Dear Annika,

I thought of you today.

I cried and I even thought to call

For the first time in almost a year.

I don't know why when I looked in the mirror today

I saw you looking back .

Maybe it's the bitter chill in the air

Or perhaps the frigid rain pelting upon my roof

That makes me remember the day

It all went down.

Annika, for so long

I've kept what happened between us

Sealed deep within my mind;

Hidden and and unheard of

From everyone, including myself.

But today every memory

I've ever had of you came flooding back to me

Like water releasing from a cloud.

I couldn't stop them.

The tears I've kept concealed

For all these months

-They finally came.

Suddenly I remember every single

Secret I ever told you.

Every second of laughter I've ever shared

With you beside me.

I remember it.

And that's why my tears continue to flow.

Because no matter how much I long

For those moments to still be here...

They're gone.

After all the hurtful things we did to each other

It seems impossible to rekindle the friendship we lost.

So Annika, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I haven't even cried a single, solitary

Tear over you until now.

Because you're worth so much more than that.

You have to understand:

I was scared.

You were turning into someone

I no longer knew

And quite honestly,

I wasn't sure if I truly wanted

To know the person you were turning into or not.

You became a stranger to me

And I was afraid.

I said things I didn't mean,

And as a cause of that I got my answer.

I don't know you anymore!

You're a complete stranger to me now

And for that reason I am very, very sorry.

Annika, I miss you.

And if it were in my power

I would reverse time.

I'd go back and rewrite

Everything from the very

Firt moment I ever doubted your sincerity.

Yes, I would go back to the nights

Where I would text you at midnight

Without a second thought.

I'd live again the days we'd talk

For hours on end.

Annika, I'd do anything to have

Your friendship again.

So please forgive me.

Give me a second chance.

I love you no matter what may have happened

And I'm willing to do whatever

It takes to make sure it doesn't happen again.

So Annika, let me in.

Annika,

I beg of you,

Let me be your friend.