Failure

You brought me down
While I deluded myself
That you really did love
Every part of me
Why did you have to lie?

Now I'm staring down
Ashes upon ashes
My hopes are curling smoke
Any will to continue is nonexistent
All you can say to me is
"You can do better."
What I hear is
"You're a failure."

Now I believe your words
So who really won
Here in the end?
You're still waiting
The final match in hand
No wood left to burn
Only weak twigs
Clinging to my broken self

I want to walk away
But I only stand still
I want to scream
"Someone save me!"
When I can't even breathe
I want a way out
Under the razor blade
When it no longer controls me

Left to my fading ghosts
Drowning in my increasing fears
Not all of this is real
Yet I can still feel
Panic rising
Eyes scanning
Danger all around

Looking into the mirror
Hating my own existence
Wishing all translucent possibilities
To vanish with my dreams
Wanting an unhealthy impossibility
Fighting the distortion within

With everything I pour into you
All the lies and sickening mockery
I should be the best of the best, to you
But the only voice running in my head
States that I'm merely a failure