beautiful

the only way i knew
i was still alive, and
breathing, and feeling,
was the pounding of my heart
and the tremble in my fingers,
when i thought about you,
because i've loved you,
and i've lost you.
but when you returned,
i've loved you again,
and again and again,
because you were
(are) always
beautiful - ;;
but it's time to say,
forever and always,
until the end of time,
and i've lost my chance.
all along, i've loved you,
and you were never alone.
there was a silver lining,
that you never saw,
but it's too late now,
and it's okay;
because it's always
been okay with you.

i wished for a million things,
to receive one in return,
a happiness in the form of her,
for you, for forever.
and i've watched you burn,
i've watched you cry,
i've watched you say goodbye,
but you don't need me
anymore.
this time, i'll be glorious,
no longer watching
the beautiful pinwheel,
but becoming one,
as i forget about you,
because in the end,
you're just another farewell
in a long list of goodbye.

(and you can
forget me now too.)