Hello FictionPress people. This is my first FictionPress story, although I have written on FanFiction, so I would love it if you could give some feedback. I really love Greek Myths, so this story is some Greek Myths, told in a more blunt PoV of a teenage girl, me. Enjoy!
Warning: Contains bad words. Like, pretty bad words.
The Myth of Sisyphus
Okay, so, there once was a King named Sisyphus. He's like, this all powerful bastard, that's like superduper dishonest and deceitful. He's like a murderer!
Seriously? He even seduced his niece! But that's a story for another time. Anyways, after a while, Zeus, king of the gods, another cheating bastard, gets
So what does he do? He goes to the god of death, Thanatos, and is like: "Okay, get this Sisyphus dude for me, chain him up, and here ya go. Now, shoo!"
Now Sisyphus is cunning, right? And since no one in his right mind wants to be chained up in the Underworld for all eternity, he devises a plan. He goes, "Yo,
how do the chains work?" And stupid, stupid Thanatos goes, " Oh, like this." So Sisyphus chains HIM up and goes, "K, thanks, baii!" Then everyone was all like,
"OMG! The god of death is chained up, we don't have to die anymore! Yay!" So because Ares, god of war, was damn exasperated, 'cuz his enemies couldn't die went.
"F***. I'll just free the idiot Thanatos." Then he gets King Sisyphus and goes to Thanatos, "Here ya go."
But, before Sisyphus died, he told his wife to throw his body out into the middle of a public square when he died, (naked too, how gross! He's gonna scar a
buncha poor little girls for life! Wth?), as a test of her love. So, she's like, what the hell, and does it. But then, Sisyphus pretends to be outraged, and
complained to Persephone, dead flower girl, the goddess of spring and flowers and etc., who, ironically is married to the god of the underworld, saying, "WTF?
Didja see what my wife did there? That little slut, I'm getting my revenge." Gullible Dead Flower Girl is all like, "Okeydokey!"
So he goes back to the world above, and lives his life for another coupla years, until Sandal Wings comes and drags him back. Zeus is like, "That piece of nasty
sh*t!" And punishes Sisyphus by telling him to roll this like, epic sized boulder up this super tall hill, but enchants it to always roll down. Ya know, the usual kind
So now, Sisyphus, is literally stuck in Hell, rolling a boulder up a hill for all eternity.
And that's that.
In case you guys, didn't get it, Sandal Wings in Hermes. I hoped you liked it.