my bare feet made a little
pat pat pat sound as i walked
down the dark sidewalk
alone.

the rain was sprinkling,
barely enough to be
considered rain.
i loved it.

the streets were covered
with wet puddles.
the streetlights made pretty
reflections in the street.

(run faster)

everything seemed to be
in slow motion.
i could see everything in
such detail.

the air was chilly.
but it was just a
little further.
i could handle it.

i was shaking so bad.
the world seemed to be shaking.
my world was finally
(crumbling)

i finally got there.
your apartment.
i was sobbing.
screaming on the inside.

i climb up the stairs
in so. much. pain.
i reach your door.
and i get my key and open it.

you see me and run towards me.
your eyes were bloodshot and red.
you got to me and you touched me.
i flinched.

then your eyes got real big.
and tears started to form.
you started shaking your head.
you knew.

"oh no mariah.
tell me it didnt happen.
please mariah not again.
please tell me it didnt happen"

and i just looked at you.
just fucking looked.
i couldnt talk.
i didnt want to.

you just kept looking at me.
the tears started pouring
from your bloodshot
eyes.

i started crying harder.
i couldnt speak.
i was screaming,
but nothing was coming out.

"mariah its ok,
look, its david,
everythings gonna be ok.
shhhh dont cry, im here now."

but it wasnt ok.
it would never be
okay.
because it kept happening.

"mariah please.
just let me hold you.
i wont hurt you
i promise mariah."

and you drew me to you
and you put your arms around me
and you held me close
while i shook.

"mariah please tell me you called 911.
please tell me you did something!
you cant let this keep happening.
please baby, please."

i remember it so clearly.
the way he laughed when he saw me.
how he had a cigarette.
how he chose to burn me with it.

i remember how he smelt.
he smelt disgusting.
like smoke and
sex.

i hated how i couldnt run.
i was frozen.
i knew it was going to happen and
i was helpless to stop it.

he hurt me so bad.
he touched me and
ruined me.
over and over.

he spit on me.
he called me names.
he took away the last ounces
of self respect i would ever have.

he raped me.
over and over.
laughed at me
when i begged him to stop.

i still feel the way
all of my cuts
were torn open.
how it hurt worse then ever.

after he was done and gone,
i got up, and started towards david.
i noticed everything in such
clear detail.

my bare feet made a little
pat pat pat sound as i walked
down the dark sidewalk
alone.