you what their class was?"
She seemed rather surprised that they would come and tel me over her. But I supposed seeing it was me that they seeked out for and entrusted me with the information of not just which line they were of but what their classes were, there weren't even much of a surprise. It only meant that they trusted me far more than anyone else in my intermediate family.
With a small shrug and a smirk, I questioned, "Why do you seem so astounded with the information? I mean, it's me that stood up to those that opposed our family? To the warlocks like our parents? It's only natural that they would come to me and tell me directly, Caroline. I mean, I'm the one that's standing up to those that are keeping the mortals and vampires, even as far as halfers, into suppression. I'm the one that's finally doing something in our family that our Convent has been trying to do for so long. We just didn't have the resources up until now. Not until those that I went into my first Survival competition with agreed to standing up to our kind with me. Until I had enough supporters gathered. And I'm sure if mother and father had the same chances as I did, there's no doubt in my mind that they would have done the same."
"And what makes you so sure that you will succeed in all of this?"
"I'm not," was all I could say. "I'm not sure. I'll never be sure. But that doesn't mean that I won't try. If not for me, then for our parents. And if not for our parents, then for the world. For all those that deserve it. For all the ancestors of those that are here today that got murdered for trying to stand up to our kind right then and there all those milleniums ago." Closing my eyes, I sighed heavily through my nose before I brought myself to ask, "So, what are you going to do about Suh? Luke has done horrid things. Making the Survivor champions feel like crap by making them return to the so-called games year after year for the entertainments of our kind. And you, Maria, and Hogosha had plenty of time to stand up against him within the government while working under him. Yet, seeing I'm the one that took the step towards the true civilization when you three lived in fear of doing anything, I don't get why you're threatening my enemies to kill Luke when you couldn't do that all these years. Couldn't do that past fifteen years before you calimed to have been searching for me only after I had entered my first competition."
"I'm considering on killing that fool off," Caroline replied in a nonchalant manner with a small shrug. "We Yukimura Convent need to claim back what is rightfully ours, which is the seat to being the world's Head."
Coldly glaring at her, I asked, "And the rights of the mortals and vampires? Will their full rights be returned to them for when and if you take the seat back?"
"Tempting," Caroline remarked with a raised brow. "Very tempting when taking mother and father's wishes for those to be seen as below us. But I may have to consider on what I should do in terms of equal rights with them once gaining the seat."
"And if Hogosha continues to remain on my side and try and aid me whether I continue to hate his guts or not for hiding away instead of actually searching for me actively," I huffed, "you'll have even him to fight in a face off, big sister."
With a disgruntled look on her face, she groaned, "Don't remind me. He's always been a stubborn one, and I'm sure that won't be changing any time soon. He's always had faith in you, and once he makes up his mind on something, especially on a view, it's always been difficult to change that stubborn mind of his. That shared view on equal rights among the mortals and us warlocks included, and I'm sure it won't change any time soon now that we know vampires are real, too." Getting up on her feet and taking a step back as she turned her chair back around to face me once more, Caroline let out a heavy sigh. "Well, you stay put. Not that I'd expect you to go anywhere since your magic's pretty much useless in this room as well. And with your hands cuffed up, I wouldn't really expect you to even be getting yourself anywhere."
As she left the room and closed the door behind her, leaving me all alone in the room, I growled under my breath, "Oh, I couldn't dream of being anywhere else than here as your damn prisoner, Violet."
I began to look around the room as my mind began to fill with curiosity, wondering if there actually something I had overlooked when brought into the room earlier. And then and only then did I notice that there were cameras placed in each corner of the room. Where exactly was I that cameras were needed? What exactly were the cameras needed for? And I saw no red light blinking from any of the cameras, but had they when Caroline was in the room talking to me? If so, how much of our conversation had the cameras recorded? Where had they transmitted to?
I began to make my assumptions on what may have happened when the wall flashed on like a television screen across the room from me. On the wall, I saw Luke with Caroline's back turned to me in an angled view from above them, and from the view of how the camera was angled, I guessed that it was from one of the coners of the room. Either the sound system was far greater than what I have ever seen or this place had amazing microphone equipments, because I could hear every word spoken all too clearly. Almost as if I was right there in the same room with them.
"So, why allow me to listen in on your conversation?" Luke spoke. "You know that I know that you're just lying about being a Yukimura to convince that girl. We both know that you're not Violet. My father personally made sure all the children died."
"Yet, he failed to find and kill a five year old child," Caroline's voice mocked. "Truth be told, I actually find that interesting. Why would he lie about having killed of the entire Yukimura Convent when no one could recover the sixth body? The body of a five year old girl?"
Luke laughed like a maniac as he asked, "Are you serious? Is this supposed to be some sort of interrogation? If so, you're failing big time, Miss Rivers, because I've recently been told that the day the Yukimura Convent all got driven down into the grounds, all the bodies have been recovered and counted for."
"They may have told you that either because they're afraid of you, or they don't want you knowing the truth. They may just want to cover up for your father's mistakes even after his death." Caroline's voice couldn't be any calmer when she replied, and it had become, to my surprise, even smoother as she added in a nonchalant manner as she looked at her nails, "Or perhaps they are trying to protect Zoey in their own way while gaining your trust to back stab you when you least expect it." I saw her leaning forward on the table, saying, "But I'll tell you one thing. I don't care which of those you believe in. What I do know is that you care about the fact that what she said about the Yukimura triplets being alive is going to be stuck in your heart. You're gonna want them dead. And I can help you. As I've told you countless of times, I'm a Yukimura and it's matter of time before those three come to me just the way they've approached my baby sister. Don't forget, we have something in common. A dead sibling killed by their own family member. You killed your brother just below you, and Zoey her own sister just above her. I can help you bring them down and keep the mortals under control. As long as you let me rule by your side and let me keep the vampires under control."
"Violet, you bitch!" I screeched as Luke remarked, "You honestly believe I'll trust you? I know you want me gone so that you may rule."
Caroline leaned back into her seat as Luke remarked, "And how would that filthy warlock take it if she were to find out that you were double crossing her?"
"She'll hear of it directly from me that I'll be working as a double agent sooner than you'd think, Suh, so don't think that I'll be double crossing anyone," Caroline snorted. "Of course I'd want you dead no matter what. But I also don't want to return full rights back to the mortals. And with her seeming to have gone a little looney with thinking that vampires exist? I can't allow her to run loose with no end in sight."
With a smirk on his face, Luke questioned, "And you actually expect me to believe that you would actually be willing to help someone like me? Especially when you claim to be of the Yukimura Convent, which you are still yet to prove to me tha tyou are?"
"Don't worry about me proving it to you for the time being, Suh," Caroline grunted as she got up on her feet. "I'll find a way to do so in matter of time." When she had snapped her fingers, there was a blinding flash of light coming from Luke for a few moments and once the light had disappeared, Caroline chimed, "Now, don't think of asking for others to return your powers to you. I'll make sure it's far more than you that pays for it if others even attempt to return your sorcery power back before I do. And believe me, Suh. I have ways of finding out. I have eyes everywhere. Even in places where you'd least expect. Are we clear?" When Luke didn't answer as he turned his head away, a shiver ran down my neck and down my spine not too long after as Caroline eerily chimed, "Good. Now, you may be on your way. We'll stay in touch, Lord Luke." She released Luke of his cuffs before sending him away. Turning on her heels to face the camera that showed the entire happening, Caroline pointed straight at the lens, purring with a sly smile, "Just wait, Lowey Zoey. With me as the double agent, I'm sure we'll be able to work something out. But it won't be a guarantee that I'll be helping you and your buddy out with returning this world to the place it was before our kind took over."
Without warning, the cuffs around my own wrists were released from my arms and I was sent flying into a spinning portal. My insides began to churn like there was no tomorrow, and I felt as if all that had consumed past week or two would come right back up. Above all else, everything around me began to become far too unsteady. And when everything still seemed to be turning, I felt a pair of hands on grabbing hold of me by the shoulders as Carlo's voice asked in a bit of a panic, "Zoey? Are you alright? What did she do to you? What did she say?"
I pushed past him and stumbled across the green field and towards the door as my hands flew over to my mouth, barely managing to say, "I think I'm gonna hurl."
I had barely managed to make it to the bathroom and hovering over the toilet before I felt a hand thumping on my back as I felt a few scraps of food attempting to make their way up from the chest. With the soothing thumps on the back, Carlo's voice asked, "Zoe, what happened? And since when were you able to use the power of the Teleportation Class warlocks? I thought you only trained for Elementals and Necromancy while keeping up with your Healer Class to make sure you didn't get rusty in your original area of studies."
"Don't think I haven't figured that, genius," I sarcastically replied as I tried my best not to hurl all the while trying to keep my insides in tact. Clutching onto my chest as I straightened up, I told him, "I think Violet had the place enchanted. Or at least certain rooms throughout the building and the cuffs she put me and that Suh in. Almost as if designed to keep the prisoners or those under question in control. Namely if trying to use spells to try and escape."
With look of confusion clouding his face, he asked, "Then how did you escape? You couldn't have run, and you didn't even have one of a Teleportation Class with you."
I couldn't help but shake my head with uncertainty in response.
How was I supposed to explain myself?
How was I supposed to give an answer to a question even I didn't know the answer to?
What had happened and how did Caroline even used a different tpe of spell that I was certain she wasn't a fully trained warlock for on me from a different location?
More so, was she serious about working as a double agent?
And did she truly want to keep vampires and mortals under her own control and demand?
Trying to clear my head as I tried to push my way past him, I informed him, "Honestly spkeaing, I don't even know what sort of Special Violet is any more. All I know is that she seems to have mastered some sort of rare class to use a various types of specialized classes, like Teleportation, from different rooms. My best guess is that it's limited to the same general vacinity of location that the spell can be casted to take efect on others."
"She didn't do anything to you, though, did she?"
Concern was written all over his face, and I could have easily scolded him not to worry his pretty little head. At the same time, I supposed it was partially my fault due to the fact that I chose to take his place just to make sure he didn't get harmed. To make sure that if anyone that I cared for was to get harmed, I would preferred to have it be me over them.
"Don't worry, Carlo," I mumbled with a small sigh. "She didn't do anything. Just wanted to talk."
A part of me wanted to keep quiet from him on what Caroline said. And that part of me was the part that wanted to call Caroline my enemy and mine alone. If I had to, I would have take her down personally.
But the side of me that screamed that she was still my sister, careless of her intentions, was begging to tell Carlo what I heard. The conversation between Caroline and Luke. But how was I supposed to bring myself to tell him that my own family member was out to get the equal rights to that rightfully belonged to him and all those of his kind and those not like us? The mortals?
After all, this entire time, even I had thought and grew up to believe my family all died for their rights. Only to find out now that Caroline may not even have wanted that all along? Or was she just trying to throw me off track the way Maria had to protect me in her own way?
"What's going through that head of yours?"
Carlo's voice soon brought me out from deep thoughts, and back to what I had to deal with the now. More so than anything else, there was something that I really wanted to do now that I began to recall the one thing that stood out to me the most just before Caroline took us away:
This island was rightfully the property of the Yukimura Convent.
With the island also came the house, meaning this place must also be the private property of my family.
Soon taking off quickly to take a full and proper look around the house, I replied, "This place and all that it may hold."
As I started banging on the walls while walking hurriedly through the halls, Carlo didn't seem to know what to do with himself as he followed me. His voice was full of confusion as he exclaimed from not too far behind me, "What's wrong? You had so many opportunities past few months! Is there something wrong with the house? That Rivers woman did something to this place, didn't she? Or is there something that Suh did?"
"It's nothing like that!" I snapped at him unintentionally. "It's what this place is about! What this place holds! All this place can actually tell me if there are things that are hidden away!" I sharply turned right at the end of the hall as I muttered under my breath, "There has got to be a door to the basement or stairs to second floor and even as far as up to the attic somewhere around here."
I could hear Carlo's footsteps continuing to echo behind me as he tried to keep up with my steps. And for every turns I made, it made his footsteps quicken and back to the same steady beat as before the turn. And for every door I passed that I had opened and closed, I could sense confusion coming off of him. It was almost as if he didn't know whether to keep quiet or just go on with asking exactly what it was that I was looking for. Of course, surprise was what replaced his confusion when I finally turned the only corner left in the large hallway, and that turn soon came to a short hall with one large door that seemed far too ancient. Far too rusty in the metals. And just the design of the wooden door that seemed to appear only in castles of the fairy tale stories written for children seemed to call out to me. Practically pleading for me to open the door and enter to see what it held.
As I stood just a few feet away from the ancient door, Carlo's footsteps stopped behind me and I could hear his heaving breathing, almost as if he was tired from trying to keep up with me. Yet again, even I was slightly out of breath from hurrying through the place, and it was then and only then that I realized how big this place really was. Carlo was saying something from behind, but as I slowly approached the door, I couldn't hear anything other than my own footsteps. I couldn't bring myself to draw my focus away from the rusted steel on the door and what could at this point easily have been a fragile wooden door that could easily break upon just one simple, light touch.
Upon reaching the door, I slowly stretched my hand out and barely managed to bring myself to try and turn the knob. And just when I thought I could push the door open, what I was greeted with was a locked door and no key in sight to unlock it. I soon found myself searching all the pockets on my own person to find a hairpin, or any sort of pin that I could have used for that matter, and tried to search for the key hole. But when I finally found a pin and bent it, soon inserting it into the keyhole once I found a mark on the door, my hands went frantic to try and unlock the door.
It was then and only then that I finally heard Carlo's voice asking, "What on earth are you doing? You go through the house, or at least just one floor of it, and we suddenly come to a stop over a door? And old door?"
I didn't answer as I struggled to unlock the door, but when I felt as though I was close to unlocking it, I replied in a mumble, "There's something about this door that's calling out to me right now. I need to know what's behind it." When I finally heard a click, I began to rattle the door a bit in hopes of managing to finally open it, saying, "It just bugs me to know this place once belonged to my Convent, but never knew until today that we had a secret getaway."
As I fiddled around with the hairpin a little longer, Carlo sighed, "You know that may sound a bit crazy to others if there were others actually around, right?"
"And I've always had a bit of insanity in eyes of others even before we met," I remarked. Just then, I heard another click from the lock and when I turned the knob while pulling on the door. Of course, it had refused to move, but with a bit of struggle and after using all the strength I could muster up, it barely began to move with all the rust on the hinges. Straightening up as an unexplainable broad smile came across my face, I yanked harder on the door and I felt my heart pick up pace.
Once I began to enter as I flickered my right wrist back, Carlo asked when seeing a little bit of flame appearing just over my open palm, "Zoey! We don't even know what's in there!"
"And I'm afraid of the dark," I retorted back, "but I'm not going to let that keep me from finding out what my family has kept hush hush from the world before their death! I have to know my family's background, Carlo. Even if it kills me." As I placed my free hand on the wall and slowly began to walk through the place with my hand guiding me along the walls in the dark with barely any light coming from the flames. With it, my feet helped and guided me to make sure I didn't trip over either myself or anything that may have lied around the ground. Over my shoulder, I called excitedly, "You coming?"
I don't know how far I was in, but it didn't take long for Carlo's voice to echo, "Why do I even try to stop her?"
I strengthened the flame as I asked, "Why do you bother? I want to explore, and if I really want something, I'll go after it. Now, help me find a light switch. I haven't exactly timed the duration of being able to hold a large flame in my hand."
I caught glimpses of small portions of the room from the light the flames gave off, and from what I could make out, there were books of some sort and some old pictures in a few picture frames. I raised my hand with the flame above my head to try and search the switch from above, but found nothing but lightbulbs. As I brought the flames down to my eye level, I jumped with a startle at the sight of a deeply frowning face staring straight at me. Of course, it didn't take long to get it registered into my mind that it was an old oil painting on some sort of a canvas. Soon, I found myself moving on as I tried to find my way around with just my feet to guide me around the floor.
As I tried to look around in the dark still all the while trying to find a switch, the lights came on without a warning. I covered my eyes rather quickly to try and adjust to what felt like an abrupt brightness, and I heard Carlo's voice saying, "Now we can get a better look around the place if you're really that desperate."
My eyes slowly began to adjust to the light and we both found ourselves taking a careful look around the room. What I was truly drawn to was a corner of books that were piled on top of one another and, unconsciously, I muttered, "So many books among all the pants and pictures. Why? Why all the junk in this room?"
"Did you say something?" Carlo asked from across the room as he looked around the place himself.
"Huh?" I looked over to him for a short brief moment before turning my attention back to the ridiculous large pile of books, lying, "No. Nothing. I said nothing."
I ran my fingertips across few of the bindings before stopping on one and carefully took it out. I cautiously flipped through the pages, ever so carefully so that no pages were to be ripped in any way, and found what seemed to be a story of some sort. If not a story, then a log or a journal of some kind from years ago. Defiantly far long before I was born, and most likely before the control of the warlocks had even happened.
Towards the end, I came to a stop to read one of the entries. And as my eyes scanned the page, the page read:
'I don't know how long it has been. Each clan holds different powers, and my clan? We're the descendants of Edelweiss, and as the descendant from that specific clan, specially selected in each generation is able to use the ability to travel back and forth between two different worlds. Parellel worlds, if you will, and I'm one of the special exceptions. No one in this world will believe me that there's another world out there, though. But who would? My fault for having to decide that I was going to leave the other world for this. I didn't even get to finish school there, but it wouldn't have been such a cake walk there. It's not exactly a walk through the park in this world alone. But my entire family's been murdered by the Suh Clan. Or Suh Convent, I should really say, seeing this world uses the term 'convent' more so than the term 'clan'.
'Which actually brings me to realize one major difference between the two worlds. In the other world I used to live in, where I assume my entire family is still alive and well, vampires exist. And when I had announced to extremely few selected that I would be leaving that world behind for this to explore a new world that no Edelweiss has seen before, a member of the Crocus Clan saw something that made her go pale to the bones. They had the most horrified look any warlock and vampire must have ever seen. They told me that the new world will be a terrifying place and that if I choose to live in this world, I had better choose someone by the name of Yukimura. It'll be those of my bloodline in the name of a Yukimura that will eventually come to save the humanity and bring back the right back into the world.
'However, like in the past as it has always been, it'll be someone of the last born in each generation that will have higher chances in succeeding the human kind. But who will the last born be and from which generation will they come from? Even I can't say, but what I do know is that the one who will succeed with be a girl. She will be betrayed by many, but those that she comes to trust the most will more likely than not prove themselves worthy of her trust. There will even be those that are of a lineage that are strongly against her family who will support them, and she will feel grief over losing them to her enemies' hands.
'Of course, this chosen warlock will also have to bloody her own hands with the blood of those of her own flesh and blood. And it won't be until she kills off either two of her own siblings, or all if she finds it fit, that warlock will begin to fully unravel her fate. Whether this sorcerer dies for the sake of equal rights or if they will actually get to live the day of success and the fruits bore from the hard labor is unclear. For every rightful hero, there always seems to be two different endings for them. But I fear for my life. I need to make sure that I survive this war so that I have the chance of allowing the prophecy proving to be true is one step closer to being true.
'Will there truly be peace among the world again? Or is the equal rights of all races cease to exist forever? I supposed I won't truly know. But for now, what I do know is that I have to live in secret. I need to lead a life of a normal human. Mortals, did they call it? Yeah. A mortal. I'll blend in and tell only extremely few that I know I can trust. Those who prove themselves worthy to me. Until then, I need to figure out exactly what my new Class will be in terms of sorcery. So many to choose from. Yet, I don't even know which to go with. Perhaps I'll try them all and attempt to master as many as I can. I'll become what they call a Special. Perhaps I'm being foolish, but at least it's better to try in secret than never to try at all. It's the only way I can make sure that all those come after me will have greater chance in learning any and all Classes that they may have interest in.
'I just wish that I could go and see some of the so-called mythical creatures that are actually real back in the other world where I come from. At least having to see Arachnia will bring me to comfort, even if she's a fearsome spideress. At least she had the wisdom to confirm the lies and the truths told by nearly anyone. I want to know if what I've been told about future is true or the false. But I supposed it's too late for that now. I should have chosen the other world, but the part of me that says I made the right decision by coming to this world and staying here tells me that this will be the best and the worst decision I will ever make. I'll have best of both worlds in terms of the best and the bad, and when I meet Death, at least I will see if what I chose was truly right.'
Even after I was done reading the entry, I couldn't help but stare at one specific line. Well, a few sentences would have been more precise. One was that there was more than one world in existence. Almost like parallel universes. And if that were true, wherever this person had come from, the prediction that they were given that the world of equal rights disappearing certainly had become a reality. And if the Yukimura Convent truly was the Convent to hold the chosen warlock to have a strong chance in saving this world, then I sure as hell hoped that it weren't me.
However, what did bother me terribly was the fact that this journal entry, if that's what I had read was, stated that the youngest member of each generation would be in greater chance of either dying for the cause or bringing back justice. And along the way, they would have to kill at least two of their siblings, if not all, along the way. Be betrayed by those they trust most, as well as lose the ones that they come to trust the strongest. So far, I had killed one of my sisters and I was having an internal conflict on whether it would be right for me to go ahead and kill my eldest sister Caroline. Or Violet, rather, if going by her proper name. And as for Hogosha, there was no doubt in mind that I would never kill him. So if I were to bring myself to kill Caroline, then it meant I was in higher chance of making it that I was fulfilling the destiny as the youngest Yukimura of the current generation.
All at the same time, there was a part of me that didn't believe in any of what was written in this. After all, who knew how old this even was. And who knew if this were written by some person that wanted to be an author. But what did make me have doubts that it were some sort of manuscript for a bookw as the pure fact that it was all written by hand. And the fact that if this were all written down as a journal entry, all as the truth of what was yet to come, brought chills down my spine and goosebumps all over my body.
And I supposed that the journal alone being troubling was apparent, because while there were still trains of thoughts and questions of what was true and what were lies ran through my mind, Carlo asked, "Zoey, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."
Closing the book, I breathed a lie, "It's nothing to be worried about."
I ran my fingertips along the cover of book that seemed to be ready to be dangled at any given moment, I debated on whether I should tell Carlo or not on what I had just read. About the prophecy, if what had been written were true, that told of my family. And even though I knew full well that it may not even have been about me, just the simple fact that it was a possibility scared the living daylights out of me. And I didn't need another person telling me that once they hear of this, or even read the same passage, they believe that it's about me as well. At the same time, I wanted to be told that it was all up in my head. That this was just something written for a simple pleasure. For a simple laughter. And that it were all nothing but a complete joke.
When I saw his hand starting to reach for the book to take a look, I instinctively drew the book close to my chest with a bit of fear suddenly rushing through my body. "Don't," I quietly breathed.
If there were other entries that could have said anything about my family, I didn't want him to know. If this were all true, I didn't need him to think that my family had been full of crazy and possibly mentally insane warlocks. It was bad enough that I seemed crazy enough to go after something that seemed nearly impossible to take hold of. Yet, as much as I was afraid of any of the passages, even the one I had seen, being read by Carlo, I wanted to hand the book over. And it didn't matter to me if it meant that I would only be handing it over for some comfort. All I wanted was for someone else to know. But it was the part of me that was afraid that I would be shunned away that was forcing me into pushing others away as I always have by finding reasons to put up walls higher and higher. All the while making new ones to keep myself in even further isolation from the world just so I wouldn't get hurt by others.
Carlo held out his hand as he softly requested, "Can I just look through it, Zoe? I haven't given you any reason not to trust me. If I have, it's only that day when we first met when I aimed that gun at you, and you have no idea how sorry I still am for that."
After a slight hesitation, I carefully looked through the pages to find the one that I read. "Don't know if you'd actually even want to look through this," I told him. "I mean, even I don't know if this is just a manuscript written by hand from milleniums ago or not before the war over control or peace over the world broke out. And if it's an actual journal, it's written by one of my ancestors. Not sure how old they were, but by the looks of the handwriting, I'd say preteens or early teen years."
With a heavy inward sigh, Carlo reassuringly said, "Just let me see it. It can't be that bad, and I'm sure it's nothing to even worry over."
Once I found the page and handed it to him, Carlo took a few minutes to himself to read it. But with the amount of time that he took, or at least felt that he took, he was reading it over and over again. Almost as if he was trying to get it registered into his mind, and it wasn't long before I began to feel uneasy to the point of exclaiming, "Say something, won't you? The silence is killing me!"
"Well," Carlo began to say, but came to a stop as look of uncertainty came across his face that normally held calm, thoughtful, and neutral expressions. The longer he dragged on with his thoughts, the more I felt all my insides church and my stomach tying into a knot. As Carlo finally recomposed himself, he finally spoke again after what felt like an eternity of silence, "Well, it's defiantly an interesting read."
"An interesting read?" I repeated questioningly with a raised brow. "That's all you have to say? That it's an interesting read? Carlo! I don't even know what to make out of this entry! I mean, it's about my family! For all I know, it's about me! I already killed Maria! Now feeling with nothing but full of regret now that I finally know what her full intentions were! And I'm on the verge of deciding whether or not on if I should kill Caroline! I'd be lucky if I don't have to kill Hogosha! And I've already lost Chris Suh because of his brother murdering him, right in front of my eyes at that, and I don't know how many more people close to me have to lose their lives for our plan to even become successful! If I'm meant to be the one to save this world at all at that!"
Carlo looked up at me as he groaned, "Zoe, you're overthinking this! This entry may not even be about you!"
"But what if it is?" I asked, and I couldn't help but feel terrified at just the idea of it. "You really don't think I can't help but wonder if it's all but pure coincidence, can you? A Yukimura. Killing her own siblings and bloodying her own hands, which I actually have done. The Suh Convent are originally against my family, but Chris was willing to stand against his own family to support me and the beliefs that the Yukimura Convent originally holds."
With a heave of sigh, Carlo questioned, "And what are you going to tell me next? That your father's also the last born among his siblings in his own set of generation of Yukimura?"
I opened my mouth to answer, but it was only then that I realized I actually had no idea. I knew he had at least one brother, but I didn't know if my own father was the youngest among his own set of the Yukimura siblings.
Nodding slightly almost as if he took my silence as an answer, Carlo said, "Do me a favor and try not to think too much on this."
"A little too late to tell me that, don't you think?" I asked with partial sarcasm drenching in my voice. "I'm already freaking out over it, Carlo. I mean, think about it. This place belongs to my Convent rightfully. And I didn't even know, let alone remember, being here at least once before. Who knows whatelse there may be that I don't know about when it comes to my own family."
I turned on my heel back to the pile of books and began to carefully rummage through a few more before Carlo could begin to answer. Before he could even say anything to argue back. When I came across one that seemed fairly new compared to the others, I picked it up and began to scan through the passages. When I stopped at one at the near center of the journal, one entry read:
'Honestly, Jacob and I can't say how long we can keep the children safe. From the world. From those that are after our heads. And even if we can't keep danger away for long, we just hope and pray that they will all survive.
'For years, stories have been passed on that the last born of each generation will have greater chance in saving this world. That is, if successful. I'm not entirely sure if I even want to believe Jacob's family, but if they truly do speak of the truth, then I married myself into the hands of fate, because Jacob is the last born of his family, just like his father. I can keep going by continuing onto saying like Jacob's grandfather and great-grandfather, and so on and so forth, but I supposed there's really no need.
'Now, if it's all true, then the one who has a chance at anything in bringing peace back is Zoey. And if Zoey's not the chosen one, then it'll be someone of her bloodline. That is if she's the last child Jacob and I will come to even bear. I just hope that I get to live to see the day to see her fully grown and able to grasp understanding of everything so that she would come to understand how important she is. And if Jacob nor I are able to see the day of it, I just hope her sisters and brother are enough to protect her and keep her alive to the ends of it. I love them all so much, but in this family, Zoey is the one that's most valued member that we have if it means for the sake of peace of this world. It's because Jacob loves Maria a little too much, I supposed, that I don't want to tell that stubborn man that Maria wasn't meant to be. She's not the one that had the glint in her eyes that says she's the one to bring peace to the world. Which is why I had to try once more, and I'm so glad that I did, because Zoey has that one thing that Maria doesn't have.
'Something about Zoey tells me that she's the one to have enough courage to face the wrongs and fight for the rights. There's just something about her that screams out to me that she's special. And if her siblings stays by her side to the end and stick to what all the members of the Gilbert and Yukimura Convents have always stood up to believe.
'Here comes Jacob with the kids. I supposed it's time to tuck the children into the bed. I just hope that this won't be the last time I'll have to do this. I really want to be there for them for as long as I possibly can.'
That was the end of it, and the end of the journal. And once I had checked the date, it was then that I knew it was the last one she had ever written for it was dated as the week before the massacre. I felt my eyes beginning to sting, and I couldn't even explain to why. My vision had even begun to blur as I began to feel something wet and small, almost like a small drop of rain, trickle down my cheek.
"Zoey?" Carlo's voice softly penetrated my ears before I saw his hand slowly moving across towards the book and took hold of it. Slowly but surely taking it out of my grasps, he slowly said, "Could I read it?"
Through the warm tears, I unintentionally screeched, "Just take it, why don't you?" I soon covered my mouth and stumbled backwards as I continued on with screaming, "Just take all of it and just burn it! Dad didn't have faith in his own child and favored only Maria, who I actually had to kill and I'm sure as hell he would hate me for it if he were alive! Mom had too much faith in me when alive, and she's practically expecting from beyond the grave for me to help save this damn world! To top it all off, I want to kill my only remaining sister, and I don't even know if my own brother is on my side or the opposing! And the part of me that doesn't want to kill Violet is screaming at me to turn my back against the family's beliefs, which is to stick by the side of your kind and the mortals! To turn my back on the humanity and lead the way the Suh Convent has been for centuries! Like merciless dictators that they have been!"
Carlo immediately placed the book down on the ground before taking a hold of me by the shoulders as firmly while making sure he wasn't hurting me. Bending down slightly to look at me in the eyes to the best of his abilities, he told me as calmly as possible, "Zoe, take deep breaths and try to calm down. Freaking out isn't going to help you out with anything, and overloading yourself with all the information that you didn't expect isn't going to help at all. Especially when you're trying to push yourself to try and take a bigger bight than what you can handle. You hear me?"
"You really expect me to keep calm when my mom wrote a damn entry saying she expects me to do hold up to what we started with this entire war?" I screamed. "My dad didn't have faith in me! I'm sure as hell he hates my guts from beyond the grave for killing off his favorite daughter! I have a mother that expects me to actually succeed! And that entry that I read? The first one? That's apparently true! I just never been told of it as a child, and my siblings all fled and left me to pretty much die instead of trying to tell me what our parents never had the chance to! And the only reason that my parents have ordered my sisters and brother to keep me alive is because I'm the one that has the greatest chance in succeeding of saving this damn world! If not me, then those of my bloodlines if I'm to ever get married and have kids!"
Carlo took firm hold of my by the shoulders, saying, "C'mon. Try and calm down, Zoe." I tried to pry myself free from his grip, which only caused him to hold onto me even tighter before pulling me into an embrace. When I stiffened up in his arms with wide eyes, he murmured into my ear, "Please, Zoe. Try and keep calm. As much as it bothers me to see you like this, you know as well as I do others may end up taking it far more harshly if they were to know you're set off in a panic."
I tried to clear my mind, and the more I made an attempt, the more impossible of a task it seemed to become. Half closing my eyes as I slowly eased into his arms, I quietly asked after what seemed like an eternity passing us by, "Carlo, can I ask you a question?"
"You just did," he joked, but his voice immediately turned serious when he followed it up with, "What is it?"
I ran it through my head over and over, and no matter how I phrased it in my mind, it just seemed to sound so cold and cruel. Like nothing that I had believed in and was fighting for all this time. But the fact that I was beginning to question myself as a warlock, I was beginning to question my true purpose in the world. And having had met various people of my race and seeing their nature and ways of things, I began to wonder which direction was truly the best way to go.
No matter how long I stayed silent to gather my thoughts, Carlo was patiently waiting for me to speak up. And when I did, there was no doubt in my mind that he was surprised.
"Would you still trust me and have faith if I were to turn my back on you all?"
"What?" he breathed as look of extreme confusion came across his face when leaning back.
"Would you still trust me and have faith if I were to turn my back on you all?" I repeated. "On everything that we've been fighting for? Would you still have faith in me enough to let me do what I feel is right?"
Carlo thought for awhile, and I knew I had put him in a spot. It was the last thing that I even wished to do, but what choice did I have if it meant I had to make a step forward? If it had meant that I had try and figure out the next step in plans for myself. But to see struggle glistening in his eyes was just killing me on the inside with knowing that I was forcing him to choose to either let me go completely or continue to believe in me. It didn't matter on whether I made a choice no matter how good or horrid it would be when it came to the equal rights – I just had to know if he would continue to have faith in someone like me.
"I don't know," he told me honestly and a look of uncertainy came washing over into his eyes. "That's not really something I can say right now if you want the truth. Why? You're not planning on doing anything rash, are you?"
I ducked and went past him under his arm and replied in a hushed tone, "Truth be told, I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna do or what I even want." I felt his hand on my shoulder once more and, without giving it even a second thought, I had winced away and out of his reach. "Can we just get back onto the battlefield? I want to get my mind off everything."
"You want to get yourself completely back into fighting," Carlo repeated questioningly.
Turning around to face him with arms crossed and a brow raised, I asked, "Or would you prefer a sneak attack at night? Because I honestly could go either way as long as I can claim my sister's head all for myself. After all, it's her and Luke Suh that are my main targets now, and the two lives of the two that I want the most for myself."
"Either way can get you into high risk of getting killed with the state of mind that you're thinking in," he shot back, but it was apparent that even he knew I didn't want to hear another word of it. Carlo and I stood there, exchanging looks as if to expect the other to move. One thing for sure, I wasn't gonna budge from my place, but I think he already knew that because after what felt like forever, he heaved a sigh, saying, "Fine. Let's do it at nightfall when the opposing side is more vulnerable and too tired to fight at full strength. And more vampires to help you out in terms of defense, and at least half the warlocks put on the night shift all the while half the mortals that are long range fighters are in the night shift as well. It should be a little more than enough to keep your back covered if you Suh and your sister are in the wide open and you want to go straight for their heads."
I threw my hands up in the air, exclaiming, "Sneak attack? That's what you're seriously going to give me? A sneak attack?"
"Well, did you think I would allow you to head into the battle with how your head is screwed on right now?" Carlo shot back. "With practically thirsting for blood on your hands like some maniac?"
"Actually, yes! Yes, I was!" I cried. "I want to get all my frustrations out, Carlo, and if it means by killing off as many of our enemies as possible, then I'll gladly do it! I have to clear my head somehow, and at this very given moment, throwing myself into a dangerous situation seems like the best way to go!"
With a deep heave of inward sigh, Carlo walked past me and, patting me on the shoulder, he quietly said, "Try and calm down first. I don't want you doing anything rash. Clear your mind and when the night falls and it's about time for all the vampires to rise from sleep, we'll head out for the two of us to lead the sneak attack. I need to get some sleep to be at full energy, so don't go doing anything irratonal, Zoey. Please."
Once Carlo had gone out of the room and long out of hearing range, I quietly said, "You'll have to forgive me when I make that irrational decision if Suh and Violet are on the battlefield tonight."
Of course, what I wanted for myself weren't fully decided just yet. But the choice that I was beginning to lean on more and more was what I knew would bring more than a handful of people to hate me for. But whether I wanted to make that decision was one thing that I had high doubts about. It was one thing that I knew stood against my beliefs, but there was something brewing deep inside of me that told me that it was the right way to go if I wanted to succeed in bringing what's right even closer.