Hello! This is the first possibly long length fiction I have written, and it's also a crackfic! Some parts may be left out, some plot holes may appear, some mistakes may slip through, so please correct me if there is any mistakes included in this story. So, enjoy if you please!

If you have never done anything with your life, you may want to take notes.


This is a tail of a dragon named Kcvkjqr. And in a town near the cave of the dragon named Kcvkjqr, lived a ordinary man named Eric. Eric lived a plain and boring life, from when he was born, to the present day. He longed for something exciting to happen in his middle aged life. Let's start with what happened on the 3rd Friday of November in the year Unimportant.

A beautiful bright and sunny day shone down on the town near the cave of the dragon named Kcvkjqr. Eric was just getting ready to go to work as a pizza delivery guy. He whistled as he went down the carpet stairs and went into the kitchen, where he made himself some simple, plain, boring, old toast. After eating the aforementioned food, he walked out of his house's front door and closed it behind him. Suddenly Kcvkjqr the dragon swooped down and carried Eric off in its claws.

Eric screamed as he was flying high above the town near the cave of the dragon named Kcvkjqr, who was flying towards his cave near the town near the cave of the dragon named Kcvkjqr. "No, please Kcvkjqr!" Eric cried. "Don't eat me, I still haven't lived a full and exciting life yet! I had never even married yet!"

Kcvkjqr responded by dropping him in the forest, which was located near the to- forget it. The fearsome dragon roared and flew away to kidnap people and then drop them in inconvenient places.

Eric landed on the forest floor, which thankfully, had a pile of leaves on it. "Phew! Thank goodness for these pile of leaves! If it weren't for them, I would've gone splat!" He got up and dusted himself off, when a bunny hopped in front of him. It's adorable cute fluffiness was too hard for Eric to resist. "Aww, look at the little tiny bunny creature thing!" he cooed. He picked the bunny up, oblivious to the foam surrounding it's mouth, and cuddled him.

The bunny grew agitated and bit him on the left ear. Eric screamed and dropped the evil rabies monster, who hopped away to report to the Rabies Master his latest victim.

Eric clutched his left ear and rolled around on the ground, hollering in pain. "Oh rainbows and sunshines!" he cursed. "Lollipops and gumdrops! Sugar cookies and vanilla muffins!"

An old lady walking nearby heard his curses and whapped him on his side with her Gucci handbag, not caring about his cries of pain from the rabies infection. "Such vulgar language! I'll have to report you to the authorities!" She got out the latest Semsong Universe smart phone and dialed the police to arrest Eric.

"Hello? Yes, I have a man here who is shouting obscenities all over the forest, and it's quite unpleasant to listen to while taking a relaxing stroll after Kcvkjqr dropped you into a forest." The old lady listened for a bit. "Here, listen." She held her phone closer to Eric.

"Oh sweet kittens of fluffiness! Magical ponies from Rainbow World!" Eric screamed.

The voice on the phone gasped. The old lady brought her phone back to her ear. "You see? Not very pleasant at all is it? Alright, thanks a lot. Bye-bye."

Shortly after, two police cars drove in (yet there were no roads in the forest). Eric continued to cry in agony.