The girl behind the smile.

Why am I even living? What's the point when there's nobody here to love me? I don't have my Dad's, I don't have my brother. I don't even have myself. I hate myself. I'm worthless and stupid; at least that's what Jon tells me. He picks on me all the time. Every chance he gets he's at my throat. He says I'll never amount to anything and that I deserve to be alone. Do I? Do I really not deserve anyone? I guess so because Jon's not the only person that tells me that. My Uncle Ian says it too; when he comes home from the bar with the stench of alcohol wafting from his body. I miss living with my Dad's; things were better then. They loved me, my brother Jake was still home and he loved me. Then things changed. They were out on their anniversary dinner when they were attacked simply because they weren't normal. What is normal anyways? They loved each other more than any straight couple I'd ever seen but they were killed because of it! Not fair. And with my brother in the military I've had no one. Well there is one person; Felicity. But Felicity would never understand me. She's so naïve and oblivious. And she still, no matter how bad it gets, will side with Jon. She has no idea that every time she does I cut just a little deeper. Just a little longer. Are you surprised? Probably not. The messed up little girl cuts herself! There you go. I said it. Does it change anything? No. He still hates me. I still don't know why. It can't be because I had two Dads. I know people have had a problem with it and bullied me in the past but Jon isn't that heartless. Is it because I'm ugly? Am I too dumb? Too smart? If someone knows please tell me because right now, I don't want to be here. Yeah, you heard me. I'm done. Done with feeling worthless, done with being bullied everyday, done with life. Tonight. Tonight I'll finally be free from the cage my life has become. I hope Jon knows what he's done to
me. He's ruined my life.