This is a song for those who hate living

This is a song for all who crave death

This is a song for the children in the dark

Their murderous smiles shining through

This is a song for the demure children

Sitting and smiling sweetly

Hiding knives aimed for your heart

This is a song not meant for those who don't understand

Risqué suicides

This isn't for those who cry

At a suicide

This a song for those who

find beauty in blood

Silk in a coarse rope

Freedom so sweet in a dark death

This is my song

For suicidal blood soaked kids

In a place for crazed children

Below all their screams

I sit alone on my cot

My feet dangle

Swinging back and forth to the rhythm in my head

Two guards with my food smile at me

(like I'm their child)

I smile back and take my food

And spy a foolish hand

It can stroke my hair but if it wants to stay it must pay

I yank on the hand and bite it with a smile

They yell

(in anger. at me?)

I smile back and say I'm sorry, rocking back and forth

(hee hee, I'm not regretful)

I sit calmly and eat my food

I am a good girl

Oh look, a fork

They return with their sweet smiles

(how fake can you be?)

But they refuse to notice the blood on my head, heart, soul

It's all (your fault)

It's all (in my head)

Walk swiftly

Tread lightly

This land is not safe

Run faster

Breath harder

It seems to have noticed you

Quickly now

He's taken up the chase

A moment of bravery

A stroke of foolishness

It seems its to late

He's got you

"I love you"

You whisper to him

He swallows you

Only to spit you out

I'll sing of love

I'll sing of death

I'll sing for wishes

I'll sing for you

I'll wait for dawn

I'll play in twilight

I'll bask in the sun

I'll walk on snow with bare feet

I'll look for an eternity for happiness

I'll find it in a laugh from a true friend

I'll run and race the wind

I'll dance wildly in the rain

I'll sing

Just to sing

I'll be happy to live

Just to be alive


It comes slow

It catches you in unawares

As important as food and water

Needed for life

No dreams

Personality disorder





What a fun way to live a life!

I remember what they forget

I recall what was supposed to be lost to a shattered memory

But I still remember

Why I remember

I don't know

The snapshots of days forgotten by all

Are recalled by the smallest of all

Tiny hands holding fragile birds

Held within a large heart

To big for such a small body

But she still remembers

I can still remember

Rain washes away pain

Water falls from the sky

Drenching those running by

And the small girl

Barely beginning to turn into a woman

She just stands there

Looking at the dark sky

People see her from where they stand inside, dry and warm

And wonder

What is she waiting for

What is she searching for

Who is she

"How are you?"

This was spoken to her

A boy next to her

She turned and smiled

Her body drenched

Her heart warm

He takes her hand

He leads her away

He takes her to their home

They sit close

And smile at the pounding waters

From inside the cardboard box

Hidden in an alley










It can only be you

It can only be your emotions

Purple headphones cover my ears

All I can hear now is perfection

Right now I hear happiness

Right now I hear dance!

Here and now my feet bounce to the music


My heart dances beside me

I go crazy

My head is screaming

All I want to do is scream in joy

But I remain silent because this is my joy!

It's mine

No one else may ever touch it!


It drives me crazy

No one else can hear what I hear

I hear emotions in a synthetic music program

I can hear the beat racing my heart

I hear a beat screaming to escape

And it takes me with it

My heart dances behind it

I sing along

Even if I scream it's lyrics

No one can see me escape

This is IS MY MUSIC!













(Above is a total spazz attack. God, I love music)

Don't you leave me here

Don't forget about me

I may be small but I still exist

And I'll try to be strong

I'll try to carry the great weight of your expectations on my thin shoulders

I'll try to keep it all perfect


I'm not perfect

I never will be

I don't want to be

So stop judging my by what I don't have

Stop staring at my flaws

I see them

I love them

I wish you could to

One day I'll be happy

Won't I?

One day I'll feel safe


One day, these tears will stop


Please learn to love me

Please learn who I am

I crave for a heart to match mine

I look for him desperately.

But I can't find him.

Cause he's not there

Social outcasts, girls with ambition

Where we stand, we feel imperfect

But when we come together

All that stupid stuff slips away

And our dreams take front and our ambitions ring out

Others party, dance, and drink

We smile smartly, because we know their just a bunch of stupid girls

We don't call out for love

We don't force it

We only wait quietly

We aren't them

We are Us

Not that plastic

We Aren't gonna be normal

We don't care what you think

Slow dance?

Screw it, lets dance whatever way we want to

Society looks at us with judging eyes

Flip em the bird

Laugh in their fakey plastic faces

If they get ya they'll throw ya to the floor

But chill

I'll pick you right back up

And together we'll laugh in their faces

They watch me

Not a glance is kind

They just judges me

But not yours

Never yours

You watch me

A smile playing on your lips

But my downcast eyes don't notice

They don't see your love as I raise my eyes

A fire burning with nothing but passion

Passion for Laughter




But, how come when I look

I don't see you?

If I lie

Can you tell?

Do you know me well enough to discern my joy from my sorrow?

I feel like its hard to look into peoples eyes

Even though they say mine are beautiful

What makes them so?

Truth, lies, or

Passion, perhaps?

I feel so beautiful at my worst

I feel like dancing, singing, flying away when I am happy

When you give me joy

My laugh will carry through the earth

I feel beyond perfect

I am so amazingly imperfect

Do you feel like me?


Fight, don't die

Fight until your body betrays you

Fight until you can fight no more

Then rest for a bit

Until it is time to fight the war once more

I'll scream these words to the darkened sky

I'll move my feet, dodging jibes by an inch

I'll swing this scythe with all I am

This scythe plays a song, moving with me

I wield him like I dance

Graceful, but dangerously

I am a beautifully terrifying opponent

You have no chance


My shadow chases me

I fall into it with blank joyI fly through this darkened night

Where even the stars hide away

They fear the dancers of the night

They flee from our clear eyes

You do not though

You drown me in your own spinning world

I follow you and you follow me

We play this game with a careless innocence

We have no choice but to fall

"Roses, Roses

Pocket full of Posies

We all fall down!"

I want to love the way you laugh

I want to feel a mile high at you side

I want to fall in love with you

I want to love your eyes

I want to love you

I truly want to find you

Cause I'm tired of fighting this lonesome battle

But I still want to win the war

Maybe I can run

Where to, I don't know

I want to know if you would follow

Who would care

Who would miss me first

A vanishing act for one night

A taste of freedom for one night

But trained am I

The world outside is dangerous

The world is filled with bad people

The darkness is to be feared

The darkness is where the beautiful moon resides

Where the stars twinkle

I want to know what its like to run

I want to run

I want to

I want


I am all alone?

I dunno anymore

I'm tired

This world is so wearisome

I want to leave it

I want to lie down in the dark and cold

Slip into the peaceful oblivion of sleep

I am tired

I want to fall down and give up

But nothing is helping

Everything is pulling me up

Even those who try desperately to put down my spirit

Is my spirit to strong for this weak tiny body?

I feel like I'm not going to awake anymore



I really don't know anymore

I feel like I'm always wrong

The left then the right

You forgot this


What so wrong?

I feel like falling

I want to scrape my elbow and cry

My heart is holding the weight of the entire world

Why don't you just add on whatever while you're at it?

When the music stops

The end presses on me

It shows me a gun, a noose

A death for me

But when the beat erases my mind

I find the life empting out

And leaving me staring at the world

The beat lines up with my life

Pain beat pain beat

There's no difference

The world is gone

Leaving me and my beat alone

I ain't a hero!

I'm not a savior!I'm just the girl who's watching you kill yourself over her

She just a teaser

She's just a liar

And I'm just watching you

Go crazy over her

But I'm lover!I am fighter!

I'm the girl who's losing her mind over you

I'm the one watching

Deep in the shadows

Losing my sleep because of you

My dreams are all out of reach

My hearts been destroyed

She's taken your heart and playing it right

You're just fool

You just don't give a damn!

I'm thinking that I'm just hating you now

I think I'll take my love

And hide it away

For one that's truly looking for a heart like mine to love

The chains of life that bind us all

While you can see mine

You can't see yours

My life's just a procession of bad events

Your's is a parade of smiles and joy

Yet together we are bound by the eternal turning of this earth

Darkness versus light

Life fights death

You and me

We are one single entity