I died that day. I know I did. I'm alive, to some extent, but I'll always be dead. I have no heart beating, no air to breathe and yet I still live on. My memory was wiped, but something went wrong in the system. I could still remember bits and pieces. Which is, by the way, basically all that's left of me.
All I can remember from that day was watching myself. I thought I was dead, Everything went by too fast. I saw myself with dark pink tears, a mixture of gravel and blood. My dress was ripped, My right arm and leg ripped more, and my face wasn't recognized by even myself. I couldn't even see through one of my eyes, later I would find out I went blind there. Who'd have guessed? It was only torn up with a large chunk taken out of it. I don't remember the pain. My mind suppressed the memory. But I know it hurt, feeling the car flip over, falling out and having two tons of rusted metal fall on top of me. I felt bones crush, the sound still rings in my ears. The flames licked at my face and hair before I was picked up.
If I had known I would die, I wouldn't have worn a dress. Evan, my daddy, had suggested it. I can't see his face anymore and I blame my self for suppressing the memory of him. But I don't think I fell out of the car - He pushed me.
I didn't always remember how I died. Right before the Change, when I was at my death bed, something happened. The men with the white coats injected me with something. I couldn't feel pain anymore, I heard my heart monitor stop beating. It felt like I was falling towards the ground even as I stool still. It's the most sterile, uncomfortable feeling I've ever known.
The first thing I remember from after the change was a voice. It was saying, "Come on, K-00. Wake up now." The voice was hearty and smooth. Suddenly. I realized I was laying down but I couldn't open my eyes. I tried to tell her no, my name isn't K-00 it's . . . But then I stopped. The words trying to form came out as choked noises, like something prevented me from saying it. I felt a cool hand brush my forehead. It tucked thick strands of bangs behind my ear, but wait, my hair is all one length! Did it burn in the fire? I thought frantically. I moved my left arm a bit. I couldn't feel almost my entire right side. Maybe I am dead. Half dead, at least.
The voice tumbled into me again. "It's OK, K-00, you can move. Just not yet. I need to inject a SMT . . ." The voice faded a bit as I heard the clacking of heels into the distance. The echo made me think the room was large and formidable, and it was. I squirmed a bit where I was. I felt wires hooked to me everywhere. Under me was crinkling sounds with just a slight texture. A Hospital bed? At the time, I couldn't remember. I was only six years old.
A short while later, the clacking of heels grew louder. I heard short raspy breaths as a sharp point poked into my forehead. Alarmed, my left eye shot open. I put opening pressure on my right eye but I felt something rip. It was agonizing for just a second, but as the needle left the top of my head the pain faded. I felt all my muscles relax against the fabric below.
My blurry vision cleared up, and suddenly all my senses were working again. I could smell chemicals that made me feel sick, but in a good way if that's possible. In front of me stood a tall woman with a black updo, dark almost black eyes and frameless square glasses. She had a white lab coat on, full of needles and pens, one of which was writing at considerable speed at a clip board. I made a slight noise, quiet but enough for her to switch her gaze.
"Hello, K-00." She said with a warm smile. It made me want to trust her. "My, you have the prettiest eyes. I've never seen that color before." My eye color? Suddenly, I couldn't remember. Anything. My mind was pick pocketed of memories.
"What . . . color . . " I tried to continue, my voice a humble squeak. My throat burned just talking.
The woman set her clipboard down with a smile. As I looked around, I started to notice the building. It was like a skyscraper with only one floor, except in front of me, far away there were glass windows. I could see many people like the woman, lab coats and clipboards, working on other things. There seemed to be hundreds of them. And . . . some of them were flashing light on the strangest of creatures.
"Your eyes," She leaned over me, resting an elbow next to me on the bed. I could see now I was wearing a dark purple, almost navy zip-up jumpsuit. It was too large, more than fitted for me. I guessed my small size wasn't carried here. "Are a beautiful violet color. Violet! Your right eye was a bit damaged in the incident, but don't worry, K-00, It was replaced." She smiled deeply at me, as if she had already loved me.
I felt a pulsing where my right eye used to be. I still felt an eye there, but it wasn't warm. It was cold from the temperature in the sterile, unmoving air. As she looked at me I stared back at her, and realized her eyes must have been reflecting off of something. Up close, there were a uniform gray, like something out of a colorless film. What did she say my name is?
"I," I cleared my throat, "Named Kay Oh Oh?" I blinked both eyes. When did my right eye become free? I still felt a pulsing. I couldn't see out of it.
Her smile faded ever so slightly that I barely caught it. "No, sweetie, it's your designation. Don't you remember your name?" I shook my head. I couldn't remember anything.
She tilted her head. Small black strands of curls fell down to frame her face. "Well, I wasn't told. My name is Kagami." She blinked her eyes, fluttering her eyelashes. She looked like an asian princess, like those really pretty anime girls. "I'll give you a name. Let me think . . ." She turned and walked to a table a few yards away. I tried to sit up straight. Wires poked around as I moved, shifting into the new position with me. It felt a lot like needles.
Kagami came back around and handed me a mirror. Before I took it, she retracted and bit her lip. "Maybe first, I should tell you something." She looked back to the many square windows of people before speaking, leaned over and tilted her head upward. "They changed you, you're not fully human anymore. They made yo-" Her was interrupted by a loud yell. Quickly she stepped away from the bed. Cla-click CLACK! Her heels hit the tiled floors. A very large yet short man, just above half Kagami's height came stomping over, making very gruff hand gesticulations as his booming voice spoke. He was very red in the face, looking like a bulbous tomato. I chuckled a bit, smiling for the first time.
He turned to me, and I quickly straightened my expression. He glared at me with so much hate that I wondered if I did something. Kagami spoke to him softly in a language I could not understand. He replied back, barking what seemed like orders to her before stomping off. I heard him grumble and curse the word 'Mirror' to her.
"He seems cross today," Kagami smirked and turned to me. "Sorry you had to hear that. He's always angered at me for one reason or another. Think nothing of it, though."
I tilted my head. "Mirror?" She looked to me with a furrowed brow but softened her expression, as if realizing something important.
"Kagami means 'Mirror' in Japanese. Our gods are said to live in mirrors, giving kind and strong people beautiful appearances while giving lesser kind a repulsive picture." She exhaled before continuing. "He insists calling me something English, having I had convinced him I only speak that language and would only work if he knew it." Suddenly, I shivered. I didn't realize before, but in this large room, we're the only two people. I wouldn't dare look in the mirror she gave me, it would just remind me of my vacant mind. I didn't want to see myself, but I didn't know why.
"Kagami," I said, my voice shaking, "Do you ever get . . . lonely here?
She stared at me for a long time, sitting on the edge of the bed with her legs crossed. Kagami was so elegant, mature though she seemed only around twenty. She deeply smiled and put her arms around me. I blinked, confused by this act but didn't protest. It felt good, whatever it was. I noticed what care she took in not touching what on me was covered by thick tan colored bandage wrapping. "Mirror," Kagami whispered in my ear, stroking my hair, "You're never alone. Don't forget that as long as you live."