Hey guys, so this is something I had to get off my chest, I'm not giving out any names just because I don't want to. I hope you enjoy my fucked up life.
I've known you for a few months but its felt like years. You walked in to the room that first day and I couldn't keep my eyes off you, I didn't know why. I kept trying to not look over in your direction, sometimes I would hope that when I looked you were looking towards me as well. All these feelings were new to me. I didn't know what to think of them. Eventually it all clicked and I realized; I fell for you, a freshman, not even the age of fifteen at the time. But I didn't care. I wanted to meet you fully so bad, in the mornings sometimes, I would tell myself 'I'm going to introduce myself to her today.' But I would end up backing out because of nerves. Eventually I got the courage to talk to you, I was nervous as hell, when I first introduced myself, I thought you didn't like me, but looking back at that now, that's just how you are. Now were best friends hanging out all the time at school and talking over text. When R first told me that she saw you and M holding hands at the movies, I told myself it wasn't true and that she must have seen wrong or something. Of course I didn't tell her that though. Then came the day when B told me that everyone knew something was going on in-between you two. Again I thought it was just an assumption but something in the back of my mind told me that they were right. You remember when I asked you for your number? I had been thinking about that the whole week. Wanting to text you, to talk to you more than we were. It had taken me the whole week to get enough courage to ask you for something so simple as a phone number. At first I thought it was going to be like anybody that I got a phone number from, just another number on my contact list that I never called or texted. But then we started texting each other, a lot. I always got happy when you texted me. Then you told me that you and M were dating but not 'officially'. My heart broke. Then you told me that he had wanted to get to know each other better and that you were devastated about it. That you loved him. That hurt worse than the first, but I knew that I had to push aside my feelings to help you. Don't get me wrong, I was happy to help you out. That meant your happiness even if it was putting my own to the side for a while. When you told me what you did for the last boy you liked I sat in shock for a while, the one person who I thought would least do that, did and I wanted to find this guy and get him back for making you feel like that. You probably never noticed but every once and a while when I was texting you about M I would drop little hints, hoping you would notice but you never did. I guess in a way it was a good thing. When we had that conversation that lasted till one, if it had been someone else I would have said night to them around ten maybe eleven, but it was you and you needed help, so I stayed up with you until you went to bed. I wanted to make sure you weren't left hanging because I fell asleep on you or I cut the conversation. I knew if we kept going till you said you were going to bed and going to bed happy I knew that there was a good chance that you wouldn't cry yourself to sleep.
When you told me that M cut it off for good, I almost had my friend who I was with at the time go find him and run him over. I was so mad at him, I had put up with his bull shit one time, and I know what type of distress he can cause to a girl. Only you making me promise that I wouldn't hurt him made me stop. I'm pretty sure if I had seen him before that I would have knocked him out. But I held myself back for you, because you had asked me to back down.
The next day seeing you at lunch, and seeing that you were about to cry, made my heart break. I wanted to pull you aside and just let you talk though your feelings with me, but it was a little awkward with that other saxophone guy standing there (I don't remember his name).
When you were talking about falling into depression I couldn't bear it. All I wanted to do was make sure that you kept a smile on your face. Not a fake one but a true smile. I was glad that you were getting better day by day, slowly coming out of the depressed state you were in on that Monday. By the next Wednesday, you were back hanging with the group and not hiding in the band room, talking and smiling. Even though M was being a total dick.
Even if I don't eventually tell you about this, I'm glad that we became friends and always know that I will be a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, and one of the best friends one can have.
Everything you just read was real, so leave a comment, and thanks for reading.
-Fight for what's right and be a SolderOfLove Peace!