AN: Okay, so this was not written by me. This was something that was written by my (now ex-) boyfriend, who is on fictionpress as Glacier Fall. I suggest his poetry, if he ever publishes it. 'Tis beautiful.

Anyway, he wrote this for me at about one in the morning via text. He has since asked me to publish it here multiple times. I have agreed, even though he now has his own account and should publish it himself *cough*.

It is a short, dramatic, romantic tale of adventure, battles, and explosions. Of scarecrows that become death lords. Of nuclear submarines and rat people. It is our story, and quite possibly yours as well. It may not make sense, but life rarely does.

Read on my friends.


So, once I was riding my flying stegosaurus through the land of darkness, when all of a sudden white batman ran up to me and somersaulted over my rack of canned goods on the way to Menards. When I tripled checked to see where he'd gone, you came in with a flamer thrower to help escape from this twisted realm.

After fighting hordes of tuna wielding goblins and alligator dogs, we made it to the jeweled gate. I was then knocked off, but thankfully you grabbed my hand and pulled me back on. After hitting the afterburners and crashing through the gate we ran into a huge lollipop wielding scarecrow with magic pixie dust breath that melted steel. Thankfully, I brought my nuclear submarine and blew him up before he was able to turn into a death lord.

Finally, we were able to return to the surface after the many days of hardships and battles. Many rat people were slain by the frost giants that were inevitably set free from the eruption of the underground magma pockets. But after that we were home free. After the many trials and tribulations we endured I turned to you, and looked deeply into your eyes, and said these words: "Next time... just dinner and a movie, and please ask for directions."

AN: Again; written by Glacier Fall. Even if you didn't like this, I suggest you check out his account sometime. Anyway, reviews are welcome, constructive criticism praised, and flames... will be used to thaw frost giants. :)