The reason why I'm alive is not because I'm looking for love, but because I'm searching for a way to fill the emptiness without it.

Do You Remember My Lullaby?

Breathe Forever

Memories: 9th Reminiscence

Age: 2

"Summer, Niko, Summer. We can go to beaches and pool parties and have loads and loads of fun!"

Mom was so happy for "Summer" but what's so happy about being so hot that we can't move?

Mom patted me on the back.

"We'll make ice pops together!"

"Ice pops?"

She nodded.

"That's right, now hold on a second while I get the molds..."

I remained in the living room couch while she went off to the kitchen.

"Hey, Elsie..."

She lifted her silver head and blinked forest hues at me.

I just remembered all about Angel... I forgot about her with Elsie to take care of now...

"Let's look for Angel."

I patted her on the head and she stood up and followed me to my room.

I dropped to my knees and looked for Angel underneath my bed, but it was all in vain.

Angel was no where to be found.


"Niko, I found it!"

I immediately got to my feet and bolted to the door.

"You found-"

"I found the molds! Now let's start!"

I kept my torn expression from bubbling up and showing on my face. It was my fault that I misplaced her in the first place.

Mom went into the fridge and pulled out four types of juice. She pointed to each one.

"Which one do you like the most?"

"Apple juice..."

"Orange juice..."

"Tomato juice-"

I held my nose.

"Tomato juice stinks!"

She laughed.

"Ok, ok. No tomato juice for you."

"Annnnd... Milk."

"I don't like milk. Milk isn't juice."

I objected.

She stood still.

"What's the matter, Mommy?"

She tapped her nails on the caps of the juices that remained.


I pointed at random.

"Orange juice?"

She asked.

I nodded.

She unscrewed the cap and I watched as a sunny orange-yellow poured out of the carton and into the small rectangular space.


I reached out to touch it.

"Don't touch it, you'll make it taste funny if you do."

Mother advised.

She picked up the milk and and poured it into the little space next to mine.

"What's that for?"

"It's for me."

She opened the fridge and took out a few strawberries, putting them in a bowl after cutting off the leaves and smashing them together until it was just some juice and lumps.

She poured it in.

"My favorite popsicle is roasted strawberry and coconut milk, but there is none, so I'm improvising."


I inquired.

"When you make something using what you have when you don't have it."

She picked up the tray and placed it in the freezer.

"What now?"

I asked.

"We wait. Until it's ready."

The wait wasn't long at all. Mom said a few hours had passed, but I don't know what hours are...


"Here's your popsicle..."

She sang as she pulled out my sunny treat.

"And here's my popsicle."

It was pretty to look at.

"It turned out good."

I commented.

She agreed, trying it out. She smiled contentedly.

Then I noticed, where's Dad? Wasn't he suppossed to be home by now?

I tugged her sleeve.

"Where's Dad?"

She sighed, seeming to loose intrest in her block of ice.

"I don't know..."