you
stand tall
like a mountain
range and i cannot
reach you, meet your
eyes with mine i wonder
why i ever tried to see
inside your soul,
through green
pools and
undying fire
you're like a swamp
cool and unemotional, nobody feels for you
i don't think i do, in fact, i think you're just another
in the chain-link fence holding me here, emotional, slow,
unambitious despite the pressure bearing down, it's so heavy
and you like to murmur words in the night, tell me stories of
day and night wars, fantasy tales, fables and the lonely
girls and boys you'd caught before, laughing at their
misfortune, criticizing their form between pressed
sheets and spread legs, gossiping about their
dead loved ones, like spiders beneath the
shoes you polish so well, lancer boy
and lancer man, you have not a
word to speak to me or any-
one else who dares quest
-ion your motives, as the
beat picks up and you
begin to choke on your
own bodily fluids, cum
in your mouth, another
putrid boy as bad as you
shaped like a monster as
horrible as you like to think
you are yourself, it's funny to
me, that you can't read her eyes
you can't tell her what to do, can't
tell anyone, you have no power
yet you still place all your bets
on unfed horses you still place
against the models and drug
dealers you still call friends
when you know, to them
you're just client and sir
they can't even remem
-ber your names, and
can you, even? do
you remember what
it's like outside? how
the sun feels on your
skin, or is the only heat
you get from friction
when his hands rub
you off again? anoth
-er night of catering
to your instincts, to
your insides, the beast
you've become, be gone
you're not welcome here in
my bed anymore, your mother
says, she screams as the plate you
threw shatters beside her head, shrap
-nel taking out her good eye, she's blind
now, maybe you can pretend you're okay again, live the
lies, live alone within yourself, let the powder in your sinuses reach
your blood, cutting and caressing, warm embrace of a needle, inject the anti-life
antibodies, antichrist you're acused in court of living like a savage, when all along you were

just

a

lonely

boy

(in
desperate
need
of
nothing
at
all)