Complete and Utter Darkness (written by me around 2006)
It ultimately arises dark.
Trapped there is no way out.
The hole inside you is your mark.
No resort to plea and shout.
Stranded within discovering you are imprisoned.
Ready to go out of your mind.
Solitary you feel like you're abandoned by means of sin.
Recognizing you are in a bind.
Another grasp of the fist.
Once again you shred and sever your flesh.
You listen to complete silence.
And suddenly already feeling like a mess.
Then like the strike of a lightning bolt hitting you.
You heed a slight voice in your head.
Controlling and confusing it gets louder and you don't know what to do.
Hearing it you would rather be dead.
You rip your hair out by every strand.
Salty tears and crimson blood emanate down your face.
You're dehydrated and exhausted craving to take a stand.
Wait, you can't, you feel too much disgrace.
The black cold abyss of loneliness.
Disturbingly complete in every way.
You have let in this utter madness.
Now you're giving up and that is all you have to say.
(Author's Note: This poem was written when I was going through much mental and emotional abuse. I was ready to give up, but my son kept me here.)