I Am Not Ready To Say Goodbye (written by me in 2007)

Pleading, screaming, crying.
Inside I feel like dying.

All these thoughts in my head,
The outcome is my dread.

You take my sanity.
Only with your vanity.

I feel like I am going out of my mind.
It is not easy to unwind.

I only want resolve.
These problems to dissolve.

In my nightmares,
I see my skin shred and tear.

Yell at me, go ahead.
In other words, I'd rather be dead.

Rest, close my eyes, forever sleep.
Even the crows begin to weep.

Lay me six feet underneath.
Please, give me peace.

Place the flowers on top my grave.
All my love I know I gave.

Each and every word said.
Brings throbbing pain instead.

I can't take the abuse.
Telling you is no use.

You say you hear me.
You tell me you see.

You imply that you're trying.
I think you're lying.

Forget, forget, just forget.
Regret, regret, feel the regret.

Take it away, take it away, just take it away.
Do I stay, will I stay, can I stay?

These are the questions that linger.
You are the sorrow bringer.

How can I trust you,
When you do what you do.

I'm so afraid of going on.
But I only do so for my son.

Help me, someone, please.
I want my suffering to ease.

Take the hurt.
Throw away this dirt.

I don't want to face,
All this disgrace.

I struggle within.
My thoughts are running again.

Why, why?
Do I want to die.

For I'm not ready to say goodbye.
I am not ready to say goodbye.

(Author's Note: When I wrote this I was going through a lot of suffering and turmoil in my life.)