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Cons of Crushes"
(That can affect other people)

Written: 06/01/2013 [began]
Published: 28/01/2013 [finished]
Word Count: 5,147
Own Universe: Yes
© Copyright 2013.

~Nessa~

The average girl in modern-day society is the one who is exceedingly skinny, wears clothes that are so revealing that you see more skin than material and have an ego the size of Russia. I couldn't help but think about this when I was out with Laura and Bree the other day. We were discussing the usual things that we usually do; school, family, and just general issues of lives until the subject of boys was brought up by none other than Bree.

By then, I would have been going out with Tristan for about three months, and even now that it has been at least six months, I still can't believe that I'm still dating the guy. It's still overwhelming. Mum says it's because of my lack of confidence, but I disagree. I'm just going on the fact that some of the girls that Tristan had gone out with before me were like that, and I'm so different. I don't doubt him at all, I'm just scared that one day he's going to wake up and realise that I'm not the girl he likes anymore. I know it's stupid because I'm only sixteen and I should be focusing on my studies, but I really like him. Is it bad that I'm insecure about this?

Maybe it's not the best thing to post this on a public blog because knowing my boyfriend, Tristan will read this, but I really need to get this off my chest. There's no one I can really talk to about this stuff. Of course Laura and Bree are there for me whenever I need them and I tell them everything, but they have their own problems. Tristan will probably think that I'm some sort of freak if I even try to talk to him about this. My mum or dad just wouldn't understand, and my younger brother… Well, he's a boy! He thinks I'm stupid for liking a boy he's in a different social status at school than me.

Anyway, I have homework to do, so this is me signing off.

~Zee xx

P.S. A few more issues that can be caused when you like someone? Here are a few; insecurity, family seperation and other suitors. Ugh, hard times, that's all I'm saying.

Number Four: Insecurity

As soon as Zatanna had clicked the 'publish' button with her mouse and stepped away from her computer chair to lie down on her double bed, phones everywhere began to beep, signalling that the girl had updated her blog for the day. It was what happened when you had subscribed to 'A_to_Zee' on Wildfire, the popular blog for teenagers this day in age.

Tristan was no exception. He had subscribed to her ages ago. It was about four o'clock in the afternoon, which meant school had finished 45 minutes ago. He had decided to stay back until five to work on some Science homework he had forgotten to do the night before, which was due tomorrow. His house was chaotic, with his parents currently going through a messy divorce, so the library was like his sanctuary and escape from his home life.

So, here he was, scribbling a few sentences down while he glanced up at his textbook occasionally. His iPhone was lying next to the text book.

It buzzed to signalise Zatanna's update. He dropped the pen with a sigh and stretched his arms with a yawn before reaching for his phone. The message on the locks screen read:

'Wildifire Update: A-to-Zee

Accept or Decline?'

He couldn't help but grin as he thought of his girlfriend. Their sixth month anniversary was coming up in a few weeks, and he was still over the moon at how great Zatanna was. He should have asked her out way before they got together, but at least they're dating now. He used his thumb to tap the 'accept' button before typing in his code to unlock his phone. The mobile website immediately popped up to Zatanna's newest update, and Tristan rested his chin in his hand while he began to read.

Expecting a happy or somewhat cheerful update, he was surprised and a little annoyed when he realised it was about her doubting herself and their relationship once again. Hadn't they discussed this already? They were going strong, had been for six months, much to the surprise of the student body, but he thought that they were okay. Was he wrong?

His memory suddenly flashed to one of her old blog posts, the one where she had listed the bad things about liking someone, to number three; negative thoughts. He smacked himself in the forehead due to his stupidity. He stood up abruptly, gathered his books and ran out the exit of the library, ignoring the scoldings he got from the elderly librarian. He had only one thing one his mind; he needed to talk to Zatanna.

Drumming her fingernails against her desk, the black-haired girl was once again sitting in her computer chair while she scrolled through her News Feed on Facebook. Nothing really worth reading had made itself on there, and it's not like Wildfire was any better. She had already checked it after she had collapsed on her bed, but that was just as blank. She clicked the link to her profile in the top right-hand corner, and began going through her Profile Pictures album.

Her current default picture was of her and Tristan at school a couple of days ago when the two had decided to hang out together on the oval. They hadn't realised that Bree, Laura and Tristan's best friend, Connor, were nearby. The three of them had spied on the couple throughout recess, secretly taking photos. When Bree had showed them to Zatanna, she was not happy, but had nonetheless taken the ones she liked and uploaded the ones she liked onto her computer and chosen her favourite one to put as her new profile picture.

In the photo which Laura had taken on her surprisingly good quality camera phone, Tristan and Zatanna were laughing their heads off. He was hugging her from behind, bending over because his girlfriend had been on her knees at the time as he tried to get her back from throwing grass into his hair which one could see if they looked closely, showing off his bright green eyes even though the area around his tanned face was shadowed slightly. He was facing his girlfriend while she looked up and the cloudy blue sky so the sun was reflecting off her colbalt eyes with her mouth wide open in a large smile.

Suddenly, her mobile phone began to ring, with Haven't Had Enough by Marianas Trench echoing into her ear. Pushing the chair away, she practically dived across her bed, landing on her stomach as she reached for her phone. She clicked the 'talk' button, and pressed it to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Zee, is there something you need to tell me?" came Tristan's voice. He sounded annoyed and fearful, because he may have interpreted her update wrong. Maybe he thought it was about him?

She sighed into the speaker. "Where are you?"

"Outside your house."

She wasn't surprised at the reply. "I'll be down in a minute." she said before hanging up. She rubbed her temples in frustration, annoyed at herself for posting that. Even though it felt good to get the problem off her chest, she should have told him straight up that she was doubting herself. Why was she such an idiot?

When she got downstairs and opened the door for the brunette teenager, she allowed him to step past her. She led him back up to her bedroom, and the awkward silence and tension between them seemed to grow by every passing second. Usually, they were laughing their heads off or having a good time. Sure, they had their tender moments, and this seemed to be one of them.

When they got up to her room, she closed the door behind him, motioning for him to sit on her bed. He did so, watching her movements with his eyes. She couldn't help but blush under his gaze, almost knocking over her lamp. She gasped, and grabbed it as it began to wobble, threatening to break.

"Zatanna, tell me what's wrong." he requested softly, standing up beside her.

"It's not you," she began. "I don't want to break up with you, because I really like you, Tristan." She rubbed her arm self-conciously, having a hard time to keep her blue eyes off his face. "I just feel like I'm not good enough for you. I'm nothing like the girls you've dated in the past, and it makes me feel inferior to them. I mean, they're beautiful, and popular, and I'm in a whole other social status than you."

"Wait, is that all?" he asked in confusion. He looked like he was trying to hold back a laugh, because suddenly an offended expression made its way onto his girlfriend's face. "C'mon, Zee, popularity isn't everything. You're beautiful, okay? I think you're most beautiful person, inside and out. I can't believe I'm actually saying this, I sound like a huge sap. See what you do to me?"

"I can't believe you think I'm joking." she said angrily, folding her arms in her defense. Tristan could feel an argument rising. "This is ridiculous! Here I am practically pouring my heart out to you, and you think it's funny that I'm not as pretty as your ex-girlfriends!"

"Did you not just hear I word I said?"

"That's not the point! I feel like I shouldn't be with you, no matter how much I want too-"

"Shut up, Zatanna! For God's sake, I am in love with you, alright? You want a reason why you should be with me? Well, now you have one! I love you!"

The girl's eyes widened in surprise. Wait, how long had he liked her again? He had never specified, he just said 'for a while' when he had asked her out. So, over time, he must have fallen in love with her. He continued to stare at her, trying to regain his breath from yelling before Zatanna practically jumped on him to smother him in kisses. He was taken aback at first for she clung onto him for dear life while she practically climbed on top of his standing figure to wrap her legs around his waist. He immediately began kissing her back, pushing her back gently against the wall while she let her form slip so that her feet gently touched the floor while she tangled her fingers into the brown mess he called his hair. She murmured her response in between kisses, though her 'I love you too' was muffled.

He pulled away first, pressing his forehead to her's while they looked into each other's eyes. She couldn't help but continue to play with his hair gently while she smiled at him nervously. "You really love me?"

He nodded in response, his lips also curling into that adorable, half-smile she loved. He looked so cute when he did that. She pressed her lips to hers once more before they both pulled away quickly at the sound of her bedroom door opening to reveal none other than her father and her annoying little brother.

"See, dad, I told you!"

Her face deepened into a frown as she let go of Tristan, who awkwardly placed a hand behind his head while Zatanna just reached for his hand in reassurance. 'I'm going to kill that little rascal!' she thought bitterly, glaing at the younger boy in the room. His name was Alessandro, Zander for short because he hated his name, and he was thirteen. He had inherited their mother's curls instead of straight hair like his older sister, and his eyes were a doe brown, cheeky, like their father's.

"Zatanna," her father said, voice firm. He was a tall man, slightly plump, and one could easily tell when he was angry or frustrated because his breathing became heavier, his doe eyes hardened, and his goaty would seem to grow pointy because of the way he raised his head to seem more intimidating. "What have I told you about boys in the house?" he asked, folding his arms while his daughter laughed sheepishly.

"Umm..."

She glanced at Zander out of the corner of her eye to see him trying to hold back his laughter. Oh, he was so dead.

Number Five: Family Seperation

When I found out that my older sister was going out with her boyfriend, I couldn't help but double over in laughter. It was just so funny because whenever I spied on Zee and her friends (Bree is so hot!), she would complain about how the guy she liked would never notice her and how she would always do stupid things around him, and now she was going out with the guy.

I can't help but read Zatanna's blog on Wildfire, so when she posted that update about how she tripped in the library, I almost fell off my chair. There had been a rumor going around school that she had tripped, much to my annoyance because I was actually a cool guy in my year and I didn't want to be known as the guy with the loser older sister, but I hadn't believed it until she had confirmed it. I always thought Zee presented herself to be, well, cool. She was, but I guess around this Tristan guy, she couldn't keep herself on her own two feet.

She was so excited when she told me. It was weird. Zatanna and I don't always see eye to eye, so when she barged into my room and practically collapsed on my bed dreamily, I of course had to ask her.

"My gosh, Zander, I have a boyfriend!" she exclaimed, giggling like an idiot. I paused the game I was playing on my PS3, and glanced at her weirdly. It was about 8.30, and I had been wondering where my sister had been. She had been out around 5.30 and had missed dinner. She never missed dinner at our house when mum was making carbonara - her favourite. I always thought that mum's spaghetti bolognese was better, but whatever.

"What?" I asked in confusion, blinking in surprise. "You have a boyfriend?"

"Yeah..." she answered, sighing like a fan girl. She switched her position so that she was now lying on her stomach to face, arms flat on the bed while she rested her chin on top of them. "Why do you seem so surprised?"

I raised my eyebrows. "'Cause it's you."

She scowled at me. "Plus, it's going to be weird." I added quickly before she slapped me on the back of the head or punched me in the arm. Damn, the girl had a mean right hook, and she leaves bruises! I still have a bruise from the last time she punched me in the arm. "I mean, seeing you kissing and doing lovey-dovey stuff..."

"Trust me, I'll avoid doing anything with him with you around because you'll be reporting it right back to dad." she answered, rolling her eyes.

"So, whose the lucky guy?"

I swear, the guy better not be a jerk. As much as I pretended to hate Zatanna, she was still my sister.

"Tristan Scott."

"The guy you like and talk about whenever you have those ugly face-masks on with cucumbers over your eyes when Bree and Laura are over? By the way, can you put in a good word for me with Bree? She's hot."

"She has a boyfriend, genius. You know Oliver Polowski, right?"

"She's going out with a library dork?!"

"Yes, and you spy on us?!" she yelled, throwing one of my pillows at me. I tried to dodge, but it landed smack-bang in the middle of my beautiful face. I pulled the pillow away from my face, beginning to laugh. Apparently, my laugh is contagious because Zatanna began to laugh as well.

"Okay, okay. Now, I have one thing..."

"What is it, Alessandro?" she asked, sniggering at my glare because she used my full name. I hated it. Sure, I was named after our nonno, but was the stupid full-on Italian name necessary? I mean, I get it, it's like a tradition in our family to be called ridiculous names (c'mon, Zatanna? Really?), but why did I have to be cursed with it too?

"Don't make out when I'm around."

"Zander!"

That bruise was so worth it.

As much as I am happy for Zatanna, I can't help but be a little... upset over it too. Her dating gets her off my back a lot now, and I get a lot of time to myself or just to hang out with my friends, but I miss her company. Don't get me wrong, I hate it when she taunts me, punches me or whatever, but she hardly ever does it anymore. She's always with Tristan or Bree and Laura. The only time we really see her at home is when she confines herself to her room and we have to go to her to talk. She comes to family functions and stuff with the whole family, which is ridiculously big, I might add, but other than that...

It's really weird not having her around. I miss my sister.

I can't blame Tristan, the guys really nice and now one of my mates, nor can I put the blame on my sister's friends. I was actually talking to Laura when she stayed over a few months ago, and she said that Zatanna was spending more time with Tristan than her and Bree, but she still hung out with them at school and stuff. The redhead had managed to make it work - she spent equal time with her boyfriend, who is not as nerdy as I originally thought, her family and friends. So, why couldn't Zatanna?

When I had gone to talk to Zee about it, she took it the wrong way, and we got into this huge argument. We hardly talked to each other for days, only communicating when we had too, and even then it was cold, and we completely ignored each other until I finally gave in and apologised. She was way more stubborn that I was, anyway. She disagreed; she called it her detirmination. Apparently, she had been detirmined to stay angry at me.

I tried again last week, and it has consideraly gotten better. It's holidays at the moment, so she's spent more time at home anyway. We've been hanging out these past few days, just mum, dad, Zee and I, and it's been awesome. We have a holiday house, so we've been staying near the beach these past few days. It brings back old memories from when we were younger - making sandcastles, throwing seaweed into Zatanna's hair, scaring her by taking her to look out old jellyfish that had washed up onto the sand, and the pranks we pulled on each other with my cousins. They were at the house with us too.

At the moment, Chenzi (Vincenza), Nick (Nicola),Tony (Antonio), Zee and I were all riding our bikes down to the ice-cream shop. The owners loved all five of us, because when we came down here during summer holidays, we would spend a lot of time here. They knew our orders, and even gave us a discount on our ice-cream because of how often we ordered.

Chenzi and Zee were sitting at our table while me, Nick and Tony were at the check-outs ordering and collecting all the ice-cream. When we were heading back, I heard Chenzi asking about Tristan, her brown eyes wide in excitement. I put the ice-cream I had in my hand down and shoved Zatanna her oreo ice-cream with hot chocolate fudge while Tony passed his sister her regular rainbow with a waffle cone. The boys slid in the chairs on the opposite side, so I opted so sit down next to Nick who was drinking his chocolate milkshake like his life depended on it.

"So, how are you and Tristan going?" Chenzi asked, twirling one of her black ringlets.

"Really well, actually. It will be about a six months in a couple of days." my sister replied, blushing slightly. I smirked, deciding to tease her a little bit.

"They're so sappy, it makes me want to barf, but you hardly see it because they're making out majority of the time." I snickered, bumping fists with Nick. He smirked in return.

"Yeah, I remember her birthday last year when her dad caught them alone on the couch when he had gone to give her a ring or whatever. Everyone thought that he was proposing. Remember, Tony?"

"Oh, yeah, I've never seen Zio Claudio act like that." Tony remarked, shoving a spoonful of ice-cream in his mouth. "Didn't he end up freaking out that much that he slipped and ended up shoving his face in the cake?"

Zatanna stood up and I flinched as her hand made contact with the back of my head before she sat down again and folded her arms. Her eyes were blazing, she obviously wasn't impressed. I'm so dead. Well, my life was fun while it lasted.

Number Six: Other Suitors

So, year eleven couldn't have come fast enough. Zatanna and her family come back from their holiday down near the beach a weeks ago, and it was great to see my girlfriend again. Laura and Bree, of course, had tackled when us three, Connor and Oliver had gone to meet up with her at the shopping centre. We all lived pretty close to each other, so it wasn't hard organising a time or transportation. I'm actually surprised how close the girls and my friends have gotten. It's great, actually. Now they don't really treat them like outsiders anymore, though they did let them have their space if they wanted too. They were, after all, best friends and had been since... grade three, or from what I remember Zee telling me.

This year was going to be hard; I was going to have to knuckle down even further than I had last year for year ten. School was definitely going to get harder, the work load a lot bigger, and the pressure was definitely on. I come from a strict family, so my parents expect nothing less than eighty-five percent. It would also mean cutting back on some of my after-school activities to give myself more free time. Now I just have to decide - swimming, football or soccer? Probably soccer because I'm not that into it anymore.

Anyway, so here I was, sitting in Biology with Zatanna, Connor and Oliver. Zatanna's subjects mostly consisted of the artsy subjects like Studio Arts Photography, Visual Communication and Art, but apparently she needed a subject to keep her 'grounded', so why not Biology? She was good at it, anyway. Connor, however, had always been into the whole Science and Maths thing. The dude was taking Chemistry, Biology, English, Specialist Maths, Maths Methods, Health and PE as an extra because he had free periods to fill.

I have no idea what I want to be yet, so I chose all-rounded subjects. They were Health & PE, Maths Methods, Biology, Information Technology, Literature and History. I had thought practically when I was choosing my subjects; all of them were different, so maybe I would figure out what I want to do in my life by choosing my subjects like that.

Anyway, back on track, we were sitting in Biology, listening to the teacher drown on about who-know-what when Connor nudged me in the arm. I glanced at him and he jerked his chin forward, motioning me to look at a blonde, Jenna Queen, who was waving at me. I smiled cautiously back, aware of Zee beside me who just rolled her eyes and continued to write notes down in the book. I was well aware of Jenna's crush on me, but had never wanted to act on it because I like Zee. Now that she's my girlfriend and Jenna knew about our relationship, her advances on me had doubled, much to my annoyance. She blew me a kiss before turning around, and I couldn't help but shudder.

I quickly kissed Zatanna's cheek in reassurance.

"Mr Scott!" the teacher shrieked. I straightened up immediately, while all the students now looked up as well because no one had been paying attention. "No PDA during school. You know the rules." she scolded. "Keep the smooching for your own time."

The whole class snickered and I turned red like a tomato. Even Zatanna was trying to hold back her laughter while Connor didn't even try.

Zander came up to me during recess when I was sitting with my mates in the quadrangle at one of the wooden tables which had been built outside. He was in year nine, now. I was a little odd for Zander to randomly come up to me during recess, but I was friends with the younger boy.

"Tristan, there's another rumor going around that you were caught macking on my sister during class..." he said slyly, slapping me on the shoulder. Connor and two of my other friends who were sitting with us, Dion and Noah, smirked at Zander's words while I put my head in my hands in embarassment.

"No, I didn't kiss her during class. Jenna Queen was flirting with me, and Zatanna looked annoyed so I kissed her cheek..."

"You know, I saw a certain blondie crying earlier." he answered, his smirk growing. I groaned, not lifting my face. "I think she has come to face the facts that you are indeed dating my sister, though she still might pursue you." I rolled my right shoulder so that my girlfriend's brother would get his hand off it.

"So, what's this I hear about Gemma Queen having a thing for you?" interrupted Bree's voice, as she came to sit down next to us. Zatanna and Laura were with her too. Zee flicked her brother on the side of the face before coming to sit down beside me and stealing one of my french fries. "I know she's been flirting with you for ages but I never realised she was hopelessly in love with you."

"Sounds like you with Oliver." Zatanna smirked, stealing another chip. Bree turned as red as her hair.

"What about you with Tristan? You're just as bad!"

Now it was both our turn to blush.

"So, Tristan, what are you going to doing about Jenna? You can't exactly leave her hanging like this. I'm not saying to go proclaim your undying love with her, but you're going to have to talk to her eventually about her attraction to you. You need to let her down gently. Explain why you don't want to be with her." Laura said reasonably. She was still standing, leaning on the table with her both her hands gripping the edge on either side. I couldn't help but notice how Connor let his gaze linger on her longer than necessary. Zatanna raised her eyebrows, obviously noticing it too.

She glanced at me, and I nodded. Looks like Zee found Laura a target and was now going to play matchmaker with Bree. A little bit of a surprise, but it was good. Connor had been talking about a girl for a while, now that I think about it. I just never payed attention to it, and only bothered to half-listen.

"Zee, I think your boyfriend has gone deaf." Laura said, snapping her fingers in front of my face. I blinked a few times before scowling.

"Alright, I'll go talk to her."

I had left a few minutes a go from the lunch table. Zatanna and Bree had left with me, but that was so she could fill Bree in on Connor's attraction to Laura. I can't believe I had to this. I was never that good with the girls, and I hated it when they cried because I felt useless and like I couldn't do anything. I finally located the blonde girl around the year eleven locker bay in one of corners with one of her friends. She wasn't crying anymore, now smiling as she tried to wipe away her smudged mascara on her cheeks.

I cleared my throat awkwardly, and awkwardly began approaching them as Gemma stood abruptly. "Tristan," she greeted, unsure of what to say. She looked confused, maybe thinking that I was coming to tell her that I liked her. I couldn't help but shudder at the thought. I had nothing against the girl, just the fact that she had flirted with me these past few years, and now I was coming to reject a girl I had never dated.

"I, uh, came to see if you were alright. " I started, putting a hand behind my head. A grin started to form on her face.

"You do care!"

I groaned inwardly.

"Jenna, I think that you're a great girl and all, it's just... I'm in love with Zatanna Tenassi, and I don't like you the way you like me." I said as gently as I could. I felt so bad. Why did I have to be the one to tell her this? "I'm sorry, but I don't return your feelings. I'm sure there's someone around here who does like you, but I see you only as a classmate - a friend, even."

She sniffed, and the tears started again. Her friend just glared at me and shooed me away, handing a sobbing Jenna another tissue. I murmured another apology before slowly walking back to my friends, scuffing my feet as I walked.

The only person I wanted to see at the moment is my girlfriend, Zatanna.

A/N: Uh, wow. I was never expecting it to be that long. I might be adding one more chapter after this as a sort of epilogue thing. I don't even know why I wrote this one, because it seems like a whole lot of junk just thrown together, but after writing all that until 4am, I'm not scrapping it now like it's nothing. I apologise if it looks rushed and if there are any errors. I'm tired, and can't be bothered checking. :) By the way, do you guys like the idea of Connor and Laura?

Translations:
[nonno] - grandfather
[zio] - uncle

Also, for those who don't know, I spent Vincenza's nickname as 'Chenzi' instead of 'Cenzi' because Vincenza's name is pronounced with the c as 'ch', not 'ka' or 'sss'. :) Just to clarify. I could've made her nickname Vinnie, but I'm not a fan of that nickname - it seems to boy-ish. Also, I'm not actually sure if Zatanna is actually an Italian name, so if it isn't, then just go with it.

Please, review! :D