You had picked me.

That fact alone
is what had gotten me
out of bed in the morning;
and kept me awake
late into the night.

And still does.


Just for different reasons.

You had charmed your way
into my life
with flattery that was false
and promises that went "poof!"
(just like magic)
as soon as your friends appeared.

At first, I didn't know
what you had chosen me for.
But then later,
as I began to notice
all the cruel smirks
and shared secrets
behind cupped hands...

I did.

You had chosen me
merely as a source of entertainment.
A jester in a king's court
if you will.

Because you certainly considered yourself to be royalty.

I deluded myself,
believing that you would never
hurt me in such a way.

I was wrong.
So very, very wrong.

You teased constantly,
and to such a degree
that I began to question
my once unwavering loyalty.

You laughed at my dreams,
fell silent at my jokes,
and dismissed me rudely
as if I were nothing more
than a servant.

You began to push me away,
little by little.

And then you banished me.

Selfishly taking
my heart of gold for yourself
and locking it away
to crumble and rust.

I wandered alone,
for countless days,
among others who would use me
as you had
simpley for the means to an end.

And then, in the midst
of all the greed and despair,
there was a flicker of light.

No, he is no knight
in shining armor,
here to sweep me off my feet;
but then again,
neither are you.

He is as quiet as me,
his inner light muted and soft,
hidden away from the world.

But it was enough,
to spark my own,
as dim and weak as it was.
Nearly extinguished by your cruelty.

And all over again,
I'm shy and uncertain,
and so is he.

Just as we're beginning to learn,
together at least,
you take notice.

And you don't like what you see.

You take my heart,
which is just beginning
to break down the walls
that you forced around it,
and lock it away again.

Unbidden, I'm drawn back to you,
my heart calling out
for a savior.

The cycle repeats,
and you force your way
into my heart again,
tryinng to convince
it to stay with you.

But this time, I will fight.
Sewing the pieces back together
and filling the hole
that you left.

I will not be on the end of a joke.
I have no time
for such childish games.

I will not be the one
left hurting and alone.

Not again.

Fool me once,
shame on you;
fool me twice,
shame on me.

I will not be made a fool of.

Never again.

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