Is This What You Wanted?

By Andrea Cox

In the darkness I sit

wondering and wondering

do I truly mean so little?

That you would go and throw away

What little happiness we have

on this hell called Earth

I wonder, do you think of me?

How much this hurts me?

I have become numb

Unable to feel

Unable to love

Is this what you wanted?

All these questions spin around in my head

I scream and scream, praying for someone to answer

But this isnt a fairytale

there isn't a happy ending

Not for me

Not for you

So instead I will stay in the shadows

dieing everyday a little more

And not being able to show anyone

Is this what you wanted?

For me to become cold

building up walls around my heart

Just so I can never be hurt

inside of me is nothing but darkness and despaire

But you can't see it

You refuse to see it

I guess it would be different if I was her

but I am not

there is no guilt for me

No remorse for how I was hurt

What does it matter anyway?

I am useless

No more than a maid, a servent, a slave

The chains become tighter everyday

But I will earn my freedom

Is this what you wanted?