I'm falling, falling, falling

I stand and I'm falling

Down, down…sinking

Is this all? Is this it?

I live like I'm alive

But inside I'm dead

All I do is survive

I hate this in me

My heart hurts inside

It's sinking and falling

In whom can I confide?

How can I share this?

My dreams are filled with terror

I slept but found only dread

I awoke. Will this last forever?

Why must the right thing be so hard

I dreamt that I had to do

The one thing I couldn't

To choose between

the complex and the simple

Consciousness brought no more peace

I felt as though I was still asleep

Still dreaming… will this cease?

Will my torment come to an end?

I'm dying dying dying

I'm dying inside

My mind is crying

My heart is grieving

I must take off this mask

I'm covering up what they hate

I have to do this and fast

Before my heart dies and all is lost

I've covered up my pain

I've locked it away as though in a dungeon

But the beast has gone insane

And I panic

I'm afraid afraid afraid

If I tell, they'll hate me

And it will pierce me like a blade

Like a knife driven to the heart

Why must doing the right thing

Cause so much pain and suffering

So much agony and anguish

So much death and fear

I sat on my bed and bowed my head

I prayed to my God for help and aid

I told my anxiety, my fear, my dread

I can't hear an answer

I feel like dying

My heart is sighing

Is it breathing it's last?

Shall I die this night?

I'm dirty dirty dirty


I'm crying out

My sin is hidden

I've been hiding from myself

Every friend I thought I had has left

I'm alone with my guilt

My actions have left me bereft

Brokenness is all I see

Death is my surroundings

My mind is my escape

I've gone through a thousand drownings

Where did they all go?

Did they see my sin?

Did they see right through me

Into my mind, through the grin

Past the smile, past the mask

Past the coverings and shields

Into the darkest depths of heart and soul

Did they see the black fields?

If they did they missed it all

They've been lied to and deceived

The blackness is just a cloud

It's what's beneath that that must be believed

See, I am not the sins that I commit

Just because I'm weak doesn't mean

That I don't want to be strong

But it doesn't negate the obscene