Eat My Heart.

I thought I had an idea, I thought that who I used to be
was someone complete, someone worth keeping here, but it
was all a lie, an expert in self-destruction, I should've recognized
the signs, there's nothing worth saving now, so burn me down.

I can't stand the reflection, I wanted something
to protect but even back then I was the same,
maybe after falling this low, breaking this bad,
I can finally taste it, life, feel something for once.

So I look inside, but there's no one at my feet,
no one to beg forgiveness to, I look at my face and
it's difficult to understand there's nothing left of that child,
past and present, those are the same ruins now.

Who do you think you are? Do you know? Makes me laugh, I
don't care how you live your life, I'll live mine as I can, maybe
someday how I want, I have to face myself everyday, always on trial,
numb myself, keep walking so I get there, but inside I'm stranded.

I don't remember what the point was, what the ending was supposed
to look like, I forgot left and right, who I wanted to be, and it's always
in the be, never in the have, but is that smart? Is that wise? Break your
back trying to reach high, but that ladder keeps forking sideways, a farce.

Daily battle, face myself, walk to the drum of my heart, and at dawn
the streets are painfully familiar, I ache with a battered chest that
moves slowly, regretfully, frightened by humanity and itself, one with
the hatred, one with the pain, it overflows again and it's a pitiful sight.

Sick and tired, of myself and the same trials, I repeat them
like a definition, warning signs melting under the blazing sun
but I'm not done yet, closing my eyes I have to play along,
see no evil, even when I can taste the smoke on my tongue.

If someday I let myself gather
the strength, there will only be
enough to tear myself apart,
burn all of it down, eat my own heart.