Have you ever felt the need to be with someone?
Be their everything and more?
Everyday seemed just that little bit brighter.
I smiled, I lived and I loved for him.
Until it broke.
Too close for comfort
If someone told me this friendship was going too far, I'd ignore it. What did they know about my feelings? Nothing in my mind, but seemingly more than I knew. As soon as we found the point admitting we aren't in love it seemed easier to run away. A second turned into an hour and the hour into a day.
Have you ever loved and couldn't tell?
So scared of love..
That you rather hurt yourself?
Have you ever turned around and ran away?
Because it was easier?
Running away was always easier. We stopped talking and just our eyes told our story. Your expression stony and cold, bored and stopping everyone from coming hear. Being the younger one, was the attention draw. Somehow everyone felt sorry for the little brown haired girl who's eyes swam with tears each time his name was mentioned. So he left.
Have you ever felt the need to leave?
Leave so others could live?
Two years after running and still sitting in the same room I packed and left. I returned my badge and stayed away. Not being able to let go until even the last bit of past was burnt. Two years of lying to herself and she somehow found how to move on.
Have you ever gone back with a smile on you face after leaving in tears?
Going back was difficult. Not being sure if one is welcome after leaving, but a smile tells a story of a girl that after another year seemed to get back on track and grew up into the friend and young woman they all knew she used to be and would become.
I went back.
I failed to love then.
Now I know better and love him more.
After years we still follow our heart back to the places we left and know that it was good but it didn't last. The smile stays in place and the tears are subdued, in case we meet again, you know my friend I still love you.