Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that when a celebrity starts dating someone (most of the time it's another famous person) how the girl population of the world seems to go insane!? Well I shouldn't say the whole girl population of the world or anything, but a good majority of teen girls among the world go insane. Anyone else noticed? I sure have. It became very clear to me when Harry Styles from One Direction started dating Taylor Swift. For anyone reading this that has no idea who Harry Styles or Taylor Swift is, I'll fill you in on who they are just so you're not confused or thinking about the old man living down your street named Harry. Harry Styles is from the boy band One Direction which consists of 4 other guys besides himself (No they are not gay, but quite frankly at times they do act gay and honestly how do we know they aren't? Do you really know what they do on that tour bus of theirs? Note to crazy fans: Please don't track me down and kill me in my sleep, remember this is only my opinion), He's the one with the extremely curly hair which kind of looks like he got a perm (I plan to ask him if he got a perm if I ever do meet him), and he's the "womanizer" I guess of the group that makes some, not all teenage girls go wild for and turns middle aged mothers on. Did I mention he likes old women? Now for Taylor Swift, she's a singer / song writer / actress. She writes songs about her ex - boyfriends, you might know her new song "We are never getting back together" which is played on the radio, has the most fucked up music video which honestly makes no sense what so ever (Note: if you have any idea as to how people dressed up as woodland critters has anything to do with breaking up with your ex please feel free to explain his to me because I have no fucking clue quite frankly). She also has starred in some movies, and in my opinion isn't all that great of an actress (I think my five year old niece could do a better acting job then her), she starred in the movie Valentine's Day with Taylor Lautner. If you still have no idea who Taylor Swift or Harry Styles, either ask a crazy teenage girl or just make it easy on you and the world, and just Google it.
After these two were "caught" on a "secret date" so the press called it, the girl population went insane. I went on Twitter that night (Not so great of an idea) and what was trending was 'Haylor' 'TheWhoreStrikes' 'One Direction' and a bunch of other shit related to that. If I thought Twitter was bad, Facebook was more like 150x over the regular annoyance scale of 1 - 100. There were tweets, a pictures, news articles, posts, rants, and death threats everywhere. Like holy shit people, calm the fuck down! Can't a famous boy and girl go somewhere without having the press say their dating or are now all of a sudden butt buddies!?
Normally when I scroll down my news feed on Facebook it consists of people talking about how they hate someone or about how forever alone they are, pictures of people in their bathrooms in front of the mirror with the toilet clearly shown in the bathroom, posts about what people are doing (Which I don't give a fuck about), random shared stuff, and random new article shit from stuff I have liked. All of that right there, that's probably what a normal person most likely, sees if they scroll down their news feed.
Now for what I saw that day went something along the lines of death threats to Taylor Swift, new articles and other bullshit about her date, and other psychotic crap.
I honestly wouldn't have known about any of that bullshit until the next day when my friends who are "in love" so to speak with One Direction informed me, thankfully (Not really) I had Facebook and Twitter to let me know ahead of time. The funny thing is, as soon as I logged onto Facebook and before I even scrolled down my news feed, it was as if I damn bomb went off. It was as though my friends were sitting there at their computer staring at the computer screen intensely waiting for my name to pop up saying I was online because not even a second after I had logged on I had messages coming at me like ants on a piece of candy on the sidewalk. Not only that but they were also multi tasking too! I was getting so many texts at once I thought my phone was going to blow up or something.
Just making something clear which I believe I made clear in my chapter about boy bands and their crazy fans, I really honestly can say I don't really give a fuck about what famous people are doing with their lives, who they're dating, who they're "doing", what they wear, where they live or any other shit that they do or say or think or any other crazy psychotic bullshit that anyone else can think of. I don't care, yes I do tend to read one of those girly magazines (Mainly because my mother buys them for me, which I have no idea why quite frankly) that you see on the shelves in stores that look like they were made in Microsoft paint and contain creepy things about famous people. But let's be honest, I'm not going to get a psycho because for example, Cody Simpson is dating some random bitch. I don't move my ass off the sofa for my mother, so I certainly am not going to move my ass to go kill some bitch.
I don't even think that when Justin Bieber started dating Selena Gomez that the hate and psychotic bullshit was that bad. I think just recently the hate over that finally died down. Probably because they broke up, which I don't think anyone really gave a crap about, everyone was more worried about "Haylor" making its scene and the world ending to really care about their problems. In a way I'm kind of sad that they broke up, not for the fact that they split and are not a item, or that Selena Gomez might go after Niall from One Direction (Google it if you don't know who that it) and honestly if that ever happens I will never hear the end of it because both of my best friends are determined that they are going to marry him, which results in them fighting over it while I sit there at lunch eating my sandwich and staring up at the ceiling like 'wow that's a good looking ceiling! Wonder what that stain there is?' while they sit there arguing. I'm sad for the fact that my younger sister has suddenly been diagnosed with Bieber fever, almost everything in her room consists of something Justin Bieber related or is purple because apparently purple is his favorite color. Her walls are covered with posters of him, which creeps me the fuck out. I have watched his movie never say never 8x because that's the only thing that is ever on the TV when I go down stairs. I think if I am ever given the chance to meet him, I might just punch him in the face. You try being woken up on a Saturday at 8am by the wails of Justin Bieber and not have the urge to climb out of bed, go to your sister's room and throw the damn stereo out the window.
The funny thing is, the craziness of celebrities dating only consists of girls! No guy really gives a crap when any famous girl dates some guy. I didn't hear anything about any guy saying he was going to kill JayZ when he dated them married Beyonce or even when Justin Bieber started dating Selena Gomez. There wasn't any posts on Facebook or Tweets like 'Imma kill that nigga! Why would she agree to marry him!' or 'He's just gonna use her! She should be mine'. You want to know why there are close to no posts about some famous girl dating someone from guys? Because they don't really give a fuck! Seriously, they don't go insane like most girls; they know how to deal with that shit!
I'm just going to make something crystal clear to those of you who might have not taken this to mind; Justin Bieber, Harry Styles or any of the rest of One Direction, Taylor Lautner, Cody Simpson, or any other famous person is not going to knock on your door and be like 'Hey let's date!'. That may happen in your dreams, but dreams are not reality. As depressing as that may be for some or most people, that is the truth. It is a one in a million shot that any famous person will show up at your door and say that, and just putting it bluntly out there, you are most likely not that one in a million. Just deal with it, and if you're having a hard time doing that then maybe it's time to get a therapist or do what most girls do and post their problems on Facebook in a long paragraph that nobody will give a fuck to read.
So I'm kind of considering making a YouTube channel. Think I should do it? Comment and let me know
Unicorns and Rockets,