My dear and beloved.

Time runs by and I realize how far you are. How strong you made me. How weak I am now. How broken. Time runs by, and the pain grows and fades. Sometimes, I wake up in the night and say, « What if? ». Sometimes, I think about you, and think, « I love you ». Often, I cry. This is not what you'd have wanted, is it...? Oh, my beloved, how empty do I feel without you.

What if... What if we never had a fight? What if we understood, right at that time, that this was the moment? That it was all we'd have? That it was already the first and last time...?

But I know nothing can take you back. I know that. I know that so well. Will I ever... love again?

Yes... Yes, I will. You would want me to be happy, wouldn't you...? You wouldn't want me to join you. Not yet. But, my beloved, someday, we will meet again. Some fated day, some fated night. And from then on, we will be together again.


But... I can't just go on without mentioning them. You left this world and a whole life behind - dragging a part of us with you. Not only I, but they too, have cried and will mourn your departure until it's our turn. I hope they, and they hope I can fill the hole you left in that half of us that was yours.

Today, my beloved, I say your name in hope you can hear me, from where you are. I know you are somewhere. I know I will find you, dead or alive. Today, I say your name, because it is you I want. I say your name, because what you left behind, we cannot forget. You were that special someone that could brighten up the day. You were my special someone. No, no...

You are our special someone.

I can feel your warmth from this other place... I know you are here. I know you're listening to me, watching me... I can feel it. You can't hide it from me... I know you're still here. You'll always be with me.

In my heart and tears, my beloved, you shall remain,
Until the day comes where you will call me by your side.

I love you. We love you...