Author's Note: I'm not sure how accurate this is. I wanted to capture the thoughts of the young Catherine the Great.
~A Story of Russia~
I cannot do this! He is such a child. He still plays with toys and worst of all, he expects me to join in on his games. I can never love him. At most he will be like a brother to me.
He does not help me at all. I wish to learn the Russian language, but how can I do so when all he responds in is German? I know he knows the language. Just yesterday he defended me in front on Mother in Russian. No longer can he play off that he does not know Russian. I will make him respond to me in Russian. I do have to admit, it did make my heart melt a bit. Warmth is so hard to find in this harsh climate.
His reoccurring illness scares me a bit. If he should fall ill and die, where does that leave me? Will the Empress expel me from Russia and force me to return home in disgrace? I just hope and pray that does not happen.
I must always be careful of what I so and do. It is so easy to be sent to Siberia or worse. Rumours about my mother frighten me yet.
The door is opening and Peter is here now. He wants his Figchen to play a game. I cannot say no to him.