A/N Hii. I'm watching Hetalia Axis powers... Please enjoy. Oh, and this is some kind of major chapter so yeah. Like, to celebrate it being the 10th chapter, it's gonna be extra long.
I'm gonna do it today... I'm really gonna do it today... I want to see Devon now...
I opened the door. And I saw nobody. By my gate was nobody. There was nobody there. Nobody...
Vampire and I
Confessions and Confessing
By time I reached school, the bell had already rang. I didn't have time to look for Devon. I walked to class, with the usual stares on me. But most girls got uninterested after seeing that Devon wasn't with me. I wouldn't blame them either...
Devon wasn't in class. Not that the teacher found it weird. I didn't either. After what he said to me yesterday, even if it was Devon, he wouldn't be able to come up and say 'yo' like nothing's happened.
How I wished that could have happened.
Lunch bell rang. Nobody came up to me to throw me over a wall or anything. Everybody was just running around preparing for 'the first day'. And none of the girls came to poke me. Amazingly. Michelle just waved a hi to me and hurried off, having a really flustered face. Even I could tell she was avoiding me. I felt really down as I walked to the lunch room.
I just looked down, not bothering to say sorry. I nodded my head in apology and attempted to walk off but a familiar hand grabbed mine.
I spun round to have every last hope in me crushed. It wasn't Devon. It wasn't my second choice, Michelle, either. It was Trent. He stared at me with a really worried look and I shook it out of my mind. I smiled a weak smile and struggled to free my hand but it just made his grip tighter.
"Hey... After school... Meet me?"
I was stunned for a momentat his question and I felt tears in my eyes. I didn't know why, and nodded. My heart felt something wrong. Like I shouldn't go. But my mind moved my head. And I sped off.
"In-In the courtyard! See you..!" He shouted after me. I dashed for the washroom.
I stared at my pathetic reflection in the mirror. My tears dripping into the sink. My eyes stained with red. My cheeks smeared with pink. My eyebrows arched. My eyes screamed questions. But the loudest one of all was...
What am I doing?
As Trent wanted, I headed to the courtyard right after school, afraid of what he might say. My heart told me not to go. But I refused to listen. Because my mind was in control. I trudged in the muddy grass, towards that square courtyard. I sat down there and waited for him. I guess the sempais are always released late...
Trent came running towards me, waving his hand vigorously. I gave the same weak smile. My legs shivered. My right leg seemed to grow a brain and took a step back. There was no looking back now. I can't run anymore. My legs froze instantly. I gave up. I fell to the cold hard floor. I was really scared...
A strong arm came to pick me up, and my heart screamed for Devon. That arm grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. My head swayed up and down, slowing down to face Trent.
Should have expected... Devon won't be here... What am I, an idiot..? Haha...
I was really going crazy with depression. I had never gone a day without seeing Devon's face even once before and my heart couldn't adjust. My chest hurts. It feels like exploding. I peered up to see Trent's face colored red. He mumbled a few weird words I couldn't understand before looking back at me.
"Anne! Don't think about him anymore! If he hurts you that much..."
Huh? Is he talking about Devon?
He had some kind of devoted face. His seriousness increased 100x when he said his sentence.
"Anne. Run away from your life. With... me."
What? Run away? With... Him?
He grasped my hands tightly.
"Run... away... with you..?" I was shivering. What was this supposed to mean..?
"I love you Anne. Please, go out with me. Please, run away with me".
No. No..! I..! I love Devon, what am I supposed to say? Trent loves me? I don't know what I'm supposed to do! I... How am I going to... Rejection was so easy back then... Why does it seem so hard now? What am I supposed to be saying to him? What am I supposed to reply? Who am I supposed to make happy right now..?
"Erm... Er... I..." I stammered. I didn't know how to reply. I didn't know what to reply. Devon, help me... Please... Devon..!
"Heh. Cornering somebody's property when their away huh..."
Devon was leaning against a pillar, hands stuffed into his pockets. His wore a grin, his eyes relaxed. His crimson eyes shone in the afternoon sun. My first thought?
What am I doing...
"Devon." Trent twitched.
"Trent." Devon's chin went up.
Devon and Trent were having a stare down. Devon with relaxed eyes which smirked at Trent, not wanting to lose. Trent with serious eyes, dieing to win, frowning intensely. But soon, as if they were communicating, it turned into a 'glare down'. And soon, Devon gritted his teeth and his eyebrows arched down, his lips no longer turned upwards. His eyebrows arched lower and lower, becoming incredibly angry. But sadness was also present in his small eyes.
"It wasn't my fault..." Devon muttered just loud enough for Trent and I to hear. Trent stared at him, pity slowly showing in his seriously concentrated eyes.
"IT WASN'T MY FAULT SHE RAN AWAY!", Devon screamed out, pain present in his angered tone. Every form of pain and suffering were present in his shaky voice.
That was exactly how scared and pained he was.
"Stop saying that. It IS your fault. And you can't change that." Trent said, emotionless.
"SHUT UP BASTARD!" Devon's face was red, with tiny, almost unnoticeable tears at the corner of his closed eyes.
"... I loved her first asshole. And you came to take her away. Are you doing it again? To your best friend?" Trent now spoke with a cold and heartless voice.
"SHUT UP... SHUT UP..! YOU'RE NOT MY BEST FRIEND ANYMORE! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" Devon covered his ears, his eyes still closed, now warm tears flowing.
"But in the end she was just trash right? Isn't that what you're thinking? Since she dumped you-"
Trent didn't retaliate this time. Though he was grinning slightly. A grin that wasn't supposed to be there, in that time, situation, and place. Devon was panting, the tears staining his perfect face.
"Don't you DARE, EVER, talk about Mary, like THAT."
Mary? That sounded a lot like my middle name?
"Mary is gone, Devon."
"You saw it yourself."
"You were even presen-"
"SHUT THE FREAKING HELL UP!"
Silence traveled through the totally empty courtyard.
"Anne." Devon finally said after a few tense seconds that seemed like hours. I turned to him in shock at the sudden call of my name.
"Just... Do what you like, kay?" He gave me a weak smile, his eyebrows still slightly arched. I just stared at him, a worried look riding on my face. He turned around to walk away but I grabbed his hand totally on instinct. Trent's eyes widened, as if expecting me to go to him after such an order from Devon himself. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I desperately tried to say something, but nothing came out.
I have to hurry, or else Devon will... Go somewhere far... C'mon, say something..!Come on Anne..!
Still not a word exited my mouth. Instead, tears flowed out. I breathed in and out, my mouth still open, desperately wishing for something to be uttered. I drooped to the ground, now kneeling, still grasping on to Devon's hand with both my hands. Some of my tears dripped onto the floor, some onto my thigh. I couldn't say anything. Nothing came out.
What I could say though, was only this one word. If I could say it, I'm sure I could say anything else.
Devon was still standing but I wasn't able to see what expression he was wearing. But his hand clasped mine. He bent down to face me. He perked up my chin to make me stare straight into his eyes.
"Bye bye, Anne."
He pressed his lips onto mine. It felt warm. None of my kisses ever felt like this, always cold and awkward feeling. But this was warm, loving, and happy feeling filled my body as fast as you think 'fast' would be. I, too, slowly closed my eyes to bask in the warmth. But soon, he released me, and sadness rushed through me. He forced his hand out of mine, and all I saw was his feet. Walking away.
The last that I saw that day.
By time I woke up, I was lying in the nurse's room, on a comfy white bed. Trent was next to me, an expression I've never seen before on his face. It was like a mix of confusion, disappointment, love, pain and determination. That is a lot of feelings. Because just looking at it made me feel very uncomfortable. That's how I knew. I stared at him, my eyebrows twitched up.
"I... just got rejected, didn't I?" I asked him softly. Trent stayed quiet. I knew he was thinking of asking me again to run away with him, seeing as I was vulnerable from all the shit that had just happened. But for my sake, his mouth stayed zipped. And that way it stays, is what I'm hoping for. I sat up in my bed, grabbed my coat, slipped on my shoes, and ran for the door, but my legs were unsteady and I collapsed to the ground. Trent immediately ran for me and grabbed my arm but I slapped it away.
"Don't touch me!" Trent looked shocked, and so did I. What was I saying? It wasn't his fault I got rejected after all. I swiftly picked myself up and turned to face him, though my head fell downwards almost instantly.
"I'm sorry, sempai, please give me a while to cool." Having that said, I dashed out of the room. I ran all the way home, not even being bothered by the heavy bag I was lugging. I wrenched open the door, rushed in and slammed the door. I panted for a short while, and looked around for my mother.
Hm? This is awkward... There's no lights on... Is mom not home?
I walked slowly through the corridor, slightly afraid of what may come. Maybe a burglar will spring behind me? I held a fighting pose as I turned round.
What am I doing? I'm depressed, admit it... Wait, was this sniffing? Is my nose sniffing by itself? It's coming from mom and dad's room...
It must be mom... Cause it's not as if dad EVER comes home...
I pushed the ajar door open and my eyes dropped to see mom on the floor, grasping her phone tightly. The things in her room were all over the place. Even her lamp laid broken on the floor. The batteries of her room's house phone were on the floor and the phone was out the window. Was that the thing I saw in the bushes earlier?
"Mom?" I called out to her softly. My mom was always there for me, the useless and rude me. So why shouldn't I be next to her? She turned her head slowly to face me. Tears stained her pretty face and her mascara and blush were smudged. What could it possibly be to make her cry so hard? Mom NEVER cries. At least, not in front of me. She was happy everyday.
That was all in the past. When dad was by her side. Now dad is so pre occupied with work and hardly ever comes home. And whenever he does, Mom would welcome him with a hug and he would just stand there. Ever since last year. It all started last year. When dad became like this. For this reason, I really hated dad for making her so sad but I just kept quiet for my ego. I really love mom. I really love her. And I, will murder the person who made her like this.
"What's wrong? Mom?" Her eyes were emotionless. Her lips were slightly parted. She turned her head back and threw the phone at me. I caught the phone and unlocked it. I looked at it. Her last call was...
Kelvin. Which means Dad.
Seeing that it was only 20 seconds long, he must not have picked up the phone. I scanned through her messages. Nothing. She deleted them all. I tried to press it out of her but all I heard was...
I stood outside the large building complex and stared up and up, and... up... up... up... Um, my neck is getting tired... How many floors again? Was it fifty two? Or fifty nine? I can't remember... Look for dad, right. I walked into the GIANTTTT building, tried to stroll naturally past the security guard, and got pulled back by the collar.
"What the _ are you doing?!(I'll leave you to imagine what that word is... :|)" The 50 year old man - around there - shouted at me. He berated me and the whole time I was staring at his shoes.
Hmm... His shoes look quite nice... Are those designer? WAIT. THAT IS..! ITS A REAL-
"Are you listening young lady?!" His saliva was all over my face. Not enough old man? Let me go already...
"I'm here to see my father..!" DON"T PULL THE HAIR, WATCH THE HAIR!
"Hah? Does your father think he's on a holiday?! His daughter can just come see him whenever?! GET OUT!" Saliva, WATCH the saliva old man!
"What is the problem here?" A husky voice echoed through the empty corridor. A tall man stood in front of the elevator door with a tall BIG BREASTED woman - whoa - hugging his arm tightly. She was wearing a normal everyday work kind of outfit, a white blouse with a black jacket and a tight black skirt. His collar button was undone, and I saw IT on his neck. My mind burned with rage but I decided to let my face remain calm. The security guard immediately turned panicky and fidgeted around. He finally decided to salute and bow at the same time. What an idiot.
"G-g-g-good afternoon B-boss!" The security guard shouted. Then he saw me looking at the man, and the man, his 'boss', staring back at me.
"Good day, Anne." He tightened his loose tie with one hand. The BREAST woman looked smug while staring at me, acting cute with her small lips forming a smile.
I stood on his nice carpeted office. Red carpets... Why can't he do that for OUR house? Mom has to buy all the furniture by herself you asshole!
"What in the world would you be looking for here, Anne?"
Dad was half-British but speaking like this here ain't getting you no where, bastard!
He smoothed his whitened hair back while telling the breast woman to stand outside for a while and that he would be out soon. He called her 'natasha', apparently. But I like breast woman more, how bout you?
"Dad. I know what you did here. In this exact room." I said, once breast woman left the room. Dad's black tie had a slight 'mark' behind it too. Dad eyed me with the 'how much do you know' look. That's where I inherited all those looks from. From this cunning asshole. I feel sick knowing clearly now that I have this sick man's chromosomes in me.
"You have no say in this matter. Just state what you have come for." Dad was getting flustered on how much I know, and I can just guess what mom had saw. I'm sure mom had realized it too, but just refused to admit it.
"I've seen the damn hickie already, stop trying to cover it up." Dad was pulling on his collar, obviously trying to hide it. An exclamation mark popped up above his head. Sweat ran down his cheek, his eyes opened wide. He coughed and pulled his tie.
"I saw that too." I pointed to the lipstick smudged onto his tie. I think he didn't even notice it was there. He gave a loud sigh and just sat down in his chair.
"Why did you do it?"
"Do what?" His head propped on his hand, he stared at me with sweat on his head, but I think he really didn't know.
"Cheat. Why must you cheat on mom? She has been so loyal." I could feel all my emotions wanting to burst. But I kept the calm face so as to not let him have the upper hand. Dad is very smart, but at the same time, a big idiot. He can be really manipulative. But only when he realizes he can, so really, as long as he doesn't suddenly have an eureka attack, I'm safe. But how long can I maintain this face...
"Ugh. She was getting boring. She was a tad irritating too."
"Oh so you think she doesn't get irritated by your stupid British accent?" I said almost immediately after his sentence ended. He looked at me with a weird 'what the goldfish' face.
"She married me, Anne. Why in the world would she be?"
"You married her too." I instantly replied. Dad was losing this fight. He always did, actually. Whenever we had a fight with words, I always won, because his statements are really stupid and easy to counter.
"... Your point being?" He gave me a sympathetic face, like I don't know what I was saying. Asshole..!
"You wouldn't find her boring if you married her right? Not at first, at least." I let out a small smirk as dad suddenly snaps into realization of the logic. Common sense doesn't exist in your tiny brain huh. Hm. I guess it was obvious. How stupid of me not to notice.
"Well... That.." He was getting flustered. But actually, I was too. Without his 'smart' -cough- as if -cough- comments, I can't think of anything to say.
"You cheated on her. What do you want? I bet you're staying in breast woman's house."
"Breast woman?" Question marks popped up.
Shyt, Forgot that doesn't apply to him!
"I m-mean Natasha."
"Why? Why would you do this?" I was feeling really emotional.
"...It's not that I hate your mother, but once I found out my feelings were going towards Natasha, I thought, it would be better for me, and for Maria too." Dad looked at his dress shoes.
"So CHEATING on her was the ONLY thing you could think of?" My anger was conflicting with all the sadness in me. My voice was getting louder.
"I... Really did love Maria. But I am not a filial husband. I was cheating on her even if not physically. I am not deserving of a woman like Maria." Dad looked very sad and some of the anger in me diminished. But my sadness became greater. Sometimes humans become like that. That's the only thing humans need to fear, their feelings. They are never constant... Would my feelings change too? Oh no, tears are coming to my eyes... I slapped myself lightly and looked up at dad.
He looked at me with a regretful face.
"Please. Just.. Go tell her the truth. No matter what, she would want to be with you, but if you really wanted, she would let you go too. But she's better off knowing the truth. Don't let her suffer forever. Don't make her think that her place in your heart had disappeared totally. Go tell her." I stuck out my hand and smiled weakly at him.
Dad's eyebrows were arched upwards and his eyes were full of remorse. He grabbed my hand.
We stayed silent in the elevator. There was nothing to say. After today, I would most probably re-establish all ties with him or cut it all off. The lift let out a 'ding' and the doors opened. The people working there all greeted him anxiously. He was the manager of this building after all, second only to the CEO. I heard the CEO was also a big dick.
Sorry, was that insulting? Really sorry. REALLY.
We exited the building but we stopped. We both stayed quiet. We were totally lost. We didn't know what to do here. It's like both of us are regretting our decision. But with my resolve, I forced my left leg to the left, and next my right leg. I forced it to walk the direction of my house. Dad was stunned for a moment, rooted to the spot. But soon, he smiled and followed after me.
Anne is all grown up now, I may actually lose to her...
We stood across the road, opposite the house. The same thing repeated again. But I'm already here, what am I supposed to do? I can't back down now. It's just like today at the courtyard...
I gasped. Dad looked down at me. I covered my mouth, tears flowing down.
Oh no, I can't cry here. I already told myself I would maintain a facade... What would dad do now?
My tears flowed non-stop. But dad, as if he read my mind, he spoke to me.
"Whatever is confusing you, follow your heart. That is the best." I looked up at him shocked. He was smiling warmly at me, though his eyebrows were creased.
"Don't be like me."
The front door to my house opened. The both of us turned to face the house. Mom stepped out. Her face was clean now and it looks like she has calmed down a lot. She walked to the bushes and rummaged through it. I wiped my tears with the back of my hands as dad stared, confused. He then let out a small laugh. Staring at him, I smiled, seeing that he still had a slight connection with her, no matter how small.
I turned back to her. Is she... Looking for the lamp that was thrown out of the window? Wow. Can't believe she actually knew where it was thrown. She suddenly looked up and saw us standing there. Well, actually, just dad. She didn't see me.(I'm kinda sad) Dad stared at her worriedly, mom stared at him, shocked. She looked away with a hurt expression. Dad still looked at her, eyes not moving away. That means he still loved her, no matter how much. That was enough. Mom peeked up again, and dad took the chance. He did something that made mom stand up.
He smiled. A smile that was warm. So warm I felt it. And I'm serious. It suddenly got hot. And dad actually looked handsome. Am I hallucinating or what?
Mom stood up so fast, she scratched her leg. She looked confusedly at her leg then back up at dad then back to her leg. Then worse still, she noticed me and began more flustered. Then dad chuckled. Enough to catch mom's attention. This couple was stupid and cute at the same time, so much so that it was getting idiotic. Mom smiled at dad and ran out the gate. I looked at dad happily. Maybe he would consider coming back. But it was so sudden. So sudden, that I didn't have a chance to react.
His expression changed.
Actually, this chapter was meant to be longer but this is seriously long already. Even I would get tired. This is my fourth day writing this, it's so tiring... So... You most probably know what I am trying to say in the last part... Erm... I really have nothing to say... I guess such a long chapter is to celebrate it being chapter ten... So... Yeah... Look forward to the next chapter, most probably coming out next week or so... Yeah... So, sorry for the mistakes.
Devon: Hi Mich...
Michelle: Why are you so down in the dumps?
Devon: No reason... Sigh...
Michelle: Hey, your dad is the CEO of that large company right?
Devon: Sigh... Yup...
Michelle: How lucy...
Devon: But he never comes home... And people call him a huge dick...
Michelle: ... Oh... (No wonder, should have expected since Devon is also like that)
Devon: You know vampires like us can read minds right...
Claudime: R&R! (Now you know who Devon's father is! If you don't know what I'm hinting at, it's Anne's father's boss. Bye bye!) Happy valentine!