They just got off the Mayflower. Their insides were screaming with hunger as they reached shore, to what was Jamestown.
"Well what are we supposed to do now?" Emily asked out loud. Her voice scaring the vultures away from the swordfish they were feasting on. Disgusted by the sight, she ran to the ship in search of lil kash. Emily reached the others, and saw lil kash.
"Come on guys! Let's play apples to apples!" lil kash said. Everybody moaned. They were not appreciative of her cheerfulness at this moment. There weren't many people that had survived the journey to shore, and this was obviously taking an effective toll on the overall mood of the pilgrims.
Nick Ringelstein hopped off the boat with a deer head, which he offered to Sabor as a sign of love. She blushed, her cheeks getting rosier as the seconds passed.
Daria noticed the head, the stench reaching her nose and she vomited. Catherine saw this and ran to hold her hair back. Chunks of Velveeta Shells & Cheese escaped from her mouth.
Kristina quickly ran to Daria and began eating the mush that was once a delicious meal. She was very hungry, as you could tell.
Anna, witnessing all of the atrocity decided that it was time to start looking for a source of nourishment. She took Danielle, Aga, and Victor to look for some food for the entire group.
They didn't go too far from the boat, because of the unfamiliar surroundings that were around them.
"I really hate these clothes," Aga said bristly, as they started to make their way to the forest. She was referring to the wool petticoat and polyester socks she was wearing.
"They really grind my gears," Victor added as he pulled out a screwdriver. He smiled vastly, waiting for some recognition for his truly awesome pun. Danielle stared at him for some time. She took matter into her own hands and grabbed the screwdriver, throwing it across her shoulder while remarking, "Shut up you piece of tit."
Anna quietly chuckled to herself; the joke amused her to a large extent.
"OW!" An unfamiliar and quite vibrant noise was heard from the area where the screwdriver was thrown.
Aga went to see what the fuss was all about, while Victor, Danielle, and Anna were clutching to one another hoping that it wasn't an army of armadillos. "It's just Sam sleeping", she called back, much to everyone else's relief.
"Get me some food or I will bite your fingernails off to the core," Sam threatened. She wasn't one to be happy when woken up. Cuddling next to a pile of bunnies, she went right back to a dreamful slumber.
"Fucking Sam", Aga said cheerfully. They all shared a joyful laugh as they returned back to their previous task.
Little did they know what lay not half a mile away from them…
On another side of the forest, three Indians were trekking about in the trees, talking about their favorite pastime, a hunt they referred to as "League of Beavers." It was growing chillier as the day rolled on, and their flavor needs were coming on strong- so they pulled out their Indian yogurt pouches and looked for a place to settle down and get their shake on. The smallest of the Indians, Lyle- Indian name Jello Yacket- very suddenly came to his two friends and said "Fitch! Ravid! I know this awesome place where a pile of bunnies always sleeps. We should go hang out there because they are just so gosh darn cuddly!"
Fitch and Ravid were so excited by the idea that they instantly agreed, and the group of three barreled towards the west end of the forest.
As they came upon a bush where Lyle reported the bunnies lay just beyond, Fitch-Indian name Strong Lyle- held out a hand and said, "Hey, guys, what if there's danger? Maybe we should get some weapons or something."
"What? The bunnies are gonna wake up?" mocked Lyle, shaking his head as he sucked down the last of his yogurt pouch. "Oh, hush, lets go cuddle and stop spewing such nonsense."
As the three piled out past the bush, they were met with an odd sight: a girl sleeping with their bunnies. She was obviously not an Indian girl, for her skin was the same color as Ravid, who had been adopted from a white tribe. Everyone became increasingly uncomfortable as the girl did not wake up.
"Well this is… unexpected," said Fitch as he nudged at the ground with his foot, wishing he did not have to depend on a community pile of bunnies to cuddle with. If only he had a device specifically for cuddling…like a pillow… but it would have to be the length of his body… Fitch sighed forlornly.
"Should we… do something?" asked Ravid, eyes searching for a solution.
Lyle shrugged. "How's about we… pretend like she's not here and nap on the side of the pile that this girl isn't sleeping on?"
Lyle always had fantastic ideas, and this was just another one of those. So the three Indians settled down in the bunnies and drifted off to sleep, peacefully ignoring the problem that they would surely be able to put off dealing with until another time.
About a mile from the nesting place of the bunnies, Aga, Anna, Danielle, and Victor were returning from their search of nutritious food. Their arms were filled with delicious berries, bananas, tree bark, seaweed, squirrels, Cap'n Crunch, and most importantly, deer brains.
"I can't believe we just found all of this stuff!" said Anna, with a huge grin on her face. She started devouring the banana that was in her hand. The sweetness rang her taste buds like a school bell on the first day of the pilgrim school she so joyfully recalled attending. Granted, this is the same school that she'd ended up burning to the ground on the second day of class, but that had mostly been an accident.
"Whoever left it out was pretty dumb," Aga stated. She too started eating the remains of brains, which ended spilling out of her mouth as she took a giant bite. After chewing for a while, she looked satisfied with her decision to try the venison.
Danielle and Victor agreed with Anna and Aga, and they too were stuffing their faces with the berries and cereal.
Fitch's eyes shot open. "Someone has our stuff," he said to the others. Fitch always knew when something is wrong—he could hear the imbalance in the wind. Lyle had the same ability. Ravid, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky, seeing as he was the adopted one, but it was impolite and politically incorrect to acknowledge that he was different from the rest of the tribe. All three of them stood up quietly, so as to not wake the sleeping girl on the other side of the bunnies.
"Wait! We don't have any weapons or anything if there are intruders," Lyle said. He was starting to look scared and nervous, but was trying not to let it show to the others. Lyle was an extremely good liar and pretender—it was a skill they had taught him in Indian preschool. To the rest of the world, Lyle seemed simply inconvenienced by the pressing threat of intruders.
"We should take some bunnies," Ravid suggested. "I doubt anybody would want to hurt us if we have some of these cute bunnies with us." His logic was impeccable at this very moment.
The two other Indian boys agreed to do this. They took two bunnies each; they didn't want to be rude and leave the girl with absolutely no bunnies to cuddle with. Indians were always thoughtful that way.
They started walking in the direction that the aroma of deer brains was coming from. They didn't have to walk far, because they noticed an unfamiliar large thing that was emerging from the water—a boat, they would later learn it was called. Huddling close together, they ran towards the scent and soon found people in the distance with their food.
"Hey! Stop! That's ours!" the three boys cried out in unison.
Anna turned around, wondering what was going on. She saw three boys running towards her and her friends with bunnies. She exchanged a look with Victor, and the two of them burst out laughing. Aga and Danielle looked back to see what all of the hullabaloo was about. Finding the bunny wielding Indians just a little ways behind them, they joined Anna and Victor on the ground, laughing their poopers off at the ridiculous sight.
Fitch reached the group of laughing Europeans and stopped short, making a Mitchell face. "Why are they laughing at us?" Fitch asked Lyle and Ravid.
"Because you look fucking ridiculous," Aga answered. Tears now streaming down her face from laughter, she nearly choked on the deer brain in her mouth.
Lyle shook his head and threw down the bunnies. "Goddammit, Ravid, I told you these bunnies were a stupid idea." Evidently, he had thought the bunnies were a great idea, but he was increasingly uncomfortable with being laughed at. He shook his head, attempting to change the subject. "Either way, that's our deer brain," Lyle sternly said. "You had no right to take it from us."
"Yeah? Well you guys left it out in the open," Victor responded. "It's not like your name was on it, I didn't see 'property of Indians' being written on anything." Actually, the three boys had written their names on the food, but it had been in Indian language. The Europeans didn't understand and probably wouldn't have cared if they did. They had, after all, come to this country planning to take much more than simply food. But that's another story.
"Who are you guys, anyway?" Ravid asked, still wielding his bunny in the most menacing fashion possible.
"What does it matter who we are? The question is who are you, and why are you yelling at us for taking something that could've been anybody's in the first place?" Anna said, crossing her arms.
"… and why the fuck are you staring at me and Anna like that?" Aga questioned the smallest of the three boys.
Lyle had realized that the dresses that those two girls were wearing were made out of wool. The entire tribe would benefit from wool, he realized, in order to keep warm in the winter. This was a problem that everybody was facing.
"Hold on a minute," Lyle said to them.
He took Ravid and Fitch by the bushes for a gameplan. All of the white people exchanged glances as the three stepped away. This certainly was an odd first day in a country.
"Okay, we need those wool skirts that those girls have on."
"The brown ones, or the white ones?" asked Ravid. Seeing as Ravid was different, as the polite term goes, he also did not have the uncanny sense of which material was which the way that Fitch and Lyle did.
"The brown ones, ya stupid! Look—the ones that those two light hair colored girls are wearing. Think, guys. We would be heroes to the tribe if we got a hold of them." Lyle said dreamily.
At that moment, Catherine and Emily came to their friends. They saw the encounter with the Indians, and thought they needed some help.
"What's going on?" Catherine asked, face slightly flushed from the mile she had just run.
"These three Indians are being fucks. They're all butthurt because we took their yummilicious food," Danielle said somberly.
Lyle noticed two more girls show up in brown wool skirts. His face lit up with excitement.
"This is excellent! We now have more wool skirts for the tribe!" he told Fitch and Ravid. "Okay, just follow my lead."
Ravid cleared his throat, slightly uncomfortable with the plan that Lyle and Mitch had laid out for them. He did not like the idea of dishonorably stealing. Perhaps if there were a way to bargain with these strangers rather than betray their trust…
"We're terribly sorry that we overreacted about all of this, it's entirely my fault. I hope you can forgive us." Lyle smiled sweetly.
"Okay," Aga said emotionless. She was suspicious, but did not want to make any calls. To keep herself occupied, she began flossing.
"My brothers and I were just talking. We wish to help you guys hunt for food on your own. It would be very beneficial for you all—and for us, seeing as you wouldn't have to steal ours anymore." Lyle put on a plastic smile
"Wow! That's really nice of you guys. We're up for anything," Anna said to them. She was astonished that they were being so genuine. Man, she was thinking. Indians are just so dandy.
Catherine and Emily agreed to it as well, their faces beaming with joy. They were very hungry, and Victor had already devoured most of the Cap'n Crunch.
Aga decided to give them the benefit of the doubt. What did she have to lose? "Okay," she said.
"We're going to go to the ship and give some food to the others, Kristina really needs some," said Victor. He and Danielle left for the ship, leaving Aga, Anna, Emily, and Catherine to hunt… with no weapons.
"So what do we have to do?" Emily asked Lyle.
"It's rather simple, but there's just one problem with your clothes."
"What?" Catherine asked, confused.
"Your skirts will get caught in the branches and twigs, and will get muddy and stuff. That's never good while you're hunting. You'll scare away the artichokes." Lyle wasn't entirely lying to the girls. And his entire tribe would benefit from the thievery—so this had to be okay. The end would justify the means.
"Oh...okay then," said Anna. She was getting slightly uncomfortable, but hey, they knew what they were doing after all.
All four of them took off their skirts, left wearing only a pair of jeans and a T-shirt from one of the drama productions they had done to fill the empty hours on the Mayflower. It wasn't as bad as they thought it would be, at least they would be developing a skill that could help them in the end.
They threw their wool skirts near Fitch and Ravid. Lyle turned to Fitch and nodded his head, giving him the signal to run off with the prized possessions.
As the girls were talking about how salty the saltwater was, Fitch and Ravid quietly collected the girls' skirts. Fitch made some muttered excuse about going to refill the drinks for the four of them and ran off, David hesitantly following after. Nobody noticed anything, until Lyle grabbed the deer brain from Aga's hands and ran off after his fellow Indian friends
Anna ran for them, cursing under her breath at how stupid she was for trusting them. She stopped, realizing it was pointless to go after them.
"You dumb poopers! Fuck you all!" Aga shouted. She didn't even bother running after them.
Emily and Catherine just sighed, being tired of everything that has happened.
"Well that's life," Emily muttered with Catherine nodding beside her.
Disheartened, they made their way back to the ship, to give the bad news to the rest of their friends. "I knew something was wrong the second he suggested to help," Aga confessed as they came upon the camp. There was nothing they could do now.
As they reached the ship, they saw all of their friends laughing and goofing off together. The berries and bananas were enough for them, seems like it. They didn't need the wisdom of the Indians. Sam was there, with two bunnies on each of her shoulders, nuzzling into her face. Sam and all of her woodland creature friends were busy breaking bread for a stuffing that she decided to make.
"You guys, we should call this day Thanksgiving," Emily said.
Nobody had any objections, so they agreed to it.
The four girls decided to not spoil the day by saying that they were stolen from and lied to. The wool skirts had been rather uncomfortable and ugly anyway. They were just really thankful that they all had one another, and that they would never do anything to cause each other any pain or hurt.
From the side of the camp came a rustle in the bushes, and Emily turned to find an Indian boy standing guiltily. "Oh, it's you…" she said, crossing her arms.
Ravid slowly came forward, offering up a turkey. "I'm sorry for what happened. It was pretty wrong for Lyle to do that to you. I'm sure, to some extent, he feels bad about it, too."
Emily accepted the turkey, with Daria coming up behind her to see what was happening. "Where'd you get this turkey?" asked Daria, disgusted by the dead animal.
"The Jewel Osco down the street," admitted Ravid.
Daria laughed. Emily smiled and brought the turkey over to the table where Sam and the woodland animals were now preparing a cranberry sauce. Daria grabbed Ravid's arm and led him into the camp. "Why don't you stay for dinner?" she offered softly.
Ecstatically, Ravid agreed.
By the time night had fallen, the hardships of the day had almost completely been forgotten, and the settlers, including Ravid, had an excellent time at the feast they had prepared out of their findings.
The wrongs of the past had all been forgiven, and the future looked pretty bright. They were all thankful for the evening and for the good company of each other, paying no mind to anything but the moment: here and now.
That is, after all, what a true friendship consists of.
love you guys.