ambitions

the thing about being smart is that you understand. you have all these dreams and so much possibility that it's almost blinding and the sky is lit with the stars of opportunity. it's beautiful as you watch with lie-filled eyes, daring to dream.

in your mind, you build this life that you want to live. something perfect, lovely, wonderful. Bathing in the waters of a world outside reality - if you'd have stayed, you would've seen the stars slowly burning to death as the possibilities thin. when you remerge, it hits you like a train.

and it's awful. you're a midget and the stars are on the top shelf; too high to reach, so you aim lower. and lower. until you can reach without stretching. and you're okay. okay. okay. but you'll always know that what was on the top shelf would've made you happier, had you made the effort. the regret is a burden you just have to take.

you become bitter, tired. you remember all these ambitions you had - but you didn't strive enough, didn't have enough will to see it through. you wish you did. you could've been great.

but you aren't.

and that's that.