Title: degenerate beauty queens

summary: her mascara runs down her face and the writing's on the wall, smeared in red lipstick. I JUST WANTED TO BE PRETTY

|tell me i'm p-r-e-t-t-y|

.

she dances under the stars at night and wishes

on falling meteors

she grabs pocketfuls of sunshine and saves them for later

because she knows she'll need it

to see the brighter side of things

.

she laughs like wind chimes and whispers sugar-sweet-candy nothings

into the ears of the boys and girls she likes to kiss

she tastes like tropical rain and the calm before the storm

she tastes like sunshine and vodka and vulnerability

they reach for her

she twirls-dances-flitters away from them like a fairy girl (what's it like to be pixie-kissed?)

they love her

she doesn't

.

she stares at herself in the mirror

(Miss Vanity, Miss Beauty Queen where's your crown and sash look at the crowd and smile your plastic smile)

Her eyes are robin's egg blue and look like once upon a time's

and broken glass dreams

she's such a pretty girl

except she isn't

she's so ugly, on the inside

where it counts

she's hideous

'I JUST WANTED TO BE PRETTY' she scrawls on the mirror in bright red lisptick

she just wants to be pretty she just wants to be not so sad

she just wants to be not so ugly

her mascara is not water-proof and it runs down

her cheeks like black tears

she likes the way it looks

.

she breaks the mirror with her fist

it shatters along with her reflection

and there's probably something metaphoric about it all but

she's too busy looking at the tiny pieces

and not-so-tiny pieces of glass in her hand

it hurts like it's supposed to

and she hopes it leaves scars