Deeper than my soul can go
My Lord has gone and all I know
Already known, and my despair
Is but distrust for all His care
And this distrust is but a creed
By the Devil to mock my need
And taunt me by my blinded eyes
With the loss of all I prize
But not undone, my soul is still
Surrendered to the Father's will
And if I ever lose this sight
Dark indeed must be my plight
Which I create for my own end
Not done by Whom I should depend
Upon. But I trust Him, for I know indeed
He has answered all my need.
Not once but many times again
I've borne, but never was my pain
A tenth of what my Lord has known
Reaping what my sin has sown.
Tho' once I thought, unique to me
Was all the hurt and misery
For who indeed could understand
That misty, groaning, shadowed land?
Who indeed could walk my road
Along with me, and bear the load
I only bear? All I comprehend
Unique. Beyond the reach of friend.
Beyond the reach of even words
Upon a page, although I purge
Away my passions thus. I find
E'n more within my mind.
A well, a fountain opened up
To taste the gall on which I sup
That mockery, to self-express
What I would not dare confess
My strength in words! Ah yes, indeed
Thus the passions written, freed.
But what behind? For every word
Must meaning have or be absurd.
And cheap to find upon a page
Is wisdom or opinions sage
Of men. Who have from dawn of time
Outwritten any poem of mine.
I've tasted of that earthen well
Within where all opinion dwell
That man may give, and paid the price
They ask for heeding their advice
Thus turning all my eyes and ears
From Truth, to only what appears
And pleases men. But I found they lied
And by their folly many died.
That tainted well not fit to taste
And all my mind is put to waste
In slavery. Far too great a cost
And nothing gained for what is lost.
I turned away from words of men
Within or yet without my ken
My child's heart reached out for hope
And found it not in human scope
For I had need! And on it drove
Me to find that Treasure Trove
Wherein is stored the Substance sought
The Truth which over men have fought
Elixer of all Life, to drink
From this Well, stand on the brink
And cusp of our Eternity
And find an Answer to my plea.
An Answer greater than I knew
Encompassing all! Substantial. True.
Wisdom not of man, and real
Enough to pardon, and to heal.
I wanted more than man could give-
I wanted Hope wherewith to live.
I wanted Life itself to be
My passport to Eternity
My life was empty, and was vain
Despair a mockery of pain
My soul, a broken wounded thing
Without a voice wherewith to sing
God granted healing from His Book
And simple faith was all it took
In simple Words, which out of love
God sent to men from up above.
Not far from me, but close at hand
The Truth I sought to understand
Not hard to find, but clear as day
Once I bowed my head to pray
His Spirit and my soul combined
In battle for my heart and mind
Which once surrendered to His care
Put the lie to my despair
I found His Truth sufficed for all
My pain and troubled mind. That Call
Once heard had given purpose; life
And stilled my heart of inward strife.
My Grounded Hope is strong and sure
Despite all tempests I endure
My passions may be changing; weak
But not the Truth whereof I speak