Someone

AN: This poem is.... weird.

I don't think you realize,
How much it hurts me,
When I look into the mirror,
And see someone I don't know.
Someone I don't understand,
Someone who is sad,
Someone who is crying,
Someone with a slit down the side of their wrists,
A person with no color to their world,
Someone who has tears running down their cheeks,
Someone who is lost.
A child who is lost,
In a world of twists and turns,
And rights and wrongs,
With no compass to lead them.
It really hurts to look out side and only see clouds,
And the rain… and the dark,
To not see the sun,
To not hear the birds,
To look down at your feet and wonder,
"Why am I even here today? Maybe life's a cruel joke on me."
And suddenly you are thankful for death.
And hate yourself inside because you think this way.
I don't think you understand,
How hard it is to look up once in a while,
To sing a song once in a while,
To smile.
It's hard to keep on going when all the time your mind and your heart says,
"Stop."
It's not worth it anymore,
When people laugh at you,
And smash your dreams,
Like a porcelain doll,
Shattered across the floor.
Maybe one day it won't hurt anymore.
Or maybe one day it will just not matter.
Maybe one time or another I can look up and smile,
For once at least,
Or laugh until I cry,
Or smile until my cheeks freeze,
Or look up so long that my neck goes stiff with joy.
Then again our days are numbered on this earth,
And I'm still wondering if my chance will ever come,
Still wondering when I'll have my seconds in the sun,
Wondering how long it will be until I do,
Thinking about the story of the ugly duckling,
Turning into a swan and becoming beautiful.
Then I look at the slits on my wrist,
And my reflection in the mirror,
And wonder when I'll finally be,
Someone.