My first love
not love
an obsession
an all consuming need

what's that?
plans gone
at the drop of his hat

Every waking moment
filled with him
every dream contained him

I fell pregnant at nineteen
had fell for him at thirteen
I had a beautiful son
he became my new obsession

My beau was no longer
my sole reason for living
no longer (him) all my attention giving

He was jealous of his own son
something even now I can't comprehend

He never hit me before
this being that I adored
for months he wore me down
on my face a worried frown

I had to go home to mum
tail between my legs
got my own place sorted
all plans with him aborted

He went on to do evil acts
I'm not privy to all the facts
he died alone in a prison cell
couldn't handle his private hell

He's left a scar on my heart
one from which I don't want to part
because he had me beguiled
and gave me my darling child

He's a ghost from the past
that I feared would haunt me forever
now I rarely think of him if ever