guns and roses

the sparrows in the horizon seem lost,
uncertain of which direction to escape
and the sky is in that same dying shade of blue
ever since I gave up my soul to you

you taught me how to tune out the screams
echoing inside my mind while sipping
sex on the beach from funny-shaped neon straws
as we held intelligent debates
about anything unintelligible because
we were both seventeen, juvenile
and careless and one step closer
to our own destruction

we buried our promises underneath the stars
and when twilight came, I waited for you
in the backyard till the leaves
started whispering my epitaph
but you never came

gunshots collided with the murmurs of thunder
and as I ran towards the noise,
I found my father holding a revolver
and you were lying on the ground,
drenched in the rain, lifeless

I screamed and cried and he held me in his arms
as he dropped his weapon on the soft earth
and it was as if the bullet
pierced through my own heart,
killing our dreams that
were blessed by the moon herself

the wedding was on a sunny wednesday
and I put on my gown, trying to hold on
to the pretense for a while longer
because it felt more like a funeral
but I was the only one grieving

papa always had his way
but not this time
so I took his gun
I secretly hid in the dresser
and pulled the trigger