Join the Dark Side

Hey Goody Two Shoes won'tcha join me
'Cause I'd rather not face a defeat
Victory's not definite don'tcha see?
Only at the finale is the enemy actually beat

You could be legendarily unique
If it's recognition that you seek
if you beat me your story ends
Sure, you'll have rest, peace, and quiet
with no more weak to defend
and no more soothing disquiet

But you could get that
By allying yourself with me
and going on a killing spree
As long as it's not my blood going "splat"

So lower that gun and join me
So I can avoid my impending defeat
And the outcome's assured, don'tcha see?
'Cause I'm you're archenemy
and this is the last episode
Since another season was vetoed

Hey, you could revive the show
Whad'ya mean "fans screams of 'no!'"
You being evil is the fangirl's dream
And a recurring fanfiction theme

And look at the way you are foiling my shceme
it won't matter which one you choose
It'll be resolved in a ham handed way
So the situation's rather lose-lose
Great! I knew you'd see it my way

Now just ignore the facepalms
And cries of "jumping the shark"
Now matter how true that remark
take the fanbase flak and stay calm

And even if we don't get the next season
Our finale will be very remembered
for two simple reasons
I wasn't dismembered
And you bought my lies
When you joined the dark side!