i think something needs to be made clear,
between you and i. something important,
something we've pushed aside,
ignored for far too long. this:

if i notice something seems off,
i lose myself in terror, white noise buzzing
behind my eyelids as i
search myself for what i've done wrong,
and how i can make it better.

my whole life has been spent
honing one particular skill:
my ability to read into other people's emotions.
specifically: pinched lips,
irritated sighs, cold eyes, clenched fists.
the lack of a smile, the subtle exhalation
that surely means icy, merciless fury.

don't play me for a fool -
i recognize it, even within your
cool logic, your politely grim stare.
you're angry at me,
and i don't know how to fix it.

.

.

.

"please, just tell me how to fix this - "