I once heard that life is a

terrible place not to have a

best friend.

And it really is.

I wish I could pick up the phone and

call you and although your

gonegonegone

I still do it sometimes.

Just let it ring and ring

until finally your voice says

Hey, this is Sarah.

In the background you can barely hear

Naomi call,

The biggest loser in the world.

Then you laugh and the sound is so wonderful

that I clutch the phone to my chest

and cry.

As I'm doing this your laughter ends,

and like it always is with you,

it's too soon.

Leave a message, you say.

Seconds go by

beep beep beep beep

its your heart slowly

fading away

like it did in that hospital room.

The line goes dead but I scream into it anyway.

Why did you leave me?!

Why did you feel like you had to die?!

Why didn't you tell me?

But there is no answer

and as I hang up

tears clinging to my eyelashes and

anger building in my heart

I wish I could call you

to tell you that

life is too terrible for

me not to have you.