I have have found

My thoughts cannot be written down

This weight cannot be relived

By words I find inside of me

But that's okay

I've run out of things to say

I haven't learned to write

Feelings not seen by sight

Father, Father

How can I come close to you?

When my heart turns to ashes

Every time I do

Savior, Savior

Why aren't you here

Can't you tell I need you

Dry my unshed tears

Father, Father

I'm so scared

I feel guilty for asking

For thinking you cared

Sinner, Sinner

I know that's what I am

But won't you take me anyway

If only I knew the words to say

Take me back

Take me back

And just when I'm the verge of asking

That God-damn voice inside my head

Says I don't deserve it

I don't really want to repent

And as I stand there saying

All the words I've said before

I stand there asking

For everything I've always asked for

And it's not that I don't see their answers

How could I not, they're clear as day

But that I can't bring myself to ask them

The same questions day after day

I didn't ever earn this

And how can I deserve this

And I don't ever repay

I just take and take

And it's killing me

And I don't know what to do

I know just enough to cloud my vision

But I guess that's nothing new

I've always been blinded

By knowledge and understanding

I used to ask you to clear the fog

And now I'm too confused to ask at all

My requests are twisted

They're not what are best for me

But then again how would I know

But I keep begging quietly

For nightmares of darkened streets

Tears tearing they're way out of me

For punishment for me alone

A peaceful quiet happy home