The Day the Darkness Came

I don't know exactly why I started walking in the first place. I guess I was just looking for something, anything, to get away. The walls were closing in on me and I needed to escape the harsh reality that had become my life. To break free of the chains that had bound me since that day. I needed to keep fighting.

It was a terrible night for a walk; wind and snow swirled around me and chilled me to the bone. It was already dark out and the street seemed ominous, lit only by street lamps. It all just reminded me of that day. That horrendous day that had left me broken. I absentmindedly traced my long, silvery scars. Suddenly burning with heat, I shed my pea coat. I threw it onto a snow bank and couldn't help but notice how beautiful the bloody red garment looked against the pure white snow. I trudged along wearing only my thin white night gown. Even if there were anyone else outside tonight they wouldn't have noticed me now. With my pale skin and white shift I blended perfectly into the snow. All that was left of me was a ghostly silhouette.

I had no idea where I was going. I just wandered aimlessly for what seemed like hours. I eventually heard the sound of running water. I stopped walking, stood in the middle of the street and just listened. It seems foolish now, but it just felt right at the moment. That beautiful quiet trickling noise entranced me. It stripped me of my common sense. It seemed like the world was paused. I'm not sure how long I just stood there listening, it seemed like an eternity. The noise gradually started to get louder, until it turned into a deafening roar and then it wasn't even water anymore. It was the too familiar sound of my screams; my cries for help; my desperate sobs. I frantically covered my ears and ran away but the screams still echoed in my head.

I buried my face in my frigid palms but it made me feel suffocated. The pitch-blackness overwhelmed me. I knew that terrible blackness well. It had haunted me ever since that dreadful blindfold was tied so tight over my eyes. It was so dreadfully smothering, threatening to overtake me. I tried to fight it. I tore my hands away from my eyes but it didn't change anything. My head was spinning – I felt disconnected from myself. I struggled for breath. My body started to shake. I tried to yell, but my throat felt like it was on fire. It reminded me of the burn of chloroform. This last tie to that day was too much.

My legs gave out underneath me and I fell like a marionette whose strings had been cut by a cruel master who had no use for me anymore. There was a loud sickening crack as my body collided with the frozen pavement. A sharp pain rang out in my head; it was a different pain though, not one from the inside like the others. I felt the warmth of blood pool around my body, but inside coldness spread through me like a disease. It inched slowly through my veins and then my arteries. Eventually, as I knew it would, it spread to my heart. Its icy skeleton fingers took ahold of it and squeezed out the warmth; the life. My heart tried to fight against it but it was useless. It gave out after a few feeble attempts at beating and surrendered like my mind already had.

For a moment I just laid there, the coldness haven completely taken over, staring at the fading night sky above. I wondered vaguely what they would say when they found me. They had all seen it coming but I knew they'd lie. They always seem to.

Eventually the coldness morphed into numbness, and then sweet, beautiful nothingness. For the first time since that day it all stopped. My eyelids fluttered shut and all the memories, all the pain had been swept away by the waves of nothingness. I was no longer haunted by his terrible mocking jeers. I could no longer feel the burning of the deep wounds left from that day. The horrible, relentless darkness wasn't closing in on me anymore. It was all washed away by the waves of nothingness. I couldn't feel anything at all. It was perfect. I was free.