i am a failure.

and i fucking hate her.

grown up, not a child

still pretending, still being

here.

is there nowhere else to be?

why the fuck am i here?

too scared, too much fear

and the sounds floating in

i'd rather die than experience.

try to maybe

trust people

hesitantly - i'm crazy.

it's always thrown back in my face.

so what? don't trust.

corrupt yourself

jaded dust

until you need to die, all the time.

and that's not okay -

so try to trust today

but you throw it in my face

still looking out my window

seeing trees die, i want to see the grass grow

still failing.

do you see?