It's funny how in life your so busy worrying about your own petty problems, that when something bigger comes along you think of your old problems as silly. For example, I used to worry about why the guy I like doesn't like me back. Or I used to worry about the fact that Jace and Clary are brother and sister ( City of Ashes, nobody spoil it for me) and I was totally flipping out because I wanted them to be with each other. Or about why nothing interesting would happen to me like those girls in those books where their life takes a turn for the worst, but they always get the guy. Their life is so full of adventure and here I am, sitting in middle school wondering if a remotely cute boy will ask me to a dance. But this story shouldn't be about me ranting about my crappy life, should it? Don't worry we'll get to the good part soon.
Let me tell you a little about myself, my name is Raagini, I am a writer, its in my blood, and it is my passion. When I write I feel as if my feelings pour out of me in to the words. When I know what to write, I feel like nothing can stop me. Though its kind of hard to be passionate about writing when Mrs. Hudson is your Advanced English teacher. She absolutely craves perfection, one time she wrote an essay about perfection and handed it out to our entire class!
Another thing you should know about me is that I am Indian. I have the entire package with the parents from India and the no B's attitude. And the whole shpeal about no dating until i have a stable job. Sometimes I find myself floating away and thinking about how I have nothing that I can relate to the girls in those books.
So, is this a story about love? Maybe. Is it a story to desperation, betrayal, and wanting something so bad that when you get it the truth about what it is shocks you so much that you want to die inside? Absolutely. I now regret ever wanting to be like those girls in the books with an adventure, even if I am one of those "lucky" girls now, I didn't get the guy, well kinda. Let me explain it to you.
The nightmare started on a Friday. I was trying to get to the bus as fast as possible and get there before Max came to his locker. Max. Just saying his name makes me feel like there are caterpillars in my stomach, not butterflies, caterpillars. Whenever I'm near him I feel my face getting hot and I feel like I want to throw up. Max Carter. Since his last name also starts with a C his locker was right next to mine. But i'm Desi, pretty much asian a guy like that would never go with a day dreaming girl like me. And now I had to leave as soon as possible before I said something stupid or made a fool of myself. Too late!
Everything about him was perfect. He had soft brown hair that fell across his face to the side. His warm chocolate eyes made me feel like I was drinking a cup of hot chocolate in the winter time. His lips were a dark rosy color, as if someone dusted them with the soft flower. He was perfect. I could barely move let alone talk. "I need to get to my locker" he said his voice made me feel like liquid sugar was dripping right into the pit of my stomach. I moved away slightly, and I stole a glance at him. He was beautiful. How does a guy like that end up in the suburban town near Marquette, Michigan.
He looked at me, he had never, since the sixth grade, ever looked at me. "Are you doing anything this weekend". I swear I could have fainted on the spot, but something about his eyes were mesmerizing me to keep looking. "I, uh no?" I replied hastily. " Do you want to go to the winter dance on Saturday"., This was it, it was finnaly my chance, but a small, annoying, part of me kept whispering . "Why now, he never showed any indication of having liked you before". But I didn't care, if your crush asked you out, and nobody has ever liked you in your life before, what would you do? Exactly. Obviously I said yes and those oh, so perfect lips turned upwards into a small, devestatingly sexy smile. And I melted.
Now, I have been regretting my desicion to say yes ever since.