soooo... hey! My name is Sarah and im just gonna be keeping this as a kind of diary thing as I have depression and its nice to think that some people might care about what happens in my life so you can read it if you want and give me feedback or whatever!
Today was like any other day I suppose. School was horrible (as usual) and to make that little bit worse i had to do social dancing in PE. No boys picked me so the teacher had to put me with one. The boy laughed at me and joked with his friends about how ugly I am. I went home and cried. Its only ever the pretty, popular girls that get picked. Never me. I thought about phoning Catriona tonight (big cousin) as i was thinking about self harming again. I decided not to as I thought she would be too busy with her own life. I've avoided the school nurse twice now and everytime I walk past my guidance teacher I feel as if she knows I have been avoiding her. I just really hate talking about it to people who i dont trust. I find it really hard to trust people... I feel i cant even tell my best friends (Eleanor, Morgan, Antonia, Mairi, Zoe and Nicola) about how i feel which sucks. I hate it when people pay too much attention to me yet people seem to think that self harming is an attention seeking technique... how wrong they are. I try so hard to cover it up i cant even go swimming anymore without panicking about people seeing the scars. Yesterday it was 2 weeks until my birthday. It felt wrong to be excited about something for once, as if i wasnt allowed to be excited. Okay guys so thats my story for today will try and post something 3-4 times a week for those of you who are interested! Stay Strong