Here I am again. Alone. Sometimes it feels- scratch that, it IS lonely here. You want to know why people do stupid things? It's because they want to see if anyone will notice them. Even for a while. Some say it's attention seeking, but for a lot of people, they didn't have the attention to begin with. So they search and search hoping to find that one person who might just see them. But you know something? We called off the search long ago, and we're returning back there, where we know we can't be dismissed so easily.
Si were back here and we've been left alone. Alone without a second thought. But being left in your own world, with your own thoughts, is a dangerous place. Not one of us ever thought we'd venture to this place of unknown thoughts and secrets we ourselves don't even know. Yet here we are, and this is where we'll stay until someone saves us. Or that Evil Angel decides to take pity on us.
Maybe one day we'll figure it out. But for now, we'll continue to suffer, not physically of course, we wouldn't want people to know our pain, to burden them with such nonsense. But in our mind where the walls are black and is peeling. Where the clouds gather in a sea of despair and leave no trace of light. Only that painful spotlight that cradles the only thing there: ...you. Where your constantly reminded of the loneliness that threatens to swallow you whole everyday. Maybe it's not perfect here, but it's enough to know we're strong, that if someone was to follow us here, they wouldn't survive. Not like we survive. We survived our pain and we became strong.
We could've let someone in, to help us find that light, but no one answered our cries of agony. No one saw through the bitter mask we made, to protect ourselves. So we're here, in this cold room, cold that find our hearts, our lungs and stabs sharp ice through them. Yet we're still here. We're still breathing, still thinking, still lost in whirlpool of fleeting hope and our confused mind. A mind poisoned by loneliness that no one wanted to fill, and drives the poison deeper, down our throats and in our ears. Blocking out the sound. We don't want anyone now, now we're lost and we like it.
We like this void of self hate that keeps us going. Because we have no one else to hate, so we inflict it upon ourselves... So here I am, I'm back again, and I'm staying for good.