This is my story. The story of a girl with the secrets of someone 5 times my age.

Or maybe not. I'm sure someone out there had to grow up faster than me.


My name is Nadeshiko Aria. I was born in Lakewood Hospital, a quaint place to be. My Mother is Yuuna Aria. My Father, Haruka Hidan.

My Mom was 19 when she gave birth to me; I was a scrawny baby, only weighing a measly 6 pounds.

I was born with a hole in my heart.

Not metaphorically, either.

My living beating heart... was damaged.

I couldn't breathe. My heart failed me a few moments after I was born.

I died for 2 minutes.

But I survived. I beat the odds and sucked in air, my heart pulsing again.

The Heart Murmur healed.

The doctors returned me to my Mother shortly afterwards.

They warned her that my heart will open again someday, and when that happens...


I'll die.

They had said when.

Not IF.

And that scared me even more.

Do You Remember My Lullaby?

Breathe Forever


Age: 1-2

The farthest back I can remember was when I was around 1 to 2 years old.

I saw blinding white. Emptiness and a flat surface stretching out like a caged meadow.

The house I lived in before I moved to my new home.

I had pestered Mom about a "clubhouse", watching a show about a boy with a pet goldfish and cat named Elsie, going on all sorts of learning journeys, like the little kid I was.

I guess I wanted some adventure.

A place to escape.

"Mom," I asked gently with a small voice. "Can I have a clubhouse?"

I gave her puppy dog eyes.

"A clubhouse? Why don't you ask Haruka, Nadeshiko? You know he'd do anything for you."

Everything was covered in a misty snow. Everytime I glanced at a new object, it would trail away, leaving a faded smear of color.

It was so facinating and beautiful. I wanted to see what else was out there.

I knew Mom's voice. I heard Mom's footsteps. Yet, I couldn't see her. Her face was just a pale smudge.

"Daddy?" I called as I ran up to a familiar pair of bleached baggy jeans.

I could smell Dad on the pants. It was warm and comforting.

"Yes, Nadeshiko?"

"Can I get a clubhouse?"

"I don't know, sweetheart. But, I could try for you."

"Really? Oh, thank you, thank you so much! I love you more than the sky is blue!"

Dad chuckled. "Watching that show again, huh?"

"YEAH! It's so amazing how beautiful the world is, isn't it Dad?"

I remember Dad smiling. "It sure is."

And the last thing I saw of my first home was a vacant plane of white.

"This is my new home?" I asked, wobbling up to the door. It was pale emerald, the structure, and the door was alabaster with numbers I never memorized. They were gold.

"The best I could do, honey. Do you like it?" Dad asked. I could hear apprehension. He wanted my approval.

My new home was tall and old-fashioned, with steps made of rusty cement, and without a railing.

I swallowed my disappointment and nodded my head vigurously. I didn't want to cause any sorrow.

"We're living here from now on, sweet." He stated.

A flicker of excitement burned inside me and I bounced around like a newborn bunny.

"Oh wow! A new home!"

I ran back to Mom and Dad, crying happily, hugging the life out of them.

"Thank you so much."

Their faces smoothed out, a gentleness that succeeded in making me feeling even more solaced.

They said together, like a true family that loved each other more than even themselves,

"Anything for you."