"Hey, I haven't seen you in school lately, you haven't been picking up your phone either. I've been worried about you! The cops have blocked the street to your neighborhood for the past two weeks! Autumn, what the hell is going on? Is everything okay?" I say attempting to choke back some tears, trying to breathe normally.
When you love somebody and don't hear from them, you expect the worst.
Especially with Autumn and whenever her father is home. Especially when after you get into a huge fight. Especially with Autumn having a past including abuse.
"Autumn! Answer me!...Damn it!" I say raising my voice.
I grip my hair, in frustration, hyperventilating.
"You, WHAT, Autumn?!"
I hear her sigh a sad sigh.
"TALK to me, Autumn!"
I slam my hand on my bedroom wall.
"Please!" I beg, feeling the sting in my eyes as the birth of tears begin.
"Do you need me to come over? I want to see you! I want to know that your safe!"
"Autumn, I saw COPS, by your HOUSE, with the CAUTION TAPE. I am hearing that there was an ATTEMPTED MURDER, and possession of DRUGS, in YOUR HOUSE. I have not HEARD from you or SEEN you. I HEAR that 'calm down, Aireck' tone in your VOICE. Do NOT tell me to calm down. TELL ME what is GOING ON!"
I flop myself on my bed holding my cell phone close to my ear. Hoping that she'll say something, ANYTHING.
"Aireck... I Love you.
I slowly begin to breathe easier. Those words with her voice...serenity.
"God, Autumn, I Love you too, listen, babe, I'm real sorry about what I said about your dad I-"
She interrupts me.
"I moved with my brother. And I can't be with you anymore, or ever again. I'm not going to be your future wife, I'm sorry."
I scoff. "Wha-"
"Hey fucktard, wake up."
I hear Austin's and Stephon's voices.
"Dude, he's KNOCKED."
"Nah, just...I don't know, pour some hot sauce up his nostrils!"
"Stephon... You're such a fucking genius." I hear Austin sarcastically say with a dash of annoyance.
I keep my eyes closed. I guess I fell asleep during lunch.
"I know, right? That's why maybe Christian might make a move on me and attempt to cheat on you. I don't know you guys are humpin' 'cause I'm pretty sure he likes SMART guys. But I guess he has a thing for guys with an 'F-' average."
"Fuck you." I hear the faint sound of napkin being tossed.
I pretend to sleepily awaken by yawning and stretching my arms.
"Why is that whenever I'm with you two, you guys are insulting each other?"
I rest my chin on my hand, making sure not to open my eyes the full way.
"Austin's on his period all the time. That's why."
"You're such douche, Stephon."
I laugh at their bickering.
First period was kind of a blur of red after Austin's ignorant remark. And I was pissed through out the other two periods leading up to lunch. So I should say, my whole morning is a blur of red. Yea, Austin's an asshole sometimes, but he's a good guy towards us most of the time. That, and I'm a pretty forgiving guy.
We hear a roar of laughter from one corner of the cafeteria. We all turn around to see Anita standing on top of a table, dancing (…?), entertaining a pretty big group of kids.
Why don't I have the courage to make a fool of myself and entertain like her?
Austin quickly turns back around, avoiding the sight of her.
"She's so stupid."
I make a face that Austin ignores.
He's such a bullshitter. She used to make him laugh all the time.
Stephon cannot help but laugh but then quickly changes the subject before Austin goes into rant mode.
Me and Stephon like Anita. She's an awesome listener when you just want to go on and on about something and not get lectured for it. She's a pretty good wing man to Stephon too. Whenever Jackie and him had problems, Anita would talk to her, and Jackie would be back in his arms. Now a days, she hooks Stephon up with any girl he sets his eyes on. She goes in for the conversations, then introduces Stephon, and it's a done deal.
She TRYS to hook me up but I get to nervous.
Social life isn't for me.
"So I tried texting Jackie last night..." Stephon says looking down at his "lunch".
"Oh lord... Why did you do that? You know she's not 'gonna answer you and your 'gonna end up feelin' like shit!" Austin says strongly.
"I just wanted to see how she's doing..."
I chime in. "You know he's right..."
"It's whatever though. She obviously don't care about me."
"I don't think she ever did." Austin says in an uncaring tone.
"Um...She definitely told me she'd always have something for me and we MIGHT have had a future when I got a little older. So she did care about me at ONE point."
"Right." Austin says rolling his eyes.
"Alright," Stephon says tossing down his spork.
And yes, their called "sporks". That plastic hybrid baby that spoons and forks make.
"What about you and Anita? I can sit here and say, you NEVER cared about her."
Oooooooh... Stephon knows better.
Austin stands up furiously.
"Don't drag MY PAST relationships into this sad, sob story that is your 'relationship', with Jackie. Anita doesn't mean SHIT to me anymore. She's TRASH to me NOW. But I made it CLEAR that when I WAS with her, she was my whole WORLD. You, Aireck, and EVERYONE saw it. Now compare me and Anita, to you and Jackie. You see the difference?"
"So how about our football team, eh?" I smile, miserably try to change the subject for the better.
Austin and Stephon stare down at each other for awhile. Eventually Austin sits down.
"We play Sacred Heart today." Stephon mutters.
"And how's your song comin' along, Austin?" I turn to him.
"Great." He says looking away, folding his arms.
I'm highly uncomfortable.
"...I'm thirsty. I'm gonna go buy a bottle of water from the vending machine."
I stand up. "You guy's want one?"
I sigh and look down. "Good talk." I begin to make my way past the cafeteria, waving to Anita as I pass her table.
I push my way through the doors to get to the machines a couple feet away from the cafeteria exit/entering doors.
I stop in front of the machine.
Autumn hated drinking water. She said it tastes like nothing. And she didn't like that. She always had headaches from dehydration. On a field day in 11th grade day she fainted went to the hospital. The doctors said she was just overheated and dehydrated. Ever since then I made her promise me that she'd drink a glass of water every day. I'd make her drink it in front of me. She always made this cute face of disgust.
I smile to myself.
I'm smiling. But my heart aches. I love the memories with her, but bringing them to mind has the price of pain to pay.
I hear yelling.
I look past the machines to see a couple arguing.
"No, Kayla! You're not doing this!"
"YOU'RE NOT, KAYLA! YOU'RE NOT DOING THIS!"
She stamps her foot.
"My dream school is in Sacramento, I got accepted. This Pennsylvania, you're going to school here. I already told you, my mom and dad divorced because of the distance with his job being in Jersey! I do not want that pain!"
He places his hands on her shoulders.
"What about NOW? You don't think this gonna hurt? Now that I know once the school year is over, I never see you again?"
She nervously plays with her fingers and looks down at her shoes.
"...you won't need to worry about the end of the school year. My mom agreed to send me to Sacramento with my Aunt for the rest of the school year...I'm only going here 'till Christmas break."
I feel a sting in my heart and eyes.
Please, not here in school.
He looks at her with wide eyes. He throws his hands up in defeat and begins to walk away without saying another word.
You fucking idiot... stop her...
"Devin!" She shouts after him.
"DEVIN!" His name from her lips fall on his deaf ears.
I sense a pain in her voice.
I can't watch this.
I run to the closest boys bathroom, sweating, I close my eyes.
I stare blankly at my phone. Trying to process what happened.
No, no... Nothing happened! I heard her wrong! And got disconnected! She didn't hang up after saying she can't be with me! The girl that I've cherished since meeting her, the girl that holds the key to my happiness and heart, the girl that says that she loves me more then life herself, didn't just hang up on me! No...No! Ha Ha!
I laugh out loud to myself as I await her call, confirming she was just disconnected and everything between us is okay!
I wait from 1 A.M. To 3 A.M.
Perhaps I should call her.
Ring, ring, ring.
"The AT&T subscriber you are trying to reach, is not available at this moment, please leave a message after the tone."
I feel a burning in my soul.
"The AT&T subscriber you are trying to reach, is not available at this moment, plea-"
"The AT&T subscriber you are trying to reach is not available at thi-"
Hang up. Chill out.
"The AT&T subscriber you are trying to reach-"
Hang up. Take deep breaths, you'll pass out if you don't.
"The AT&T subscriber you are try-"
Hang up. Why do you feel nauseous? You didn't eat anything bad today.
"The AT&T subscriber you ar-"
Hang up. Why are you crying? She says she loves you.
"The AT&T subscriber-"
"The AT&T subscriber you are trying to reach, is not available at this time, please, leave a message after the tone."
"Autumn...This Aireck... Your boyfriend, who loves you. This is your boyfriend, who will protect you. This is your boyfriend, who's always been there and will always BE there. This is your boyfriend, who you will call back. This is Aireck. The boy who does anything to make you smile. This is the boy who holds you when your scared. This is the boy who you come running to with your problems."
I pause. Covering my mouth, so she won't hear my quiet sobs.
"This is the boy who can't live without you. This is the boy who hopes this is a sick joke. This is the boy who WON'T live without you. This is the boy who NEEDS you, Autumn. I Know you wouldn't say goodbye like this, Autumn. Because t you promised the only way you'd say goodbye to me, is if, and listen to me closely, Autumn, I DIED."
I pat my body, making sure I'm not a rotting corpse. I chuckle.
I feel my mood violently take a dark turn from upset and panicked, to pure,
I place one hand on my hip "And I don't FEEL dead. So Autumn, do I need to make sure, that this is reality?"
I turn around to face a moonlit, gleaming shard of something in the corner of my room under a pile of clothes. It's as if its waving to me through the beams of moonlight, coming through my blinds.
"Do I need to, 'pinch' myself, to make sure this is real?"
I make my way to the object.
"Do I need to come back to reality?"
I stand directly above the object.
"These past two weeks, DIDN'T happen,"
I bend down to pick up the object.
"There was no stabbing,"
I stare at my portal to reality. To save me from the hell, I'm stuck in, and experiencing.
"You didn't move with your brother,"
I'm can't be stuck in this demented realm where Autumn tells me, she isn't with me.
"You are staying with me,"
Pinch me, I'm dreaming.
"And I'm not standing here with a knife to help me wake up from this dreadful nightmare."
Because if this ISN'T a dream,
"A knife, because..."
"I think I'll need more then a pinch, to wake up from this."
'Kay so... yeah. This chapter, shorter then the last. Busy with lots of school work X_X its crazy. Please R&R, critique accepted. But no criticism. Because if I am criticized, I will blow up a sheep. So help me Neptune, I will do it.