My mommy told me today that she was going somewhere far far away. Somewhere where the sun always shines and the grass is always green.
I didn't want my mommy to go.
I wanted her to stay, with her smile and her cookies.
I wanted to her to tuck me in every night.
I wanted her to tell me bedtime stories.
When I didn't answer her, mommy looked at me with her real sad eyes. She reached out for my hand and took it holding it in her own. I was scared.
Her fingers barely had the strength to hold mine. The once strong grip was replaced by shaking.
Mommy used to be there for me but right now I had to be there for her.
"Where are you going?" I asked but I felt that I didn't wanna know.
"A place called heaven, honey."
Heaven, that was where my nana went. That was where Gil went.
"Are you going to see nana?" I asked hopefully.
"I will honey, no doubt about it."
"When you see nana, will you tell her that I love her?"
"Oh, Annabelle, nana already knows."
There was pain in mama's face.
"Are you hurt? Do you want me to kiss your booboo?"
I didn't want mama to hurt, she didn't deserve to be in pain. Mama laughed her voice sounding like the pretty bells of the bell tower in town, but her voice sounded scratchy.
"I am afraid that my booboo cannot be kissed."
I held on to my mommy's hands, I would be strong for her.
" I love you so much, my beautiful baby."
She whispered her voice sounding distant as though she was talking from another room.
"I love you more." I said firmly.
"I love you more than you could possibly know." There was a smile in her voice. She laid her head back on the pillows and fell asleep
I stood their watching her. She seemed peaceful, a smile on her pretty lips.
I climbed into bed with and curled up, just like I always did.
I too fell asleep, but not like mommy did.
I have been told many times after my mommy died that she was in a better place. That she was happy. I know that she is happy.
I am the one who is sad.
My mommy was like my very own skin. When she died, all that was left of me was a big pile of blood and lyin' there all helpless on the ground.
Today I would turn six. There was going to be cake and presents and all my friends would come to my home. But when I woke up, I ran straight to where mommy used to sleep yelling the same thing I did last year.
"Mommy, it's birthday time!"
I stopped. The bed was empty, the covers were all tucked in. No one had slept in here for a very long time. No one would sleep in here anymore.
I sat down on the ground staring at the bed, forgetting for a moment that she was in heaven.
"Mommy?" my voice sounded alien to my ears, as though it wasn't my own voice.
"Where are you?"
The empty bed didn't reply. Only the big yellow curtain rustled in reply as though to say something. But it couldn't.
Clutching Mr. Bunny in my hand, I slowly walked to the bed, hoping that she would reply.
Maybe if I stepped just a little closer, she would know that I am here and she would say Boo, scared you honey. Now lets go open your presents.
Only silence, came from the bed.
The curtains kept on whispering the things. They sounded like they were saying something important, but I couldn't understand them.
My fingers touched the bed. It was just as soft as I remembered it to be. I pressed my nose to it, smelling it. It smelled like sunshine and roses, the big red kind that you can get at Valentine's day in the store.
"Annabeeeeeeelllle, you forgot something."
I turned back to see mommy holding Mr. Bunny in her hand. How could I have forgotten him? I rushed back to the bunny and took him into my hands. He looked reproachfully at me as though to scold me about forgetting him.
"Aren't you going to say something, Annie?"
"Thank you mommy."
With Mr. Bunny I was now all set for my very first day of school. I got my red backpack and my lunch. I even brought my favorite book, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. I had this horrible feeling that I was forgetting something very big, something even bigger than me. I stepped onto the brown sidewalk and I walked towards the yellow bus waiting for me. I thought very hard about what I could be forgetting.
I stopped before the bus, I knew that if I went without this thing than my whole day would be very very bad.
"Are ya getting' on munchkin?"
Asked the bus driver.
I remembered. I had forgotten mommy! I ran back to where mommy was standing, now looking at me with concern.
"What is it Annie?"
"I forgot something."
"What could it possibly be now?"
End Chapter One
If you want me to go on, let me know.